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SUSMANNIE's Photo SUSMANNIE Posts: 873
9/20/18 12:47 P

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Day 92 - How not to maintain
Monday, September 17, 2018

Consider all the things that cause you not to maintain or stay on your diet plan. Then flip the list by stating each item in a positive way. Remind yourself that you absolutely do know how to maintain your weight.

1. Make a list of behaviors and activities that might cause you to gain weight back.

Eating unplanned snacks while prepping dinner.
Foraging cashews after dinner.
Running to the vending machine at work when stressed out.


2. Flip each item by stating it in a positive way or one that would help you maintain.

I can save my raw vegetable snack for when I hit the kitchen after work.
I can drink tomato juice or water.

If it's not planned, I don't eat it.
Can I really be hungry at 8:45 pm when I finished dinner 20 minutes ago?

I am not really hungry when stressed. I am looking to use the food to soothe myself. I do not need the food. I can manage with a piece of fruit or a cup of green tea.

3. Put three things from your list into action today. Record the outcome.

I did not shake down the vending machine today when I arrived at work w/out my laptop after my telecommute day. I went home, got said machine, and drove back through rush hour traffic and blinking schoolbuses. I felt a little stressed, but nowhere near what I might have experienced in the past. I said to myself, "So what! __ happens, I'm not going to make it worse by punishing myself."


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9/13/18 10:14 A

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Day 88 - Junk in the backyard
Thursday, September 13, 2018

Digging around in junk every day doesn't make you better. If you need to, once in a while go look into the backyard and say, "Yes, that's a lot of junk!" Then leave it there, close the door, and go back to your flowers.

1. Create a short list of junk items or events in your "backyard."

Sadness about my painful childhood
Anger at my parents for not taking care of me better
The emotional debris of depression and bad experiences that sprang from this

2. Write the words, "That's all junk and I'm leaving it there."

THAT'S ALL JUNK AND I'M LEAVING IT THERE!

3. Create a list of flowers or beautiful things in your front yard.

I have 3 things I thought I'd never attain in life:

A wonderful husband
A home of our own
A job that I like where I feel comfortable and that challenges me

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9/11/18 10:28 A

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Day 86 - Talk to the bear
Tuesday, September 11, 2018
You can actually use a teddy bear or other stuffed animal to help you heal. Instead of keeping thoughts and sadness inside, you can share them with this friend.

1. Choose a favorite stuffed animal to talk to about your thoughts and feelings.

2. Plan a time when you can be alone and have a visit with this friend.

3. Sit with the friend and talk through anything you wish. It might be related to a loss, but could also be about current frustrations or needs. Record how that went.

I spoke to the bear (silently) about how my occasional low mood has to do with being in my early 60's and seeing things and people that were the "status quo" changing and leaving. Going to a financial planner for hopeful retirement with my husband hit me too. Most of my work friends are retired. Instead of people's parents dying, now I hear at work of people's spouses dying.

I lost a brother two years ago. His extended family was where my husband and I got a sense of family on the holidays, and that is gone now. (I try to create our own celebration and rituals now).

He's the brother who dragged me away from the railing roller skating as a child and made me face not holding onto anything. He's the brother who saw that I got a puppy when our family situation at home was bad when I was growing up. I miss him, and his passing seemed to indicate a new older phase in my life. Losses and adjustments.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 9/11/2018 (10:29)
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9/6/18 2:30 P

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Day 81 - Problem or predicament
Thursday, September 06, 2018

Instead of wasting energy or eating over situations that aren't going to change, learn to identify the problems inside a predicament.

With each of those problems, take action in places where it will make a difference..

1. Identify a couple of predicaments in your life that won't change quickly.

-I have limited time due to work obligations
-I spend all my time in the kitchen from 4pm until 6:30-7 when my husband gets home prepping food
-I have "no time" for exercise, housecleaning, and painting/drawing, reading (me time)

2. Below each predicament, figure out a few specific problems.

-I feel stressed out, still procrastinate in getting things done: (medical checkups, attention to budget, filing the Paper Blob hovering around my desk.
-I wake up at 3am with my mind flooding with details, things weighing on me.

3. Create action steps for each problem. Put some of them in place today.

-I am trying to make foods ahead and use quick meal solutions.
-I am following advice from a podcast on change: do something totally different than your usual way of doing things. Once a day. "What can I do differently today?" What rut am I currently in?
-Took a stack of folders and categorized the Paper Blob. Doesn't have to be perfect, just has to be findable and OFF my back.
-Trying to structure my time, using a scheduling notebook.
-Have taken care of most medical appts now.

Things are not as complicated as I make them! My mind is tripping me up. Stop thinking everything to death!


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 9/6/2018 (14:33)
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9/5/18 8:53 P

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Day 80 - too comfortable

1. List the fears you have about dieting or losing weight.

I wonít have the freedom to eat whatever whenever. Iíll be overwhelmed with anxiety and have no way to control it. I wonít be able to enjoy eating.

Now, I know that this freedom is more like being enslaved and miserable, and that Iíd have indigestion from overeating. I felt the opposite of empowered. I enjoy eating more when I am actually hungry.

2. Label today as the day you "hit bottom." Write about what that feels like.

I remember at my highest weight hoping there would be no family parties, as I was ashamed of how I looked. I felt bloated and unable to tear myself away from my various food addictions.

It's time to stop letting myself be "too comfortable" and push forward to accomplish my goals.

