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SMOKYBLUE's Photo SMOKYBLUE Posts: 3
7/10/10 12:59 P

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Hi Everyone,

I am returning to Spark People after being a way for the last year and a half, after I got married, to try this again.

We finally got pregnant last month, but we were going to keep it a secret for awhile. However, my FIL was terminally ill with cancer, so we decided to tell him on Father's Day, as his grandchildren were his world, and my husband was his only child left who did not have children. 3 days later, my FIL passed away, so I know it was the right thing to do at the time.

The end of that week, the night of his wake, I started bleeding. After multiple trips to the doctor over the next week it was determined that I was miscarrying. It has been a rough few weeks.

I have heard so many times the last two weeks "It happens to everyone" that I want to scream. I don't have anything nice to say to that so I just smile and nod and move on or change the subject. I am angry that my MIL told so many of the family already that now it has to be 'untold', when we specifically said that we didn't want anyone else to know. I suppose anger is just another step in the process but I have not gone through this before, so I am looking forward to seeing how you all dealt with this and to learn how I can cope as well.


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CHATTERJESIS's Photo CHATTERJESIS SparkPoints: (0)
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6/30/10 9:00 A

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Hi,I am Subhamita...I am from India,24 year old angel mom,I lost my child on 2008 May,it was a missed abortion.Reason was my high thyroid range.I am trying to lose weight,and will try for baby again
hope it goes well this time
it feels nice to meet you all here...on same boat.Wish everyone good luck,and lets forget our sorrows together!

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CD4091560 Posts: 1,754
6/10/10 2:25 P

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Hi everyone I am a 30 yr old female who at age 15 found out she was pregnant with twins and at 5 mos miscarried them and even named the father buried on his family's property I am in the process of adopting 4 children from Russia with my fiance since i am unable to conceive

SJP2010's Photo SJP2010 SparkPoints: (0)
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6/2/10 11:14 A

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Hello all. My husband and I have been TTC since July of 07. We had an early miscarriage back in November. Its hard to believe that in a month my due date will be here. Hoping I can make it through that day.

Goal Weight: 125
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ORBITSANGEL Posts: 12
6/1/10 9:48 P

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Wow...

I am new at all of this...just joined end of May, so I am not sure of exactly how all of this works...I am midforties, a mother of two boys and one angel baby...Caitlin Elizabeth...that was born in between my 2 boys. It has been many years, and it you just learn to cope as time goes on. Your stories are bringing me to tears. I still have some hard times, but my heart goes out to you, and I am looking forward to receiving and giving support.

Hang in there, all of you, and remember....people who have not gone through similar things always say some "crazy" stuff, but they really mean well. emoticon

SDMOISTN's Photo SDMOISTN Posts: 12
5/30/10 10:23 A

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Hey ladies! I'm Stacy (27). My hubs, Josh (27), and I have been TTC sine Aug 08. During our journey we have had three pregnancies that all ended in miscarriage. Easter 2009, November 2009 with twins, and then well May 2010. After our twins went to heaven the OB put me on a really strict diet. I really worked hard and lost 25 pounds. We got pregnant immediately, well after we started trying again, but then lost the pregnancy just a few days ago.

I am soo frustrated having to have to endure all of this physical and emotional pain. It has just been one bumpy journey after another. It's very frustrating to have people who have never had pregnancy issues trying to give you advice. I know people mean well, it's just their thoughts, advice and actions hurt more than help.
So here I am again, in the same boat that I was in in December. Just had a D&C, waiting for the bleeding to stop, and getting ready for fitness and testing.

I hope that out next pregnancy, yep it will be our 4th, turns out to be something positive. I hope you all are doing well with your workout programs. I wish you the best of luck in your TTC and weightloss journey.

Edited by: SDMOISTN at: 5/30/2010 (10:24)
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SGRENNEK's Photo SGRENNEK Posts: 592
5/19/10 3:31 P

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Wow, I'm so sorry that you're having problems with the scar. If you have to have surgery, I hope it goes wonderfully and that you can try again soon. I definitely agree with doing all you can to make sure the next pregnancy is as safe as possible.

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LIZA7997 Posts: 16
5/18/10 9:58 P

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Thanks...I hope the best for you next month. I actually have to stop trying as I am having issues with my C-section scar. I might have to have reconstructive surgery to strengthen the incision site. I meet with my OBGYN on Thursday to get his opinion. It sucks but I want my next pregnancy to be safe and smooth.

SGRENNEK's Photo SGRENNEK Posts: 592
5/18/10 12:38 P

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Good to meet you Liza. I'm so sorry for your loss. That must have been unspeakably horrible to go through.

My husband and I are going to start trying again next month, and in some ways I'm dreading it. I'm trying to lose a few pounds in the meantime. I hope you get your BFP this month!

