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MOVEITMARY's Photo MOVEITMARY Posts: 1,253
11/2/12 10:40 A

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Hang in there Sherry. I can't give advice on your marriage because I'm divorced. ;)

However, I can tell you a story.

When I was in college, I worked as a waitress. One of my co-workers was a single mother of two. One evening we were going out together after work, and stopped to change at her house. As we were getting ready, she took the time to put lotion on her feet, which I never did except as a luxury. I remarked as much to her, and her reply stayed with me for life. She said, "I have to take care of myself. No one else is going to take care of me, so I have to do it. If I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of my kids."

So... take care of yourself. Given that your family doesn't want to cook, cook what YOU want to eat. Nothing wrong with the whole family getting healthy food! If you are not hungry at his mealtime, maybe you can just sit with him and push some food around on your plate while he eats.

As for working and cooking - SLOW COOKER ROCKS. Yes, you still have to prep the food but at least you don't have to spend time cooking it. You can prep your food, put in the crock the night before, and put it in the fridge. (Or if you are an early riser do it in the morning). Before you go to work in the morning, put the crock into the cooker and turn it on. When you get home food is ready! If you use a really big one like I do then you can have leftovers to freeze or take for lunch or eat another day.



"Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward".
~ Victor Kiam


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SHERRYWILSON's Photo SHERRYWILSON Posts: 2,596
11/1/12 12:08 A

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Thanks I'm trying to be more supportive to myself and my friends and stop worrying about my grown/adult children all we can do is try to tell and teach them right behaviors tell them to lose the bad behaviors my sons 20 lives At my home feels he don't have to say if he leaving don't say anything before leaving be gone 3-5 days then shows up I'm tired of the wondering or worrying about him when he does this it's usually not good for him or us but I try to talk to him but you never know how kids going to react I think they should respect us enough to say I'm going to stay at a friends place don't even tell us they either

Edited by: SHERRYWILSON at: 11/2/2012 (10:44)
I do the best I can from now on my life is mine I want to be a healthy nana I can only control that I'm back And I'm doing the done girl and I am going to be a turbo fire hottie with the blazing blue team i am a positive thoghtful person who cares about others And my family sherry wilson


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BEFIT020's Photo BEFIT020 Posts: 52,504
10/31/12 1:44 P

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You're doing something right, Sherrie! You're 10 lbs emoticon -- emoticon

I really have no answers for this. Not everyone will be supportive of everything you do. There will be obstacles, negative people in life. You just have to do what's right for YOU.

Michele
Decide! Commit!! SUCCEED!!!





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SHERRYWILSON's Photo SHERRYWILSON Posts: 2,596
10/31/12 9:53 A

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I'm in a similar situation and my husband gets offended if I don't eat with him he gets off at 4 pm ok here where my lunch time starts at work at 4 or sometimes 3 but the sad true reality of it I can't eat healthy after I get home it's 8:30 I don't want to cook after I get off work but my son and husband both refuse to cook for themselves I stay stressed out over my house work never ending and no support or help other than to quit my job I shouldn't have to quit my job just because it make my husband feel like I'm screwing him out of his taxes our kids are grown all 3 are 18 and older so he thinks I should work for him to get his taxes back that he pays in he don't understand the tax stuff and I don't know enough to explain it the right way



But my husband has issues if I don't eat with him it's manipulation I know it just cause he had me eat so much while I was pregnant cause I was underweight before i ate so much I gained over 50 pounds each child I never lost it I found out years later he thought if he made me fat people wouldn't want me ok this was a thing in his head but he was finally honest with me about it but he wants me fat his term (it don't offend me but if it offends someone else sorry not intended for it to) no matter what I do he just won't help me lose just for his selfish ways that hurts I thought truly it was for my babies nourishment but now I'm stick in certain fried foods that's the bad thing

I do the best I can from now on my life is mine I want to be a healthy nana I can only control that I'm back And I'm doing the done girl and I am going to be a turbo fire hottie with the blazing blue team i am a positive thoghtful person who cares about others And my family sherry wilson


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LYNDALOVES2HIKE's Photo LYNDALOVES2HIKE Posts: 38,258
9/9/12 9:01 P

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My husband eats a lot of things I would rather not have in the house and prefers meals that I don't want to eat. The way we handle it is that I fix what I want to eat and if he wants something different, he's on his own - not very helpful for others, I guess, but my husband is retired so has more time to fiddle with his meals than if he was working full-time and coming home late. As for the chocolates, when people give me things like that, I say 'thank you' and then give them away to someone else or even donate to a homeless shelter. It's hard for me to have them around and I probably WOULD eat them all at once or at least would eat too much too fast - so better for me to get them out of reach.

Sorry you have to put up with this but hope you find a solution soon!


Lynda in Orange County, So Calif

***********************

God Grant me Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to Change the things I can and Wisdom to Know the difference!

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. -- John Wooden

"Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit."
GARELLK's Photo GARELLK SparkPoints: (0)
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9/9/12 3:10 P

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I would suggest you need to set down over a nice healthy meal with your husband and explain to him how much this means to you. Let him know that you love that he thinks of you enough to buy you a box of candy, but explain to him that having candy in the house just tempts you too much and ask him not to buy you candy, but perhaps buy you a nice card, flowers, or any other small inexpensive gift. Let him know that you love him, that when he had his heart attack 2 years ago, that it scared you and that someday you might have to live without him. Let him know that when you make "healthy" meals, you do that because you not only want to improve you health, but you want to improve his as well, so that you can enjoy a happy healthy life together for many more years. Often times, you just need to let him know just how much it means to you and that you wish he would understand and to help be more supportive.

Kari - Virginia - Eastern


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BEFIT020's Photo BEFIT020 Posts: 52,504
9/8/12 1:40 P

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I don't really have a non-supportive husband, just one who didn't understand why I was trying to lose weight/eat healthy. He had a heart attack 2 yrs ago so he gets it now. He's not over-weight, by any stretch of the imagination, either.

I happen to LOVE tofu and eat a LOT of it. I know this isn't a good answer but it's the only one I have. Make your meals your way and his meals his way. I know--pain in the butt. But it'll stop a lot of the comments and eye-rolling. Sometimes some people just won't get on board no matter what you do or say. Why make yourself miserable?

As for the goodies--either portion them out(which I CAN'T do-one leads to another & another...) or toss them. Or give them to your neighbor, friend, co-worker, etc.



Michele
Decide! Commit!! SUCCEED!!!





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13610511's Photo 13610511 Posts: 1,078
9/8/12 1:14 P

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I am struggling with a non-supportive spouse and need some help coping with it. I have lost 30 pounds and need to lose 15 more. I eat healthy, make healthy meals which he sometime turns his nose up at. He comes home late from work every night, and likes to have dinner really late, like 8pm, which is too late for me. He brings junk food and alcohol into the house, which I try to avoid.

He went on a business trip and brought me home a gift, a box of chocolates and box of chocolate truffles. Yep, two boxes of chocolate and I reminded him that I am trying to lose weight. He said, just don't eat them all at once.

I know that it is up to me to decide what I put in my mouth, and that it is my decision and journey to be more healthy.

I have started having dinner earlier without him if he is not home by 6:30 or 7, and then hope he will eat what I have prepared.

I am getting really frustrated and need to somehow either get over this or get around it somehow.

Do any of you SparkPeople member have any tips, ideas, recommendations to help me?





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