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PEDODGEBALL's Photo PEDODGEBALL Posts: 413
4/27/10 9:40 A

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Melissa,
I to went through an outpatient program for 4 weeks that taught me DBT skills. It was very helpful although I am not back at work yet. I know that time will tell and that I will know when I can go back. I am a teacher and the students deserve me at my best. I am still working with my therapist on some really difficult issues.
Glad to hear you are better, keep working the skills!!!!

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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,689)
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4/26/10 7:46 P

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Glad to hear that you're doing so well, Melissa. You will be gorgeous at your wedding.

LAURIE, NYC

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COTTRELL11's Photo COTTRELL11 Posts: 1,552
4/26/10 6:53 P

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Congratulations on taking good care of yourself. I, too, use the Linehan DBT skills, and they have helped me for four years now. I wish you some respite from the nightmares. Also it is nice to hear good news about your job.
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Never, never, never, never give up..


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MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/26/10 9:41 A

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Thanks Nancy, I also still have my job. They were much more understanding than I could have imagined. I'm glad that I went and got some help. It's changed my entire life in such a short time... when I let go of the anger and (most of) the anxiety, things just went back to being good.

~*Melissa*~


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NANCYLEE46's Photo NANCYLEE46 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/26/10 9:34 A

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emoticon MEL and emoticon for the update.

What an inspiration you are. I remember your very first post and in a short time you have come so far.

Keep up the good work - one day at a time and know we are here for you. We are all on this journey together.

Nancy emoticon

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

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MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/26/10 9:30 A

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And just for reference, in my case I do not suffer from bipolar disorder. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. There were bipolar people in the program with me who also benefited from it.

~*Melissa*~


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MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/26/10 9:26 A

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Well I have been out of the partial-hospitalization program for nearly a week and I am feeling MUCH better. I took part in a program that utilizes DBT and it really hit home. I've learned a lot of skills to cope with stress and anger... and MOST of the time, they work really well.

I'm going to be increasing my visits to my counselor, taking part in weekly group sessions that are part of "after-care" at the program, and my meds have gone largely unchanged.

I was fortunate that they believed my medication was working fairly well for my depression, I just needed better methods of dealing with anxiety, anger, frustration, stress, etc. So I'm still on 60mg/day of Cymbalta and they added in a daily multi-vitamin and twice daily fish oil pills to help with moods. I also have some Ambien to help get me back to sleep at night...

I've found that since I started the program, I was having AWFUL nightmares every night... sometimes multiple times each night. So, hopefully the meds will help get me back to sleep when I'm too worked up.

I also began keeping a journal (almost daily) which I haven't done in quite some time. It feels good and I write what I want, when I want, without fear of someone else reading it... because it's my personal thoughts, if someone is brave enough to open it, then they must be able to handle reading it.

Now I just need to lose some weight before my wedding and I'll be all set! :-p

~*Melissa*~


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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
4/13/10 6:58 P

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It is my understanding that bipolar 2 people have irritable, out-of-sorts or angry times in place of the manic times, and that docs don't always differentiate between types 1 and 2, but just call them all bipolar.
Don't know if that's you, just sayin'.

Jodi

Edited by: DWDMOTHERHEN at: 4/13/2010 (19:01)
My blog for women with depression is:
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My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,689)
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4/12/10 9:59 P

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Kim,

There is a "bipolar 2" diagnosis which, I've been told, skews toward the depressive side. I have no idea how the manic side plays out. You might do some research and talk with your psychiatrist to find out why you were given the "bipolar" diagnosis and if the "2" was inadvertently left out. Googling "bipolar 2" brings up a list of options.

LAURIE, NYC

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KIMTABAKIAN's Photo KIMTABAKIAN Posts: 9
4/12/10 9:10 P

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thanks:) im not really sure that I really am bipolar. the docs say that I am but i really do not have really high highs. It is more like really low lows and then mediocrity...or however you spell it. lol! i never get really really happy. it kind of sucks but its the way God made me.