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LIZA7997 Posts: 16
5/13/10 8:44 A

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Hi...I am also a mommy of an angel baby. I had my son at 27 weeks by emergency C-section. I had severe preeclampsia and then my kidneys shut down. I was in ICO for 5 days undergoing kidney dialysis and blood transfusions. My son lived in the NICU for 4 1/2 months. He kept getting infections but no one could figure out where they were coming from. They eventually damaged his liver. He had a transplant and during the surgery they found he had a perforated bowel that was causing all the problems. They tried to fix that too during surgery. In the middle of the night after surgery his BP went all wacky and they rushed him back to surgery in the morning. He had a blood clot...they revived him once but the second time they couldn't. His little heart had enough.

We are trying to get pregnant again but it isn't going very well. I am assuming the extra weight I have on me isn't helping. I have been on clomid for 3 cycles but still no luck. I think we are going to stop trying if I don't get a BFP this week and start focusing on getting healthy. I just hate waiting because I am not getting any younger. Plus I would like to be able to use all the baby stuff I have sitting around our house!

SGRENNEK's Photo SGRENNEK Posts: 592
4/23/10 3:04 P

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I have a 13 month old son, and I would be 9w4d with our second. But today, I went for an ultrasound and there was a sac but no baby. Now I'm just waiting to miscarry or have a d&c. I am so completely heartbroken I have no idea how I'm going to get through this.

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CHRISSYJ2's Photo CHRISSYJ2 Posts: 130
4/22/10 8:31 A

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Hi all, my name is Christina. I am a 35 yr old mom to an 11yr old and a 9 yr old. In November we decided we would love to add another child to our family after all these years! We got pregnant on the first try and we were so excited only to miscarry on December 13th. On March 15 we discovered that we were pregnant again. I honestly believed everything would be ok this time. On April 12 ( my birthday :() i went in for an ultrasound only to discover that there was no baby, just a sac. We are so heartbroken. My husband says we can no longer try. I still have hope. I am here to take a break and get my head on straight. I think getting healthier can only help me in my journey to have another child. I miss the days when I used to think that getting pregnant meant that 9 months later there would be a baby :(

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AXTCANGEL's Photo AXTCANGEL Posts: 803
4/21/10 10:51 P

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Hi everyone. My name is Amanda. I am the mother of one angel baby. I found out about a month ago that my pregnancy was unsuccessful because of a blighted ovum. I am currently miscarrying and have been since Friday. (got through the worst of it on Sunday)

It's nice to meet all of you. I am sorry for all of your losses.

Edited by: AXTCANGEL at: 4/21/2010 (22:53)
Getting back into the swing of things.



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TWINSTARZ's Photo TWINSTARZ SparkPoints: (0)
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4/15/10 7:35 P

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Hi everyone, I just joined SparkPeople today. I'm a mother of 21 month old fraternal twin boys as well as a mother to 5 angels. I lost my 1st baby in May 2006 at 8 wks. On 7/24/07, I gave birth to 3 beautiful girls...Chloe, Sydney & Sami Cate and 1 little boy named Jonathan. I went into labor at 19.5wks with my quadruplets & witnessed 3 of my children pass away in my arms. Sami's placental sac broke due to the 3 other births & she passed away in my womb. On 7/15/08, I had an emergency c-section and my twin boys, Julian & Dante, were born at 24wks. They were 1.7lbs each & were considered micropreemies. Julian had a bilateral Grade IV brain bleed which is the worst case possible. After 4 months in the NICU, they came home on oxygen. They are miracle babies due to God and the many people who prayed for them. They are extremely intelligent and love books. With a bilateral Grade IV brain bleed, Julian was expected to be a "vegetable" and even a nurse said to pull the plug because of the quality of life he would have...well, my Julian is walking & has the greatest sense of humor. I cry & wonder what my other children would have been like but I find comfort in knowing I have 5 angels surrounding my family. emoticon

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BUSYMOMOF_4 Posts: 4
3/2/10 7:19 P

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Just remember, its ok to cry. I lost my daughter Kyla at 41 weeks. No cause. No answer. It's been 5 years. I still grieve. And you know what....it's ok. I don't cry as often, but I still do. It was your child. Your child existed and our children still do in our hearts and minds. Work out when you can and when you can't go easy on yourself. I know its easier said than done.