3. Describe what actions you'll take today to move yourself past being too comfortable.

Do Spark Coach and log in my food. Walk during work break.


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SWEETENUFGILL's Photo SWEETENUFGILL Posts: 18,358
9/4/18 10:44 A

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Those sound like positive moves. Well done!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
SUSMANNIE's Photo SUSMANNIE Posts: 873
9/4/18 10:19 A

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Day 78 - Self-sabotage
Monday, September 03, 2018

You may need to ask yourself some hard questions about what's keeping you from being successful.

Overcoming self-sabotage requires building a trust that you will be strong and safe at any weight.

1. Identify places in life where you might be sabotaging yourself.

I skip doing my physical therapy exercises, procrastinating. I don't log in my food every day. Or my activity. I eat in the kitchen while prepping food.

2. Make a list of things you are fearful of or that might not be good when you reach your goal weight.

I can't imagine it. Is difficult to see as attainable.

3. Plan ways to manage each of the things on your list.

I reset my alarm in the morning 20 minutes earlier so I can do exercises first thing.

I can make sure I have a bottle of water in the kitchen, and/or tomato juice and raw veggies. Go to these. Or a sliced apple.

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8/29/18 1:02 P

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Day 72 - Renew your vision

1. Create a vision in the space below. Add images and words that show the outcomes you want.

I want to be rid of the extra weight, confident and happy.

2. Describe how you will feel when you reach these outcomes.

Happy with myself, strong.

3. Review your vision at the end of the day and record your response to it.

Missed a couple of days. Feel slammed by work/home routine after vacation. Yesterday felt depressed, so I sat in my car during lunch and mapped out my feelings that I was trying not to feel. This was helpful.





Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/29/2018 (13:16)
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8/24/18 11:51 A

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Day 68 - Guilt is not an emotion
Friday, August 24, 2018

The next time you feel guilty about something, ask yourself, "If I wasn't feeling guilty, what would I be feeling?"

1. Write down some times when you might say you feel guilty about something.

Yesterday I went to a retirement lunch, and the office supplied heroes. I had the vegetarian option, which didn't satisfy me. I ended up later eating the lunch I had brought in, not realizing there was a lunch. Then I had a piece of the cake, which I usually manage to avoid.

I feel guilty about this.

2. Ask yourself, "If I wasn't feeling guilty, what would I be feeling? Make a list.

With eating struggles, I would be feeling...
Tired
Overwhelmed
Needing some breathing space
Panicky
Needing comfort

3. Decide how you can catch yourself using the word guilty and instead, identify your real feelings.

I've been working at my current job for 18 years. Like a family here. Have seen people come and go. I've reached the age where retirements affect me emotionally.

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8/23/18 2:20 P

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Day 67 - Let it go
Thursday, August 23, 2018

Recognize areas where you are holding a hot coal, and make a conscious decision to let go of it. Work on healing your heart, and you'll probably find that eating to punish someone else will stop as well.

1. Identify a situation or event where you've had trouble letting go of your feelings.

I still hang on to some resentment over the way I grew up bullied and in the shadow of my mentally ill brother, and suffering from depression starting about 13. I could not be me. That my parents let this happen to me and did nothing to help me.

2. Consider the benefits of holding onto your anger, sadness or other emotions.

I guess I started eating in an unhealthy way at about that age in order to stuff my feelings. Very dysfunctional, but like a security blanket, I keep reaching for it.

3. Decide that it's time to let go of those feelings and heal your heart. Write about this.

The sad thing about a security blanket is that when you have one, you see little else.

I went through therapy in my twenties, but life experience away from my family of origin has been the ultimate therapy. That and the gifts of meeting my husband and finding the job I now have. My parents are gone and my brother is "out there somewhere" but not in my life. I haven't seen him since the mid-1980's. I have good things in my life now, and sometimes it's hard to accept that I deserve this, because of my difficult early life.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/23/2018 (14:33)
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8/22/18 3:26 P

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Day 66 - Kicking kettles
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
During times when we're hurting or feeling weak and vulnerable, it's easy to think that eating will fix the problem. But instead of reaching for ice cream or cookies, during difficult times, pull out your tools for nurturing and self-care and make them a part of your day.

1. Recall a time when strong emotions made you want to eat.

I seem to have a lot of emotions early in the day at work that make me ďhungryĒ. This didnít happen last week when I was home on staycation.

2. Identify the feelings that were prompting your desire for food.

At times, I feel...

Bored
Frustrated
Angry
Disgusted
Jaded

3. Create a short list of things you could have done instead of eating.

Focus on the fact that I like the mechanics of the job. The technical work I do is like doing puzzles.

(The fact that a lot of people I enjoyed have retired, and the continuing, ever-changing interpersonal dynamics with ever-changing people at work is at this point, tiresome to me.)

Listen to podcasts
Participate in Spark
Write my Spark blog
Figure out how to motivate myself again
Stop and visit my sis-in-law
Make nice meals for my husband and me
Take time to draw, maybe at lunch?
Walk during my breaks


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8/18/18 5:34 P

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Day 62 - Revive your emotions
Saturday, August 18, 2018

Recovering your feelings doesnít mean you have to start pounding your fists and screaming. You simply need to move out of the neutral zone and rebuild your enthusiasm for life.

1. Identify a situation where you might be using food to avoid difficult emotions.

I was upset when my manager seemed angry when I asked for an additional day off in August. And it seemed like others were picking up a day here and there with no problem. Iím sure this had something to do with my visit to the office vending machine later.