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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
4/12/10 7:59 P

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MELISSA Hope that the evaluation went well!
KIM Medical science is coming up with new meds all the time, so keep trying! You never know when the right one for you will come along.
Will it ever get better? Most of us here would say, "Yes, it can," because we have found some relief. Persevere, hon, because it seems, from what I have seen here on the messageboards, bipolar people sometimes take longer to find the right combo, but most have gotten there with time.
We are here for you, too!
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
KIMTABAKIAN's Photo KIMTABAKIAN Posts: 9
4/12/10 5:50 P

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I have the same problem with anxiety, severe depression...supposedly bi polar, etc. I have been in the hospital 3 times. I have discovered that it gives you a hope to get better and a time off but ive discovered that it all has to start with us. I feel hopeless sometimes because I wonder if things are ever going to get better. I know they will because my life is in Gods hands. But it is hard to endure. All of this goes to say that I can relate to you. I am proud of you for taking the big step and even putting your job on the line. I don't know your religous beliefs but I would just trust in God:)

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NANCYLEE46's Photo NANCYLEE46 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/12/10 5:48 P

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Thinking of you Mel - will be looking forward to your update.

Nancy emoticon

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,689)
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4/12/10 5:28 P

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Melissa,

Best of luck for today's chapter. Let us know how it goes and how you feel afterward.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

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SHELLZ85 Posts: 3
4/12/10 9:57 A

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Good luck today, I hope everything goes well for you!

MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/12/10 9:18 A

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Evaluation today at 3pm... wish me luck!

And thank you everyone for the support and good wishes. I'll keep you posted.

Edited by: MELSMITH612 at: 4/12/2010 (09:19)
~*Melissa*~


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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 2,055
4/10/10 3:15 A

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I think in the last year I spent almost 3 weeks in partial therapy & 5 days as an inpatient, on top of weekly group therpy and working with a psychologist, almost weekly, and psychiatrist, at least monthly.

My psychiatrist filled out the paperwork for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). This meant that I was too sick to work, but they couldn't fire me from my job.

I ended up not going back to that job. Doc wouldn't let me, as that was where a lot of my stress was coming from. I am glad that I did take my psychiatrist up on the offer, even if it was with quite a bit of reluctance. I hope that you will find this opportunity great for you and your family also.

Amanda. RN

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

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CD6904820 Posts: 1,695
4/9/10 8:50 P

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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time, but you are doing what is best for your health and well-being. As for your job, does it offer FMLA (family medical leave act) as part of your benefits package? If so, you can use it for this time and they have to hold your position. I hope everything works out for you, you're in my thoughts :-)

MRSAFRANK's Photo MRSAFRANK Posts: 55
4/9/10 4:48 P

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Mel- I had to take a medical leave due to mental health issues and everything was very discreet, my boss knew nothing. I had to quit 3 months later but i didn't lose my job and was treated fairly.

I am having major issues, myself, spent last two days in and out of ER because I was having dark, intrusive thoughts about suicide and I was flipping out regularly,. thinking now that I am bipolar 2 with depression and anxiety and I have been on the wrong meds.

Your health is more important than anything, if you don't get proper treatment you risk falling apart at work and that would be worse. good luck, we are in similar boats....


Amanda



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COTTRELL11's Photo COTTRELL11 Posts: 1,552
4/8/10 2:19 P

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I, too, am Borderline and have received immeasurable help from hospitalization and subsequent follow-up services. I would not trade it for anything because it improved EVERY part of my life, including the many thoughts in my head. Yes, definitely do all you can to protect your job, but how wonderful you're putting your health first. Good luck.

Never, never, never, never give up..


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LAURIEBLT's Photo LAURIEBLT Posts: 2,280
4/7/10 11:50 P

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Best Wishes, from another Laurie

sw 2/28/06 164



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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,689)
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4/7/10 8:37 P

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emoticon

Very important, agreed. Best wishes for now and for a happy wedding and marriage. Keep us posted.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

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MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/7/10 1:08 P

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I do plan on asking the hospital to be discreet and let them know that if at all possible I don't want my work to know anything about where I am or why... and that I want all paperwork sent to them to be instructed as being stored in a sealed confidential file within my personnel record (this was a tip from the benefits administrator who is a friend of mine and already knows what's going on).