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BUSYMOMOF_4 Posts: 4
3/2/10 7:13 P

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I know I need a safe place to vent and to share. It has been 5 years since I delivered my daughter Kyla at 41 weeks...stillborn. I carry her in my heart and especially my mind daily. I have since given birth to another daughter, Addisyn who is 2 1/2 and a joy. Like most of you, I have my good days and my not so good days, and trying to lose weight at the same time can be difficult to say the least. Thanks everyone. emoticon

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HAS3SONS's Photo HAS3SONS Posts: 13
2/16/10 8:02 P

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Hi, I just joined SP again tonight. I was here and belonged to this team in 2007. It was too hard for me emotionally to continue with SP, and I deleted my membership after a few months. Although it has been almost three years since I lost Lexi, I am still grieving her, but I am now a lot stronger. I hope I can be the supporter in this group this time around.
emoticon

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PECAS123 Posts: 23
1/24/10 3:44 P

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Hi everyone, my name is Sam. I had a miscarriage with our first baby two weeks ago. I was 21 weeks pregnant and they don't know the cause, though they are still testing. I miss her all the time. I'm trying to make sure I eat healthy and go to the gym because it seems like this is at least something I can do to help myself recover. I also want to get back in shape in case we decide to try again. And I need to fit into my old clothes and get out of maternity clothes because they make me sad.
I see so many of the same emotions that I have in the posts below. It is hard not to burst into tears at the gym, definitely! I almost lost it there today because I saw a pregnant women in the locker room who was about where I would have been in my pregnancy. There are days where I am ok, and there are days where I feel like I can't even breathe because the grief is too much. So, I'm doing what I can - eating right, working out, getting up and facing every day.

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ORANGECOWCAT's Photo ORANGECOWCAT SparkPoints: (81,908)
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1/20/10 4:22 P

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Hi everyone...I'm hoping to have found a place for some support. My name is Sandy and this is "my story", one that began back in 2000. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in 2000, a miscarriage at 7 weeks in 2001, a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2005...then my son was born in November of 2006 and we thought our nightmare was over. However, in March of 2008, we lost yet another baby, miscarriage number 4 at 8 weeks. After a year and a half of trying to get pregnant, we found out this past fall that we were having another baby. Jonah Matthew was born on 12/29/09 at 16 weeks gestation, due to preterm labor that is still of unknown cause. It's been 3 weeks and instead of starting to feel better, I feel like I've taken a turn for the worse...the anxiety and panic that I feel most days is pretty overwhelming. I've taken some comfort in exercising but it's been hard not to burst into tears at the gym! I feel a little crazy right now and am hoping to find some women here who might have some input on how I can better cope and get my life back to somewhat normal.



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CAREYMARTY's Photo CAREYMARTY SparkPoints: (0)
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1/16/10 1:14 P

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Hi there, this is my story. Although not as new with loss as some of you, I still think of my angles every day. I had my first miscarriage in Oct 1997. I was only 10 wks along and didn't even know I was pregnant. My second miscarriage was Nov 2000. This was our first pregnancy married and we were so excited again I was only 11 wks this time. In the next year we discovered I need surgery to hold a pregnancy (septum uterus). Then we had our first child Aug of 2002. A happy healthy boy! Only 6 short months later we were shocked to find out we were expecting again. We delivered our daughter Caylin at 24 weeks on fathers day. She only lived for two short days and went to heaven. We miss her every day. Then in even more of a shock, in another six short months we were expecting again. And after a terrifying 9 months in July of 2004 we had another daughter. I do believe every day is a challenge but also I have two incredible miracles to look at every day.

If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up!


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NEILSGIRL's Photo NEILSGIRL Posts: 5
1/9/10 5:55 P

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My name is Katherine, and I recently had a miscarriage. I'm so glad this group is here, while at the same time sorry it has a reason to exist at all.

My husband Neil and I were married on November 6th, just two months ago, and we had decided before the big day that we would initially take a "let go and let God" attitude to having a baby. In other words, we wouldn't try to have a baby, per se, but we also wouldn't make any effort NOT to have a baby. Well, as I said, the wedding was on November 6th, and six days later, we conceived. Of course, we didn't know it right away, but when we found out, we were thrilled!

Everything went along just fine, although in retrospect, I can see that perhaps there were signs of things going wrong (I only had morning sickness for a week or so, then it mysteriously disappeared, for example). We flew back east to visit my family for Christmas, and besides being tired all the time, I felt just fine.

The day after we flew home, I had my first prenatal appointment. It was so surreal. We spent some time talking with the doctor, asking questions, and then she did an exam and a vaginal ultrasound. And that's where it all started to go wrong. One minute my husband and I were looking at the monitor saying "There's our baby!". The next minute the doctor is telling us that she's "most concerned" about the fact that she wasn't detecting a heartbeat. We were sent down to radiology for a second ultrasound with a more sensitive machine, and the initial findings were confirmed: our baby had died. Our little one no longer had a heartbeat. Judging by our baby's size (the ultrasound showed the baby to be 8w3d, and the doctor had dated my pregnancy at nine weeks based on my last menstrual period), it had to have happened within days of the appointment. I can't help but feel a little weird that my baby died, and I didn't even know it. Maybe that sounds stupid, but I can't help feeling that way.