2. Consider ways to revive those emotions in healthy ways. Record your thoughts.

It would definitely not have be to my advantage to react to her response. Later on I realized that she feels very pressured, and that I am a key player and am capable of producing a lot of work and do work on a higher level than some others.

I realized I was allowing it to eat at me and make me feel resentful, and that was emotional baggage I did not need. So I let it go.

3. Identify other places or situations where you try to avoid feeling, then create a plan for changing these patterns.

My big thing is not having confidence in myself, a remnant of a difficult childhood and a bullying brother. I feel like everything is all too much for me, I canít possibly do things right, and I am just about hopeless. When I see how others react to me, I see this competent, talented, smart woman. I donít always own this.

When I was a child, I was ďgiftedĒ, according to the school psychologist, yet my mother had to buy me loafers because I didnít know how to tie my shoes. I felt it was too difficult. !!! Same with learning how to roller skate and ride a bike. Just too ponderous. I had no self confidence or belief in my own abilities. That little girl is still lurking inside me, thinking I canít do well or try anything new.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/18/2018 (17:35)
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8/17/18 2:32 P

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Day 61 - The emotional box
Friday, August 17, 2018

Facing your emotions doesn't have to destroy you. When you take your feelings out of the dark, it makes them less scary.

You may discover that your grief, anger, and even bitterness aren't as intense as you remembered.

1. Describe how you showed your emotions as a child. Did you laugh easily? Cry hard?

I was a lot more serious as a child. I cried with gusto.
Growing up my ďunusualĒ, aka offbeat sense of humor developed. I enjoy making people laugh now. In college I was told by friends that I should do stand up comedy.

I learned to submerge and bury my feelings and take care of (isolate) myself. Problem is, this does not promote emotional health.

Itís been a long road, but I try to understand myself and become more authentic and in touch with my feelings day by day.

I found that going on a strict Keto diet unleashed a lot of anxiety and hard to control emotions. Have been following a mostly vegan diet now. Is kinder to my body and mind.

2. Identify common times when you eat instead of labeling or expressing your feelings.

When I get to work at 7:30 am. Feel anxious over volume of work and the need to push myself to crank it out.

When I get home from work. Feel like I want to get a million things done, but am tired and time is limited.

When I feel bored, tired, out of sorts, angry or in need of comfort.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/17/2018 (14:43)
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8/16/18 9:46 P

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Day 60 Being kind

I do this. When I see someone who is losing weight at work, I comment on it and tell them how good they look.



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SUSMANNIE's Photo SUSMANNIE Posts: 873
8/15/18 5:11 P

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1. Identify a recent time when you couldn't get enough of something you needed.
Stumped again. I canít ever seem to get enough personal time. We had friends who moved out of state, or died, and havenít made new friends to socialize with. I suggested a church such as Unitarian, but we agreed that we donít have time.

2. Write a list of specific needs related to that time or event.
I am stumped.


3. Write a plan for how you can take care of your needs when there isn't enough.
I feel like a broken record. Paint, draw, write. Spark.
Just being kind to myself.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/15/2018 (17:12)
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8/15/18 9:21 A

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58 Grieve

1. Identify a life change or event that caused you to grieve your progress.

Stumped, only thing I can think to write about:
I have to be on medication for depression. Traumatic childhood, mental illness in sibling, how I reacted. On meds for forty years now. Tried getting off at age 30, not so good.

When drug company quadrupled cost of drug Iíd been on, and I tried to cut back, was disastrous how bad I felt. Had grown complacent feeling okay for years and forgot how bad I could feel. Felt that the advancements Iíd made emotionally were just due to medication working.

2. Make a list of the losses or things you left behind with this event.

Worked with doctor and found less costly drug.
Acknowledged that my own self care was crucial, in addition to medical issue and need for meds.
Began implementing self care.
Acknowledging as a setback, not a failure.

3. Now create a list of ways you can replace those things in healthy ways.

Become more aware of how I can care for myself more fully.

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8/13/18 9:50 A

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1. Create a challenge list to use next time you feel bored. Include things that will give you meaning or deepen your knowledge and skills.

keep a sketchbook available
Sit downstairs at drafting table for half an hour and let it flow
Follow Flylady and develop cleaning routines
Listen to podcasts that stretch my mind
Continue to culture my safe places

2. Do at least one of the things on your list today.



3. Record how that worked and whether it helped you avoid food temptations.


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/13/2018 (09:53)
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8/10/18 12:57 P

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Day 54 - Please comfort me
Friday, August 10, 2018

Even if you've been an emotional eater for years, you aren't stuck with these negative patterns.

As you discover new ways to cope with your emotional needs, you'll move toward a sense of peace with food--a feeling you may have forgotten existed.

1. Recall a recent time when food helped you feel comforted or secure. Describe it.

When I had a biopsy at the dermatologist and he said it looked like cancer, but don't worry. "It's nothing." The word cancer is worrying. It turned out benign. But I worried like crazy, and the "I'm getting older and everything is changing" syndrome snuck in. Downward spiral.

Stopped at local grocery for bananas one day that week and a young guy in a truck zoomed out of his parking space and almost crashed into me, giving me a rude look on top of it. I was just going for bananas, but got small packet homemade style choc chip cookies too, and inhaled them. It made me feel better.