I wish I could use vacation time but it's already all being used up for my wedding and honeymoon in June... yet another reason why it's so important to me to get treatment NOW.

~*Melissa*~


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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,689)
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4/7/10 12:37 P

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Do you still have time to arrange the week away from work as vacation time? In a discussion in a lapband group at Yahoo, someone pointed out that a human resources dept. cannot reveal why an employee files medical claim forms. A woman who was planning on band surgery didn't want her co-workers or boss to know about it and was reassured that the person who handles medical forms had no legal right to reveal it to anyone.

Even if your worst fear about the job were to come to pass, it's not as important as your whole life. You need the hospital program as a tool for your long-term well-being, for feeling better and functional for the quality of your life.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

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NANCYLEE46's Photo NANCYLEE46 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/7/10 12:21 P

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MEL,

A doctor could write the absence note not stating where you are. I have been in this situation before and the doctor was totally willing to be helpful.

Nancy

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

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MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/7/10 12:14 P

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Thank you Nancy, Linda and Vicki. It's good to have some positive feedback about this...

Vicki, to answer your question... I'm not sure that the hospital needs to disclose *why* I need the time out of work; however, it would be difficult to avoid my employer knowing since that hospital ONLY handles mental health and is well known for it. See the dilemma?

~*Melissa*~


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4/7/10 12:02 P

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MELSMITH,

I am sure this is a anxiety provoking situation, but I am glad you are getting some help. I know it is hard, but try and think of it in terms of if you were to continue on the way you are would you eventually not be able to keep your job anyway.

Try and put all your effort into getting the most out of treatment. Wishing you the best and know we are here for you.

Nancy

Edited by: NANCYLEE46 at: 4/7/2010 (12:19)
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.’” (C.S. Lewis)

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4/7/10 11:40 A

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Melissa - Congratulations! You are doing what is best for you and have shown the courage to take action to help yourself. That is a very good thing.

I suppose one of my questions is if you have to tell the employer it is 'mental' health or could you just say your dr wants you to take a 'medical' break due to a disease process you don't want to discuss? I believe that is a legal option for you and will perhaps alleviate some of your concerns.

Best wishes and god speed to a healthier place. I care and I'm praying for you.

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vicki

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LINDABEAR3's Photo LINDABEAR3 Posts: 1,901
4/7/10 11:36 A

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I hope everything works out well for you. Try not to worry about your job right now just do the therapy and take it as it comes. My prayers are with you.Linda

Blessed are the cracked, For they let in the light

Don't take life too seriously, No one gets out alive

I used to have a handle on life, But it broke

God must love stupid people, he made so many
Maxine


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MELSMITH612's Photo MELSMITH612 Posts: 101
4/7/10 11:24 A

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A couple of days ago I had another one of my "outbursts" (related to Borderline Personality Disorder) and realized that my current therapy and medication is not doing enough to help my depression, anxiety, or other symptoms. Unfortunately it's my family that pays when these outbursts happen... my fiancé worst of all and he's the one who supports me most. It's very sad for me, so I've finally given in and am going on Monday after work to take an evaluation at the local mental health hospital. My mom set it all up for me and I made the appointment for the eval this morning. I will most likely be put into a 5 day long partial hospitalization program that lasts 6 hours each day with intense individual and group therapy sessions. Unfortunately this will mean that I miss a week of work and hopefully not my job on top of it. That's my biggest anxiety about going... my job. The job market is so difficult and the last person at my company who had to take a leave for mental health reasons came back to pack up his desk for being laid off. I have been to one of these programs at another local hospital once before just over three years ago because I was suicidal. I know the programs help/work... I'm just anxious about the whole thing. I really hope that it makes a difference, otherwise I'm afraid that everything in my life will fall apart. emoticon

~*Melissa*~


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