That was on 12/28/09, and unfortunately, the story doesn't end there. I was given the option to do nothing and let nature take its course, take medication to induce labor so I could finish the miscarriage, or have a D&C. I opted for the medication (Cytotec), and did the first course on the 30th. And...nothing happened. I just ended up with cramping that hurt but produced no results, and being violently ill (for which the doctor prescribed Phenergan, thank God). On the 31st, I did a second round of Cytotec, and still, nothing. The doctor said I might still miscarry naturally over the weekend, so I waited. And...nothing. Ultimately, I was scheduled for a D&C on 1/5/10. That was just this Tuesday.

Part of me is glad to have the medical part of the ordeal over with, with the exception of the recovery time. The rest of me is just confused, hurt, angry, sad, and feeling a bit fragile right now. My husband has been wonderful through all of this, but he's processing it differently. He was heartbroken when it happened, scared for me when I couldn't complete the miscarriage on my own, and now he seems like he's okay with it. I'm not quite there yet; thankfully he understands that.

I think my biggest emotion is fear, really. I want to have a baby. I want to try again. I do. But I'm scared to death of putting myself in a position where this could happen again. I want to have intimacy with my husband, but at the same time, I'm almost a little thankful that I have to be on pelvic rest for six weeks following the surgery--no chance of getting pregnant again for a while. I feel like waiting for two normal cycles to happen will take forever, and yet, like they'll come too quickly. God, I hope I'm making sense.

In any case, I think even though I'm still hormonal, still grieving, and still processing all of this, coming back to SparkPeople is the best thing I can do for myself right now. I figure it this way: I'll get healthier for the next attempt at parenthood, and if the hubbs doesn't knock me up again right away, then at least I'll be looking good for swimsuit season, right? Either way, it's a win. emoticon

I look forward to getting to know the rest of the mommies of angel babies on this team. It's terrible that any of us had to go through the loss of a child, but at least we all have each other to lean on, and for that, I am thankful.

Edited by: NEILSGIRL at: 1/9/2010 (18:08)
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!!!!


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KELLYSLOSINGIT!'s Photo KELLYSLOSINGIT! Posts: 1,267
1/8/10 6:20 P

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Hi, my name is Kelly and I recently had a miscarriage on 12/17/09 at 11 weeks. I have a perfectly healthy little girl who is 4, so I never expected this sort of thing to happen to me. Everything was fine at my 7 week ultrasound, but at my 10 week visit my OB tried so hard to find the heartbeat with the doppler and finally gave up. The nurse brought in a portable ultrasound machine and as soon as I saw the baby I knew his/her little heartbeat was no longer beating. The baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. My husband and I were devastated. How were we going to tell everyone who knew that we lost our baby? I left all of the calls for my husband to make. I couldn't bare to say the words out loud. Besides I couldn't stopping crying long enough to say anything. So, here I am and thank you for welcoming me into this group. I'm getting back on track physically, emotionally and mentally in preparation to try to conceive again once I get the green light from my OB.

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DANI_KRISTINE Posts: 1
1/5/10 5:20 P

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Hi everyone! I am new on here I just started working towards a healthier me a few days ago and hoping it will help me not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. I lost my baby girl Addison Kristine at 27 weeks on June 13 2009. A day I will never forget. I want soo bad to have another baby but know that it won't solve anything right now. Excited to be on here and help others also!

OUR2CELTICGIRLS's Photo OUR2CELTICGIRLS Posts: 32
1/5/10 3:44 P

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Hi, my name is Shawna. My third baby died on Oct. 14, 2009 at 10 weeks. I had begun to wonder if things were ok with my pregnancy because just as quick as the morning sickness and food aversions came on, they left. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor because I woke up bleeding. He ordered an Ultrasound, which showed our baby was still no bigger then it had been at our first appointment, 4mm. I held on to hope that he would be a survivor like his mom because his heart was beating at 86 bpm. I was told by my doctor that I was at threatened miscarriage, to go home and lay down and see which way it goes, but bottom line it was not good. That night the baby was gone. The first hospital I went to, sent me home with medication to close my cervix back up. I had an appointment two days later with my OB doctor, and found out that the cervix was almost closed and the baby was still inside my uterus. So I had an emergency D&E. When I woke up is when it hit that my baby was gone. To make matters worse, my sister in law called to tell us that she was pregnant and she had found out she was pregnant the day we lost our baby.

I don't understand why, and I don't pretend to be ok. I have a hard time when I see a woman who is where I should be in a pregnancy right now. I have a hard time entertaing my husbands brother and his wife because she is due two weeks after we were due. I feel slightly disconnected from my oldest because when the ambulance arrived to take me because I was bleeding so bad, she woke up. She saw them take me away, and she freaked out. It traumatized her, gave her nightmares.

Does one ever fully recover? How long does it take. I am looking to start trying to get pregnant at the end of January, which willbe three cycles since the miscarriage. Is anyone else trying?