2. Come up with at least two or three things you could have done instead of eating.

I could have gone home and walked around the condos.
I could have done some yoga when I got home.
I could have eaten one cookie and brought the 2 others home to my husband.
I could have told myself how grateful I was that at least I know how to drive in a parking lot safely.

Year ago, I used some visualization tapes that had you picture things such as sitting beside a calm stream or looking at the sky on a starry night. These activities were very calming and helped me deal with a lot of things in life.

3. Write a plan about how you'll use one of those items the next time you need comfort.

I have some materials like that. When I walk outside at work, I stay in my own little world by listening to a Jon Kabat Zinn walking meditation.

If I get into a "The Millennials are Horrible Drivers" and nerves feel jangled from the aggressive drivers of all ages, I will take some deep breaths and focus on relaxing. I will tell myself not to be angry, and that they will be older one day too. If they learn how to drive better, that is. !!!!

I will listen to my apps and recordings on meditation and alleviating bad feelings.


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/10/2018 (13:08)
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8/9/18 12:50 P

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Day 53 - Taking care of needs
Thursday, August 09, 2018

Identifying what you need won't always stop you from emotional eating, at least it will help you see the connection of how food takes care of you.

1. Write the words, "What do I need?" Then make a list of your needs. Keep asking the question, "What else do I need?" until you have at least ten things.

What do I need?

Take charge of finances
Begin scheduling artist time
*Manage time to allow time off on weekend
*Do one thing "opposite" every day to break bad habits
Take charge of home cleaning
Give myself some credit for things done well
Learn to find a balance of apathy/withdrawal as opposed to overinvolvement and overconcern with job

2. Put a check mark or star by the ones that are most important right now.

Is hard to choose. These speak to different parts of me.

*Manage time to allow time off on weekend
*Do one thing "opposite" every day to break bad habits

I picked these because they provide the most change and encompass the others. I get stressed out from never doing anything fun and working all the time.

"Opposite Day" is a concept I came across. It's a day when kids say and do the opposite of what they usually do with their parents. The way I interpret it is to pick one meaningless habit that no longer makes sense. Do the exact opposite.

For instance, I have been eating too many snacks in the morning. So today I will not eat any. Not until 10am. (I am up 5 hours then already)

I have been coming home and going directly to the kitchen. I say I will do my back exercises in a few minutes, but I sometimes skimp on these or barely get to them.

On Opposite Day, I will get changed, go down into basement, do stretches and part of yoga dvd. Then 10 minutes on stationary bike.


3. Choose one thing from your list and do something today that will help take care of that need.

To manage time better, I am going to rely more on prepared and easy meals. Making a menu/shopping list.



"Bloom Where You Are Planted"
(1 Corinthians 7:20Ė24)

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/9/2018 (14:23)
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8/8/18 12:30 P

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Day 52 - The food fix
Wednesday, August 08, 2018

As you work on identifying your needs, don't get stuck by saying, "I can't do anything about that!"

Right now, your task is to figure out exactly what is contributing to your emotional eating.

1. Look back at the list of needs you made yesterday. Now add a list of deeper needs such as better self-esteem or more motivation.

--Noticed a fearfulness about getting older since I lost my oldest brother.
Dread doctor appts, and thought of losing more people.
This makes me want to eat.

--My poor little cat has a bad heart, and vet says she is at high risk for sudden heart failure. Very attached to our pet. Giving her drugs, and she seems okay for now, but it makes me want to eat.

--Feel overwhelmed by prospect of eventual retirement, visits to financial planners cause me a lot of anxiety. Feel like I should have been more on top of this all along. Don't know who to trust, if anyone. Must read up.

But I did make some changes in investments after a visit some years ago, which increased my income. One of my organizations bonuses is to give 10% of an employee's salary every year to a retirement account. I was smart enough to want the job just because of this, though I started out proofreading author names on manuscripts, which was deadly dull. It worked out, I got a better job, and am making 2.5 times as much annually as when I started 18 years ago.

--Feel overwhelmed by my job. Production-oriented, high volume, mismanaged staff. When you do a job well, you get more and more and more work. This one leaving on medical leave, this one retiring, another moving to Florida in a month.

Scared of how stressed out I became a few months ago. People come and go and misspell monosyllabic words in the work chat, making me wonder if they were paying attention in the first grade, or if they advanced any further from that point. (I correct coworkers errors, too, as part of my job, and come up with some wingdings.)

Realize this is my "gifted child" surfacing, and that maybe my standards are a little high. Most of my department coworkers had no college, and have been working since graduating high school at the same place.

--I need to feel that I can manage stress better, or learn to manage it.

2. For each of these deeper needs, note the times when you use food to fix them.

First thing in the morning, sometimes eating several snacks with my coffee.
In the kitchen, nibbling when I cook.
Driving home from work, with Carvel Ice Cream calling for me to stop and get one.


3. Choose one of those needs and create an action plan for taking care of it without food.

Walking during my break has helped.
Becoming more fit will help with fear of ageing.
I have some resources and apps to listen and destress with, plus my sound canceling headphones which I love and practically cherish. :)
Concentrate on a task-oriented approach to work. Do not think about anything else. Not my job.

Just breathe. Like my FitBit says!


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/8/2018 (12:52)
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8/7/18 12:41 P

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Tuesday, August 07, 2018
Identifying what you need won't always stop you from emotional eating, at least it will help you see the connection of how food takes care of you.

1. Write the words, "What do I need?" Then make a list of your needs. Keep asking the question, "What else do I need?" until you have at least ten things.

