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AJDOVER1's Photo AJDOVER1 SparkPoints: (722,125)
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12/9/12 10:53 A

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Isn't that great, Anne? It's more than just removing alcohol from our lives -- it's filling our lives with things that are more worthwhile. What fun!

Let's walk!


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ANNEMARGAR's Photo ANNEMARGAR Posts: 1,868
12/9/12 10:04 A

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Last night my partner and I went to the movies with a friend of mine from the old neighborhood. We went to a restaurant for dinner that did not serve alcohol - it was BYOB. This meant that I did not have to worry about what to order for dinner. I went crazy and had a ginger ale (I usually don't drink soda, but if I am not drinking alcohol I think I can afford the caloric splurge of a soda here and there). Anyway - it hit me as we left the theatre (Life of Pi), that I NEVER went to movies - why? Because I was either out at a bar drinking or I was at a party drinking. I never went out to the movies. It was so much fun -- we had a great talk about the movies afterwards and I remembered the entire evening as I woke this morning. What a GREAT feeling!! I find that the more I don't drink - the more of life I get to discover!!

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CD8557093 Posts: 649
12/8/12 1:06 A

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Thanks everyone for the advice. I don't feel any different as of yet since it's only been a month. There were many times I'd gone weeks or even a few months between drinking episodes. I can't drink alone and it's hard sometimes to get friends together and put myself in a situation where I don't have to drive. I would never drink and drive. I'm a little afraid of how much I would actually drink if I didn't have to work every weekend and didn't have to drive myself home. Anyway, I'm doing ok so far but I'm really the most worried about not drinking for a complete year. It seems so long. There are certain events where I always look forward to getting drunk and I'm not sure how they're going to be without the alcohol. I usually spend New Year's and Halloween at a certain bar and I always have at least 5 or 6 drinks (two of them Long Island Iced Teas) and a few shots. I drink on my birthday too. There are lots of other occasions where I may drink but I think those three will be the hardest.

AJDOVER1's Photo AJDOVER1 SparkPoints: (722,125)
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12/7/12 1:54 P

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Jennilynn, you're saying the same thing I've said to myself and heard from dozens of women in AA. Don't let rumors of what you heard you "have" to do in AA scare you away. Make your own decision based on your own experiences. I thought I was so different. It turned out I really wasn't. It finally became more important to take care of myself than to worry about what others might think.

I wish you all the best. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

Let's walk!


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ANNEMARGAR's Photo ANNEMARGAR Posts: 1,868
12/7/12 7:25 A

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Jennilynn - I have really been thinking of what you said here earlier this week. That you drink for the buzz - not really the flavor of the alcohol. I can totally identify with what you are saying (though I did enjoy the taste of wine/beer/alcohol). It is very hard for me to stop at one glass of wine or one beer -- I want/need to have at least that second one - I want the buzz. Now that I am not drinking, it amazes me how others can just sip their wine - or leave the wine without finishing it. The more I really look at my past drinking patterns - the more I know, I need to stay away from alcohol.

Thanks again for sharing your post!

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ANNEMARGAR's Photo ANNEMARGAR Posts: 1,868
12/5/12 1:38 P

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Thanks for posting your note JenniLynn. So, since you have been AF for a month now - how do you feel? More energy? Better health? Please share :)

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CD8557093 Posts: 649
12/4/12 12:29 P

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That's what I'm not sure of though. I don't know if I actually crave the alcohol itself. I think I crave the feeling of being drunk more. If you told me that drinking wouldn't give me any type of buzz, I don't think I would want it. The problem though is that when I go out, even though I'm definitley buzzed, I will keep drinking in fear that my buzz will go away and of course eventually end up drunk. I've tried a few types of drugs in the past though but those were super easy to give up. I tried them a few times and haven't thought of them since. I guess I like the feeling of being buzzed more than being high. I've only had two dreams of drinking since I stopped last month, but in my last dream I was drinking at home alone. I never do that. Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me there was a problem (lol). The only problem with AA is that from what I've heard you have to apologize to people. I don't want my friends and family to know I'm going to AA. I think that will cause more problems in the long run.

ANNEMARGAR's Photo ANNEMARGAR Posts: 1,868
12/4/12 7:24 A

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I have been reading a book, "The High Functioning Alcoholic" and the book gave a definition that an alcoholic is someone that craves alcohol after taking the first sip. I would rather not drink than have just one glass of wine (or beer).

I had 1 1/2 glasses of wine Saturday night and the alcohol caused me to stay up all night - couldn't sleep. The next night, I really wanted to have a glass of wine because it would taste so good. I said outloud, "I really want a glass of wine, but I know 100% that it will keep me from having a good night sleep and then I will feel terrible all the next day". My 8 year-old daughter looked at me and said, "It is simple Mama, don't drink the wine - drink the lemonade instead". Wow, just wow - my 8 year-old can see the logic plain and simple, but it seems so hard for me. Just crazy. Well, the Strawberry-Lemonade was delicious and I had a very good sleep that night.

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AJDOVER1's Photo AJDOVER1 SparkPoints: (722,125)
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12/4/12 12:14 A

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I'm not one to label anyone, or to dwell on the labels that are attached to me by others.

I didn't drink every day. I could avoid drinking for long periods (months). However, when I drank it was a problem. The only solution for me is not to drink -- at all. Cutting down was not possible for me. My only hope of survival is not to drink. I can't count the number of times I thought I'd just have one drink -- but I didn't stop at one. I'd be right back to where I started, feeling sick and bad about myself, humiliated by my behavior, wondering what I said or did.

AA had what I needed to keep from going back to drinking. The Steps, the Big Book, the people, the meetings. I've got more than seven years of sobriety now and my life is better than I could have ever imagined.

Do you think you have a problem with alcohol? If so, what are you going to do about it? That's a decision only you can make. If you want to stop drinking you can do it. I'm here to support you. You've got more than a month alcohol-free! You're doing great. Don't let the fear of the word alcoholic change your behavior. You don't have to drink.


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CD8557093 Posts: 649
12/2/12 9:40 P

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So I took a test today (actually I took 10) on "Are you an alcoholic". I honestly didn't think I was. I was just curious to see how I scored. However, all 10 tests said I scored high that I was indeed an alcoholic. It was based on the following facts:

-I drink to feel less shy and increase my self confidence
-When I do drink I usually have at least 5 drinks or more.
-Once I get started drinking, even though I tell myself I should stop, I usually have more.
-I sometimes bring alcohol in my purse or drink before an outing in case there is a lack of booze there.
-I often hang out with people that aren't of the best quality when I drink.
-I have done or said things I've regretted while drinking.
-Alcohol depresses me in the long run.
-I have told myself in the past that I wouldn't drink anymore, but then found excuses to do it anyway.
-I get highly emotional when drinking (extreme tears) and have made quite a few people uncomfortable.
-There have been a few instances where I couldn't fully remember everything that had happened while I was drinking.

The thing though is that I don't drink everyday. Sometimes there are times when I go weeks without alcohol and as far as I know I don't have any cravings. I gave up alcohol October 28th after acting stupid and knocking a table over at the bar and so far I have been ok. I did have a dream I was drinking and the month has felt like forever but I don't think those are cravings. Does it sound like I'm an alcoholic? I'm a little worried because both my father and grandfather were. Any info would be great. Thanks.

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