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LINDY2202's Photo LINDY2202 SparkPoints: (0)
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1/2/10 2:37 A

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I lost my son December 2, 2009 at 20 weeks due to an incompotent cervix. I had no idea it was going to happen. It was a month ago today. I don't need to describe how I am feeling. Any of you that have had to deliver a baby while knowing that it would not survive knows how I feel. I got to hold my son Aaron Michael for a little while. I miss being pregnant all day everyday, but I miss him more than anything. I want him back.

Stay Within

Don't venture out.
Not yet.
This is to be our only time
to love and be together.
We are still one.

If I had only known
this was our time,
our only time.

Edited by: LINDY2202 at: 1/2/2010 (02:55)
It's easy to say you're too tired, too stressed, too busy, too this or too that. Too bad. The only way you'll strip away the fat is to start by stripping away the excuses." -- Dr. Oz & Dr. Roizen- You on A Diet


Don't look back and think "I wish I had...", look back and say "I'm glad I did..."

Forgive yourself for letting yourself go.

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states. ~Carol Welch



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SONO1016's Photo SONO1016 Posts: 23
12/31/09 11:40 A

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Hello everyone, my name is Kerry. I'm new to the team, but I've been on Spark since Aug. I recently graduated from college (Ultrasound program) in May and my husband and I thought finally it would be a good time to start for a family. I stopped my BCP's in September and surprisingly got pregnant 5 wks later. I've been on BCP's for 8 years so must have been pretty fertile. The Sunday before Thanksgiving I started lightly spotting and a different kind of cramping. Monday I was supposed to recheck my levels for the midwife and I work in a hospital so found out my levels that night at work had dropped!!! I knew I was only 3-4 wks, but I still sobbed my eyes out. I had only known for 1 wk that I was pregnant, but something just didn't feel right. And being in the healthcare profession I took that as a bad thing and thankfully had knot told too many people I was pregnant. The hardest part was that no one on my husband's side knew and his oldest sister delivered her first born the day I know I miscarried. But I still visited her in the hospital on Thanksgiving and held up pretty well I thought, her little baby girl was adorable!!
Anyways, I luckily have a close friend who has been through the same thing and let me cry on her shoulder. And my husband helped me look on the brighter side and told me he'd try again whenever I wanted. Well, its been a month and still waiting for my cycle to restart itself so that we can try again next year. Glad also I found this group, so sorry for everyone elses losses, but together we can help each other.

Edited by: SONO1016 at: 12/31/2009 (15:54)
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JSTFORYOU09 Posts: 2
12/15/09 3:55 P

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Hello everyone,

I just don't know why this happens. I just lost my baby boy it's almost going to be a month, everything was going well but that saturday (november 14, 2009) I felt little pains, They weren't bad, I went to the bathroom and when I got up I saw blood in the toilet seat, I was shocked and scared. I managed to calm myself down and asked my husband to take me to the e.r he was scared too, everything happened so quickly. my bleeding stopped then came the contractions I felt helpless and so bad, there wasn't anything I could do for him, I was five months pregnant (20 weeks and 2 days) . A ob came and checked me and said your bag is in your vagina you are going to have your baby. Earlier they had tried to look for his heart and it was a very faint heartbeat. They took me to the maternity floor and within an hour I delivered by baby boy. He was so handsome nothing was wrong with him he was normal except he was too young to live. I still don't know what happened, I'm waiting for the placenta test results I didn't want them to do anything to my baby boy. I had him at midnight and I held him about six hours and they had to take him from me and it was painful, Next door I could hear the first cries of others baby's and the "congratulations it's a boy/girl" I felt so bad. I left as soon as I could. I never thought this was really hard. I still can't sleep at times and cry when i'm alone or when I see my husband cry. These holidays aren't as exciting as they used to be. I'm afraid of trying again. I have pcos and a fibroid in my uterus wall, It is really hard for me to get pregnant and it's also hard going trough those false pregnancy test and I'm really not ready for that and I think I might not be any time soon.

Edited by: JSTFORYOU09 at: 12/15/2009 (15:59)
DECK13's Photo DECK13 Posts: 3
12/8/09 11:16 P

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I'm glad to find a place where I can express my feelings about this loss and the effect on my body. I was so very excited to find out that I was pregnant on 10/22/09, after 5 months of trying. I wanted to be as healthy as I could be during my pregnancy. Unfortunately, we learned on 11/19/09 that our baby's heart had stopped beating (at about 7 weeks). I waited for 2 weeks for the miscarriage to happen naturally, but ended up doing the medical induction of the miscarriage this past weekend. It's been a long and painful process.

I think one of the hardest parts of this ordeal has been the effect on my body. I was okay with my growing belly and face full of breakouts when I had my baby to focus on. But now I just want to be back to my "old" self. I'm finding it hard to look in the mirror and be forgiving. I don't feel good about how I look.

I think that getting back to my ideal weight as I prepare to get pregnant again will be a good focus. Thanks for your support and understanding - it feels good to be among women who know what I'm going through.