What do I need?

Blocks of time for myself
A home that hugs me, to quote FlyLady
To feel secure about my financial future
Once, if not twice a day: my back stretches
To spend time being an artist

2. Put a check mark or star by the ones that are most important right now.

Cleaning up my home would make me feel better about myself
Back stretches are essential. When I am in pain, my mood drops very low
Being an artist (canít leave that out)

3. Choose one thing from your list and do something today that will help take care of that need.

Tonight I will do my stretches the minute I get home. Double reps.

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8/6/18 8:59 P

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Day 50- Mah Bucket-Yeesh!

I filled this out twice and erased it today. I sounded so negative. Iím hard on myself and very sensitive. My emotional bucket has a leak on a good day.

I had a difficult day. Nothing catastrophic, minor things, but since I changed my diet participating in a diet program last fall, I no longer anesthetize my feelings with food and am trying to deal with the uncut, uncookied and uncandybar-buried me. Itís exhausting.

Things that empty my bucket:

Feeling overwhelmed by time constraints
Feeling chronically anxious

Things that fill my emotional bucket:

Browsing ebooks in the e-library. I used to like the real library, the entire experience, but donít go there much any more. Been a library rat since a little girl. Love books and new ideas.

Writing out my thoughts

Getting involved in creating art

Spending time with my husband and our cat

Visiting my sister-in-law

Cooking and learning new plant based meals

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/6/2018 (21:02)
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Day 49- Laugh away stress
Sunday, August 05, 2018

Set up a play date for yourself, just like parents do for their children. Your play date can be done alone or with other people.

Think about what would make you laugh, then plan something that will be fun and entertaining.

1. Create a plan for a play date for yourself, either alone or with another person.

Drive out east on Long Island with my husband and walk around, browse in little shops and eat lunch out. Bring our cameras. Buy ice cream cones.

2. Set a day and time for your play date and write down what you will do.

Week of August 13. We can take one day of our week off to do something fun. We spent our July week excavating some of the clutter and going to a financial planner.

3. Afterward, describe your play date and how it helped you relax, laugh and have fun.

Itís hard to think of something immediate. I sat with my husband and watched Sascha Baron Cohen of ďBorotĒ fame do a silly show where he pretended to be a character interviewing and interacting with others, mostly people his character was diametrically opposed to and he could outrageously offend. That made me laugh.

Wow, Iím a barrel of fun. Oh well.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/5/2018 (17:44)
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Day 48 - Stress is not life
Saturday, August 04, 2018

Think about what would happen if you broke your leg.

Now pick out a few of those demands and, using the broken leg approach, decide which activities are critical to keep and which ones you can let go.

1. Identify one area in life that tempts you to eat in response to stress.

Feeling overwhelmed by time constraints. Not being able to get done what I would like, which makes me feel inadequate.

2. Describe how you will cope with this this area differently due to your "broken leg."

I could make a list of what needs doing, do a brain dump on the page, then schedule the necessities. I could schedule time for myself and make that a priority.

3. Record ways your new plan helped you manage your stress without eating.

(Iím guessing) that the weight of all this self-judgment is exhausting me mentally. And that this is not a good thing.


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8/3/18 12:43 P

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Day 47 - Food replaces love
Friday, August 03, 2018

Instead of waiting for someone to show you love, try turning the tables and giving it out. Remember that you hold the power for your own nurturing and you donít have to use food to replace love.

1. Identify a holiday, birthday or event where you wait for someone to care about you.

Holidays were always difficult for me before I got married, late, at age 39. My brothers all have wives and children, and I was the odd (wo)man out. My husband and I decided to not have children, because we both have mental illness in our immediate families, and we were afraid of the genetics. Plus, having both survived these situations, we were content with a party of 2. Still are!

My parents are long gone, and we were included for years with my oldest brother's family celebrations, but after his passing 2 years ago, this is no more. My youngest brother is estranged from the family for 30 years, and my other brother lives out of state and has a wife who has made my husband and I feel unwelcome in their home. We just turned down an invitation to their youngest daughter's wedding, which makes me sad, but my husband doesn't feel comfortable around them.

So I try to make our solo celebrations special. Create traditions. Very grateful for him.

2. Plan ways you can show extra love and attention to others during this time.

I just try to make our own celebrations special. My husband's mother didn't give him much special treatment, and I try to take care of him.

I don't feel capable of having celebrations at my house, because entertaining makes me really nervous, and my house could be a lot cleaner.

3. Notice how it changes your desire to eat in order to cope. Record your response.

I have my life, and it is a good one. I feel very grateful for my current life.

(Right about now, I feel like eating a giant choc chip cookie. Sorry if this is TMI.)


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 8/3/2018 (13:12)
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8/2/18 11:44 A

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Day 46 - Disappointment
Thursday, August 02, 2018

Whenever you feel disappointed because something didn't go the way you wanted, look for the trade-off you got instead.

Instead of letting a disappointment pull you into despair, search for the trade-offs and give yourself a new perspective.


1. Write down a recent disappointment. It can be a small one or a larger, life disappointment.

I was disappointed in myself when I did a trial of ending my physical therapy for my bad back, skipping 2 weeks to see how I'd do. I need to end after 10 weeks because of my high copay. Had a relapse of back pain. Wasn't doing enough exercises.