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HKC_25's Photo HKC_25 Posts: 157
12/7/09 9:31 P

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Hello, my name is Holly i had a miscarriage 11/24/09. i was 8 wks pregnant with my second. We were so excited to meet our baby in July.

Im really sorry to hear of everyone else's loss but i am so glad maybe we can be here for each other. I think this is an experience that you really cant relate to unless you've been through it.

I really want to let myself feel all these emotions but i also want to get some focus back. I want to get more sleep, eat healthy again and exercise everyday. I feel like I've been in such a daze.

Ok I'm rambling... i look forward to seeing us all have healthy pregnancies/babies in the near future.

Less thinking....more moving!


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FOREVERWANTING's Photo FOREVERWANTING Posts: 43
12/7/09 3:02 A

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Hello everyone, my name is Angie. I had a m/c on 9/10/09. I never went to see a doctor but I knew what was going on when it happened. I am still grieving and have just decided, after a long time denying or refusing to accept that my automatic psychotic irrational, and emotional meltdowns were because I was still holding on, to join a support group to get through this. I honestly did not believe I was worth receiving any sympathy since I felt I was not pregnant long enough. My baby was 6wks when I miscarried. I just told my family sometime in November. The only in my family who knew was my twin and I had so much anger towards her because about one month or two before I found out I was pg, she had an abortion. But she was my support system as well. My FI has been so good to me.

I have gained weight since then and I did not realize until last night (Sat. evening) after a long chat with FI that I maybe be still dealing with this emotionally and chemically.

Peace & Love to you all


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FOREVERWANTING's Photo FOREVERWANTING Posts: 43
12/7/09 3:01 A

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Hello everyone, my name is Angie. I had a m/c on 9/10/09. I never went to see a doctor but I knew what was going on when it happened. I am still grieving and have just decided, after a long time denying or refusing to accept that my automatic psychotic irrational, and emotional meltdowns were because I was still holding on, to join a support group to get through this. I honestly did not believe I was worth receiving any sympathy since I felt I was not pregnant long enough. My baby was 6wks when I miscarried. I just told my family sometime in November. The only in my family who knew was my twin and I had so much anger towards her because about one month or two before I found out I was pg, she had an abortion. But she was my support system as well. My FI has been so good to me.

I have gained weight since then and I did not realize until last night (Sat. evening) after a long chat with FI that I maybe be still dealing with this emotionally and chemically.

Peace & Love to you all


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STEFFLEE's Photo STEFFLEE Posts: 149
11/24/09 3:49 P

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Hey everyone. I'm Steph. I had a m/c in April of 2008.. On my 24th birthday. We found out the beginning of March.. I knew and had 4 weeks to be excited about this baby, I even made the mistake of telling my son about it. I thought that because I had him, No problems with him.. I was in the clear.. Man was I wrong. My baby would be 1 year old at the beginning of Dec. I was 6 weeks pregnant when it happened. Is it normal for me to still find myself crying from time to time over it?

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LUCKYBEAN01's Photo LUCKYBEAN01 Posts: 21
10/29/09 9:55 A

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Hi my name is Nina I had a m/c in 2005 but most recently lost my little girl Ava Grace at 28 weeks pregnant due to her cord getting twisted. I have gained weight since then and would like to get back on track so we can try again next year. I also have a son who will be 3 soon.

Its hard to beat a person that never gives up.




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HELPER911 Posts: 5
9/24/09 4:34 P

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I appreciate your positive outlook! thanks, that was refreshing. emoticon

MOTT35453's Photo MOTT35453 Posts: 13
9/24/09 1:35 P

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Hi my name is Melissa,
I lost my precious baby angel on 03/16/09 baby girl due to trisomy 21. This was my 3rd loss, we are currently trying again. I just turned 40 in June so I know I am pushing it, but I don't want to wake up when I am 50 and say what if. DH was scared to try again, but the doctor reassured him that you can't ley something like this stop the show, you have to keep on trying and so hear we are. I am sorry to hear that anyone has lost a child but be assure that you will SEE THEM AGAIN.... baby dust to all!!

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MEGS122's Photo MEGS122 Posts: 1,089
9/8/09 2:36 A

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Hi my name is Megan and I'm 25 and had a miscarriage in march and also had a d&c. I'm trying to get pregnant again but its not as easy as it was the first time. I want to lose some weight just to be healthy for when i do get pregnant again. I know that having a miscarriage is fairly common but really wish i just knew why it happened.
Baby dust to all the trying mommies

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TITHENLOTHNIM's Photo TITHENLOTHNIM SparkPoints: (0)
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9/2/09 4:52 P

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I'm Ashley, 25. I've had 2 miscarriages and 5 chemical pregnancies. My first loss was in August 2005 when I lost identical twin boys to Trisomy 8 complete. My secons loss was in 2008 when I lost a little girl to insufficient uterine lining (nothing for the placenta to ahere too. Both losses were first trimester at 9w2d and 8 weeks respectively. I co host a recurrent pregnancy loss forum on another board, which has helped me heal, and given me the strength to be there for others.

I am not currently trying for another baby, but I would like to have a healthy body when I do.

LESSOFMICHELLE Posts: 1
8/25/09 10:56 A

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Hi. My name is Michelle. I just had a D and C two week ago! My husband and I have infrtility and by th grace ofGod we are blessedwith a healthy 2 year old daughter. When we got pregnant again, we were thrilled. We were looking forward to another miracle child. When we went in for our 13 week appt/ultrasound. Thebaby only measure 6 weeks. We had to go back 2 week latr to check and seeif maybe the dates were off! Instead we found out that our babyhad died! I had a D and C a few days later. It is hard. I gained most of my weight trying to get pregnant the first time.

LEEWARD's Photo LEEWARD Posts: 176
8/24/09 7:24 P

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My name is Cathy. I have had two miscarriages. They were years ago, but it will always stay with me. I now have three children, one boy, 11, and two girls 10 and 3. My first miscarriage was in 1996, my very first pregnancy. I was only a couple months along, but, it was still my child. My second one was in 2003. I was at the end of my third month, starting my fourth, and they couldn't find the heartbeat. I was so devastated, I was almost afraid to get pregnant again. But I did. Each one of my kids are precious gifts and though it has been several years since I miscarried, I still think about the two I lost, and what they might have looked like, and what they would have become. It has gotten easier over the years, but I won't ever forget.

Edited by: LEEWARD at: 8/25/2009 (14:27)
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WILLIAMSLE's Photo WILLIAMSLE Posts: 8
8/14/09 9:27 P

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I know its been awhile since u posted this but I just joined today and read this. It touched my heart. I've had 9 miscarriages. 8 of them over a two year span. I went thru every emotion possible...I even asked God why He let this happen to me. I just thought I'd share with you my personal view. I know its hard to fathom. To our brains, answers are so far beyond reach. And I really cannot completely explain my own point of view. But I don't believe that God chooses for these things to happen to us. He may know? But doesn't choose. The scripture says in Jeremiah 29 that God has plans for our prosperity. That says to me that He doesn't give us these things. And of course its not our fault. Sometimes I believe there are influences in this world that work against us. Whether its spiritual or physical....its real. But God is always on our side. And we'll never go through anything we cannot weather because He stands with us. I pray that your heart finds peace....even if there are no answers. I still don't have any answers myself....sparing one....My God is always with me...and according to His Words, He wants the best for me.
God Bless.

Edited by: WILLIAMSLE at: 8/14/2009 (21:30)
~*Lori*~

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.


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CD5597639 Posts: 211
8/4/09 11:43 P

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Hi,

My son Sebastian Cole was born still on 6/22/09. He was our first child. Now I'm here to become healthy and lose weight before we try and conceive again. I want to make sure I give the best possible chance for our next baby.

COFFEEDR's Photo COFFEEDR Posts: 1
8/4/09 1:19 A

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Hello, I am introducing myself again. My husband and I lost another baby, our daughter Talya. We lost our son Tred 6/5/08 and our daughter 4/10/09. We are beyond devestated right now and I am needing to put my energy into losing weight. I am so lost right now that I don't know what to do but try to loose weight, that seems to be the only thing that I can be in charge of. Our baby girl was stillborn at 38 weeks of GBS/cord accident.

http://imtryingangie.blogspot.com/

http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/v
iew_shared?p=667607586b05d4b35d1164&sk
in_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=email


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K3YAH1 Posts: 1
7/27/09 8:14 P

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Hi, My name is Keyah, 26 and just had a MC/DNC a week ago, I was 14 weeks and had an US 4 days before the MC. It has been one of the hardest time for me. We've been trying for so long and finally were able to conceive naturally. I am still at home recovering and decided to come on SP so that I can get my motivation to lose weight. I need to lose the weight. I've lost a total of 17 lbs since I've found out I was pregnant by eating right and drinking lots of water. Now that I'm no longer pregnant I'm afraid I will gain it all back. I just keep thinking about my precious angel how he could still be in me. He is really my motivation to lose weight before we try again. I'm so thankful to have a wonderful supporting husband. Without him I don't know what I would do. Today he went back to work after taking care of me for a week. It's still very hard but I'm hanging in there. I am still very sad due to the future appts I had set up and especially the due date in Jan. It's hurts so much!

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MOTOGIRL2's Photo MOTOGIRL2 Posts: 470
7/22/09 6:14 P

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My name is Michelle I lost my baby boy Deegan on 07/10/09 due to stillbirth. I have two other boys age 7 and 5 that I am very thankful for and a very wonderful supportive husband. When we are emotionally ready we are going to try for a baby but will never forget or replace baby Deegan. I would like to get a little healthier before this happens and also know that being healthier will help me get through this, and feel better about myself.