2. Record your initial response, including whether it made you want to eat something.

I had a minor relapse of back pain, and it crashed my mood. I felt like it had all been for nothing. Either/or thinking, feeling like a victim. My husband pointed out that I'd had difficulty getting out of a chair when I began, and now am relatively pain free. And I've been educated in how to prevent this problem. I suppose it made me want to eat things I should not and I did a little of this.


3. Look for a "trade-off" or what you got instead. Describe this in detail.

I renewed my commitment to the exercise on my last visits and got some good instruction from therapist.

I figured out a few new ways to stretch my legs while sitting at work, and have pushed myself to walk more and use my standing desk more.

I signed up for the 3-month post physical therapy workout program, where you use their gym any time you want for much less money. I wasn't going to do this because I like going home right after work. But I need the support.

Made commitment to myself to alternate PT gym days with basement yoga dvd and stationary bike workout at home. Right after work.


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8/1/18 1:41 P

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Day 45: safe place

1. Write a plan for creating a safe place.

I need a place to do yoga and paint. The basement is where I can go. I have a drafting table, art supplies, a dvd player. computer and TV, plus a stationary bike.

2. Set up and personalize the area. Describe whatís in your safe place and how it looks.

It looks cluttered. I need to straighten out all the shelves full of stuff surrounding my area.

3. Spend at least ten minutes in your safe place today. Write about what you did and how it felt.


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7/31/18 12:04 P

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Day 44 - Food tracing
Tuesday, July 31, 2018

You may be surprised at what pops to mind when you look for the memories that hook you with your favorite food.

Food tracing will often reveal thoughts of better days when your needs for comfort, nurturing and happiness were met.

1. Choose a favorite food and write down times when you seem to crave it a lot.

Chocolate chip cookies, homemade or good bakery ones.

The mother of my best friend in grade school made chocolate chip cookies and served them to us with homemade iced tea in a glass pitcher with slices of lemon.

In my twenties, there was a local bakery in town that made wonderful cookies and brownies. I used to treat myself. Vivid memories of these.

My mother bought cookies. I ate these too. I remember a brand called "Almost Home", which were not even close, and how I joked with my nephew and called them "Almost 3 Mile Island" cookies. He loved this.

And of course, my quest for the "perfect" chocolate chip cookie recipe.

2. Close your eyes and mentally track backward to your earliest memories of eating this food. Describe the scene, then add the emotions you were feeling at that time.

I remember sitting at my childhood friend's table eating those cookies, glad I had a friend. I was tagged as a intellectually gifted child early on and was kind of different or maybe just unusual. Her house and whole neighborhood reminded me of the Andy Griffith Show, small town 1960's loveliness.

I felt like I was liked, cared for, and had someone to play with.

The cookies just triggered a sugar reaction in my brain that was like if I was a dog, I'd be having my belly rubbed.

3. Connect those emotions or needs to present times when you crave this food. Record your insights as well as some non-food ways to take care of these needs.

Mostly when I feel anxiety or some other unpleasant emotion. I want to distract myself, anesthetize myself, take myself to a happy moment, protected from whatever I don't want to feel or think about.


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/31/2018 (12:08)
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7/30/18 2:10 P

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1. List several favorite foods that often cause you problems or tempt you to overeat.

Homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies
Soft serve vanilla ice cream
Carrot cake with cream cheese icing
My homemade fresh peach pie in the summer (haven't made this in years)
Blueberry muffins

2. Recall events or places where you have eaten these foods, especially as a child. Describe the scenes, including the people you were with.

My mother was a cookie-rewarder. I specifically remember loving a pink marshmallow covered in coconut on a spongy vanilla cookie. I don't think it's made any more. Made me feel loved.

My dad used to take my brother and me out for an ice cream cone. At an old fashioned ice cream "parlor", as he called it. Double dip delivered by a soda jerk. Like they don't have any more. He worked 2 jobs so it was a special time for me.

My mother had a collection of Christmas cookie recipes collected from various sisters and relatives. Old World European style. I started making them for her when I was about 10 or 12, and continued until a few years ago. These are "legendary" in our family.I used to eat them until I felt sick while baking them. Couldn't do it any more.

I used to love baking and made all these and muffins and chocolate layer cake and apple pie and cheesecake and carrot cake. I no longer do this.

3. Identify one or two emotions that seem the strongest in each scene. Record your insights including times when that food connects to emotions now.

Being rewarded, being noticed. Immersing myself in creating delicious pastries, breads, pies, cookies. Very creative pastime, and it made people want to invite me for the holidays so I'd bring desserts. It's satisfying being excellent at something.

I don't bake any longer, since I find I am better avoiding sweets since I feel like an addict and don't like to be under the "influence" of sugar. I'm kind of sad, too. Since my parents are long gone, and my oldest brother passed away, there are no more family get-togethers like there were.

I try to create special holiday times with my husband just for us. Very lucky to have him!

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/30/2018 (14:25)
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7/30/18 6:22 A

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Yup, I got the message! Yes, it's important to enjoy our food.
emoticon

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
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7/29/18 9:10 P

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Hi Gil,
I donít know if youíll get this message but..
I try now to always eat food I like. Iím mostly plant based now, and I am happier this way. I used to force myself to follow a plan and deprive myself of foods I love. That doesnít work. And frankly, Iíd be very happy to never have another broiled chicken breast again!!

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7/29/18 9:05 P

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Day 42 - Food and fun
Sunday, July 29, 2018

When your life is stressful or unhappy, food makes the world more bearable. Later, when the painful realities of your life return, you simply eat again. You also may need to invent new ways to manage transitions in your day.