Bev MTN time


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ANGIED82 Posts: 4
7/9/09 8:47 P

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My name is Angela. It feels like another lifetime ago I lost my son Thomas. My husband Mike and I are trying to have our first baby together. He sees himself as daddy to Thomas. My first husband, lets call him the jerk, and I got pregnant in 2002 just after we were married. I found out I was when he abandonded me with his family oin CA when the two of us lived in TX. My mom saved me and brought me back to AZ where I found out I was in fact pregnant and then stupidly went back to the jerk. I feel now that if I hadnt f\gone back just maybe I would have my little boy. Neways Everything seemed to be going well in the pregnancy besides the morning sickness that never went away and got so bad that they gave me a prescription and had me down at the local hospitals and a direct admit for dehydration possibilities. Around me my life was falling apart amd I now know that the jerk cheated on me with his friend. the two of them would go do things while he told me he had to work late. We didnt have a car of our own. Neways on Oct 4th we planned to go see Red Dragon because it came out that day. I went to go get ready and had to go to the restroom. My water broke. I spent the next 2 days in a military hospital with the jerk and my mom who had flown in to be with me. On sunday the 6th I was transfered to San Antonio and the next day the 7th of oct and 17 weeks early, my son was born at 5:15 pm he seemed to be okay after they got him breathing but around 930 we saw that he was failing again and decided that it was best to let him go. so he was taken off the machines and finally let go at 1033pm.
The jerk and I were divorced after he went to Iraq and came back on R and R to stay with his girlfriend not me. So I left him jan of 04 and was divorced in nov of 04.
Mike, my wonderful and supportive husband, and I met in 06 and was married in 07. We both have a lot of health problems. I with my fibro and Arthritis and his with renal failure and a history of blood clots in the legs and lungs. We lost my mom in sept of 07 just after we were married and then my nana and uncle in june and may of this year. We have been trying since nov of 07 but have had little success we think my body has tried 3 times now but no luck. I was either fertilized to late or not at all but my body thought so.
ne ways its hard to think of being pregnant again because of my fears of losing another one. but we are working thru it.

NUTMEG1125's Photo NUTMEG1125 Posts: 2,002
6/8/09 8:17 P

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My son Colm was born still on May 13th. We went for a routine appt on the 12th and there was no heartbeat with the doppler. We went to the hospital to hopefully find he was oaky, but he wasn't. They induced labor that night and he was born in the morning. They don't know what happened to him. I was 24 weeks pregnant.

I have had a lot of frustration with my work and the doctors at my clinic (not my midwives).



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VUANDHOLLI's Photo VUANDHOLLI Posts: 3
6/5/09 11:11 A

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Hi, I am Holli. My baby Devin died of a congenital heart disorder called Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Only half of his heart formed. He had an open heart surgery at 4 days old and died two days later from a stroke. I now have a beautiful 6 year old daughter, I am very grateful for. Life is precious and I think of Devin everyday. Thanks for sharing your stories- and sorry to hear about your losses. I know, our angels are always with us.

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BCANGELRAE's Photo BCANGELRAE Posts: 213
6/4/09 3:23 P

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Hi all,

I am from Dawson Creek, British Columbia, Canada. I lost my daughter on March 6, 2009, when she was 17 days old. She was born 3 months premature, for unknown reasons. Now that my hubby and I have come out of coma (that is what I have called never leaving the house and dealing with the grief), we have decided to make some healthy changes before we decide to try again for another babe. I have been introduced to Sparkpeople by my best friend and I am glad to have found a team like this.

Talk to you all soon!
Charlene

Charlene
Mommy to an angel baby, Delilah Audrey Marie and my earthly angel Phoebe Donna Lyn.


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CD5299601 Posts: 14
5/28/09 8:39 A

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I am from Fairfield Township, OH, which is just north of Cincinnati.
I suffered a mc on September 1, 2008. It was our first pregnancy. I wound up having a D&C as a result. The emotional roller coaster was tremendous. I became very depressed and "let myself go" as they say. In February I learned about the March for Babies. That was my motivation to get moving. Once I completed the MFB, I was encouraged to keep going, and started jogging. Then I found out about SparkPeople.com. So, here I am. :)

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5/12/09 11:33 A

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Hi all,
I just suffered my third miscarriage in a 10 month period. On Mother's Day, no less. Right now I am really reeling, as I'm sure you all can relate. I'm hoping this team will help me process the grief at least a little. I'm so sorry that any of us have to be members of this team, but also grateful to have found a community of others who "get it."

~Amy~

Go Orange Hot Mamas! (We used to be Red Hot, but now we run so fast that we're orange . . .)

Goal 1: 160 by DD's 1st bday (11/14/07) Met 10/20/07!

Goal 2: 145 by my 35th bday (2/26/08)


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