1. Identify places or times when food provides your main source of fun or entertainment

-when I am at work
-when I am at home
-when we eat out
-when we eat at home
Basically I use food a lot to entertain myself


2. Make a list of creative, non-food ways to have fun. Do one of them today.

Do yoga
Write in my SP blog
Listen to a good novel
Paint or draw
Listen to music and boogie around the house doing stuff

3. For situations where food provides a transition, invent ways to shake up your routine and follow a healthier pattern.

When I get home from work at 4pm and we are not eating dinner until 7 or 8 on a weeknight. I often feel like I need a break or treat.
-chew gum
-find music I can sing along to
-Drink herbal tea
-eat raw veggies and drink tomato juice

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/29/2018 (21:11)
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7/29/18 10:28 A

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"When I feel deprived by limiting my food intake."

yes, this one can be a biggie - I have sometimes found myself eating after an event where I've been aware of my limiting - even sometimes days later - as a kind of back-lash! Overall, I'm much better these days.

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
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7/28/18 7:48 P

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Day 41 - Food and feelings
Saturday, July 28, 2018

Emotional eating or using food as a friend happens to all of us at times. Keep learning how to identify and express your emotions rather than shoving them away with food.

1. List three of the most common times or situations where you do emotional eating.

-When tired and needing to work; either at work or home
-Feeling anxious makes me ďthinkĒ I am hungry but I eat to stuff my feelings and anesthetize myself. Also to cheer myself up, when I feel lonely, unfocused, or to comfort when picking on myself.
-When I feel deprived by limiting my food intake.

2. For each one, add details including what might be going on or causing you to eat.

-feeling fatigued may be a lack of water or exercise
-when I wait 10 minutes and shift focus and drink water, I find I wasnít really hungry
-by planning snacks that satisfy my hunger. 2 to 3 daily.

3. For each one, write a plan for how you can take care of the real issue instead of reaching for food. Watch for times to use this today.

Do a full body stretch and drink icy water
Plan to hold off for 10 minutes and take deep breaths
Seek variety and get some homemade cacao shakes and silken tofu chocolate mousse ready for treats/snacks




Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/28/2018 (20:00)
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7/27/18 12:31 P

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Day 40 - Believe in yourself
Friday, July 27, 2018

By making a few simple changes in your self-talk and your internal beliefs, you can improve your self-esteem almost immediately.

1. In the space below, write the words ďI am valuable.Ē

I AM VALUABLE!

2. Consider ways you can restore your belief in your own value. Describe them.

-Setting smaller goals that I can accomplish:
I had no snacks today until 10 am. I was gobbling them down when I got to work.
(I Can Do This)!

-I have the ability to learn and teach myself things at my job, a trait which not all my coworkers share.
Continue expanding awareness and learning about myself. Step away from any dysfunctional toxicity I may be carrying due to my family of origin.
(I am my own person now, I am smart, and have the capacity to see more clearly and change)

3. Do at least one action today that will demonstrate your sense of value and self-worth. Record what you did.

Not eating the snacks (ALL of them) by 9am. This is anxiety, not hunger.

Going to reset my program in SP AGAIN. I am making a much smaller goal, maybe ten pounds. The larger goal becomes abstract and undoable in my mind.

I called and scheduled some appointments I needed. I hate doing this.
(I feel a little lighter now)

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/27/2018 (12:33)
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7/26/18 2:18 P

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Day 39

1. Create two positive statements to use for your self-talk.

I am stronger than I think and have handled many difficult life situations.
I am intelligent and well spoken.

2. Write them on a card or piece of paper, then post them where you can read them often.

Did this and posted them by my computer.

3. Live as if these statements are true, then record your response.


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/26/2018 (14:23)
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7/25/18 11:52 A

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Day 38 - Emotional cold

Learn to recognize the symptoms and start treating it right away.

Feeling this way after returning from vacation. Wish I could be retired.

1. Create a first-aid kit for the next time you get an emotional cold.

Chai Tea with soymilk and stevia
Spotify: listen to Rock and Roll Anthems Play List
Wash and blow dry hair before going to work
A big bag of fresh cut vegetables, endless munching without guilt
Cuddle with cat

2. Write a list of things you can do to help you recover when one hits.

Get to bed earlier
Start walking after work (with my husband?)
Schedule time drawing as though it were an appointment
Use sketchbook I brought to work
Focus on SparkPeople and making changes.

3. Do one of the thing on your list today. It might help prevent you from getting an emotional cold.


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/25/2018 (12:10)
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7/25/18 11:41 A

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Day 37 - I'm not done yet

What are some areas where you aren't done yet? Start building your list, then figure out the action steps it will take to continue making progress on those areas.

1. Identify at least three things or life areas you aren't done with yet.

-My artwork: I must MAKE time. I am neglecting my soul.

-Getting my home nicer to be in: clean, clutter free

-Learning more about nutrition and health

-Becoming more practiced and learning more about plant based eating

-Keeping my bad back flexible and pain free.


2. Decide on steps you can take today on each of these items.

My first response is TODAY? I work from home today, then I have physical therapy, then home to make dinner and unches/snacks for tomorrow.

-I can take 10 minutes downstairs to draw during my half hour lunch
-I can pick up the bathroom, cut the tags off the new rugs, and vacuum.
-I can listen to nutrition podcasts while I work
-I already put beans and tomato sauce in slow cooker, and pre-roasted little potatoes to go with them for tonight.
-I am watching a yoga for back care video while I work.

3. With each of those actions, record that you've completed them.



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7/23/18 2:56 P

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Create a list of your strengths.

Hold tightly to the belief that you have these strengths, even during times when you don't feel them or do them.

1. In the space below, write "My strengths, even if I don't always believe them or do them."

MY STRENGTHS, EVEN IF I DON'T ALWAYS BELIEVE THEM OR DO THEM.

2. Then using the categories of physical attributes, skills and abilities, and personality traits, create a list of your strengths.

Physical attributes: Nice eyes, was pretty as a young woman, guess I'm okay now still, interesting blend of European Italian/German looks, strong, muscular, athletic.

Skills and abilities: Bright (was tagged a gifted child at one time), artistically gifted, detail-oriented, pretty big vocabulary! Good speller! Very good home cook. Was a pretty accomplished seamstress in younger days, used to make my own clothing.

Personality traits: Sensitive to others, caring, good sense of humor and good at making people laugh.

3. When you finish your list read it out loud. Write a note about how this feels.

It makes me feel good.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/23/2018 (14:56)
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7/23/18 2:22 P

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1. Decide when you'll do a renewal walk. Allow plenty of time to focus on details.

Did not do this yesterday. Was highly focused on straightening out drawers/shelves.
Sat in my car after lunch today. Open windows. I work surrounded by woods. Breathed in deeply.

2. Record what you noticed or experienced with each of your five senses.

Eyes - saw a tangle of branches and undergrowth
Ears - mostly quiet, peaceful
Smell - summery, humid
Taste - was drinking a frozen coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Bad sleep last night. Heavenly indulgence.
Touch - The air was so warm I could almost touch it

3. Write notes about how your energy and your inner spirit felt after the renewal walk.

Human again. Was feeling wiped out. Maybe the frozen coffee had a lot to do with it. I don't usually indulge, but felt like I needed it to function.


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7/21/18 4:12 P

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1. Write a list of things that currently give you meaning in your life

I enjoy working with scientists from around the globe. Nice being around those with high ideals, as opposed to advertising and marketing people, whom I worked with earlier in life, and whose values made me cringe.

Sharing my odd duck life with my odd duck spouse. Very grateful I met him 24 years ago.

Spending time with our furbaby cat Mia. Sheís very sweet.

Learning about plant-based eating and lifestyle, and reading cookbooks. Trying recipes.

2. Decide where you can add more things or cultivate the ones you have

I keep a sketchbook at my work desk and have spent lunch time sketching plants, animals, and people from photos found online. Do more of this?

I enjoy writing and have often thought of writing and illustrating a picture book featuring my Italian immigrant grandfatherís story. I have started collecting a photo file of turn of century: 19th to 20th centuries, of immigrant photos and NYC from that period, where he worked as a tailor.

Make time to view and practice along with yoga videos.

Walk after work wth my husband.

3. Do at least one activity that builds your sense of meaning. Record what you did.

Will return.
Went to basement drafting table. Found online image of young deer looking out, framed by green plants Blocked in a beginning pencil sketch of this.

Am thinking smaller, maybe a series of drawings about Grandpa Pete. Relating to stories he told me. When orphaned and sent to the monastery to live with monks. Hiding in fig tree and throwing figs at them as they walked to mass. Apprenticed to a tailor who travelled town to town with donkey and sewing machine.


Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/22/2018 (08:25)
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7/21/18 3:43 P

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Hi Gill, thanks for commenting. I was surprised at how incomfortable the task made me feel. But forging onward... Iíve only made art for myself. I did get a degree in art/design and want to spend more time with making art.

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7/21/18 2:03 A

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Great to see you jumping in. I found this a difficult activity too. Day 34 is challenging as well.
Lovely that you paint. Do you sell your artwork?

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
s.asp


Body Thrive - Autumn 2019 Anchor statement "I live a courageous life with energy and confidence"
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7/20/18 12:49 P

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Have felt baffled by the whole team format in previous teams, but I'm taking some time to figure it out.

Jumping in to day 33: Create some joy

What I Love

1. Painting and drawing
2. Cooking and learning more about vegan cuisine
3. Doing yoga
4. Reading for fun
5. Spending time with my husband
6. Stopping to visit my sister-in-law Sonia
7. Watching a good sci-fi flick
8. Seeing relatives (some of them)
9. Singing along with music
10. Paying attention to our cat Mia
11. Spending day out east on Long Island with my husband
12. Reading for information to stretch my mind

I can't think of anything else. How sad is that? Oh well. I'm sort of a loner and don't spend a lot of time socializing. My work friends have retired. Following a death in the family 2 years ago, I don't see as much of extended family, though I miss (some of) them. I work full time and (attempt to) play catch up the rest of the time. How dreary am I?

The thing I love is being an artist and I don't have time for this. Wow, did this topic hit a nerve!

(Sorry, to anyone who might read this)

Ughhh.. Came back to finish list.

13. my husband's fresh ground very delicious coffee
14. Tropical Smoothie Cafe
15. Panera for dinner soup/salad
16. Used to like (going to Manhattan for art museums)
17. Going walking at Avalon, a park near us.
18. Having an uncluttered desk and the mind to match
19. Buying treats for my husband
20. Eating breakfast out

Whew. I love painting and eating.

Edited by: SUSMANNIE at: 7/20/2018 (13:37)
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