Message board topics
Reply Create A New Topic Subscribe to this Discussion
Author:
GWYNLEE2's Photo GWYNLEE2 Posts: 1,603
7/28/20 6:37 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I came upon peace in my life by doing a lot of things



 current weight: 220.0 
220
195
170
145
120
GWYNLEE2's Photo GWYNLEE2 Posts: 1,603
7/28/20 7:31 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My name is spelled with a Y -- G w y n l e e-- thanks. You kind of just rambled on and I really didn't quite follow what you are talking about.
any way, have gained a few pounds over the past few months and I am not happy about that. they will come off.
I hope you can become more dependable



 current weight: 220.0 
220
195
170
145
120
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
7/27/20 7:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Losing some weight this week. Went to the doctor in a van and the driver chatted the whole way there and back. Drove me nuts . She is about my age but she obviously has a much more active life than I do. And It is plain she is not overweight and bogged down by it. Really she depressed me by comparison. She kept asking me what I did to have fun and I had no answer. My life is not like hers. I have no car. I have no husband. I have few friends. I Have a lot of depression and I spend my life surviving it. I have been given something different than her, apparently. I still spend a lot of time accepting that. I am trying to help the rest of my family survive the same disease. There is something neurological going on in our bloodline. We have to stop reproducing. We have to employ a lot of acceptance. We have to learn to find happiness in quiet things. I certainly do. My grown children will soon in my position.

That driver was not very intuitive. She drives a medicaid van. What kind of lives does she suppose her clients live? She knows three things about them: they are low income, they do not drive, and they are sick.

I am not discontent with my life. But if I compare myself with a worldly life like hers, I will be.

In some way I cannot quite name, I am glad I am me and not her. She seems unable to be calm. She does not enjoy silence. When I did not answer her constant chatter, she turned on the radio--LOUD. She can't handle silence, even tho we drove down a beautiful country road that was very pleasant just to look at. I wonder what it is she cannot stand to be alone with.

She drove like a maniac and could not stop talking. ....No, I don't think I am envious.

It takes a great deal to establish peace. I am proud of myself for establishing it and I know it is a great accomplishment. Every day I balance my life, learn to find happiness in the little things and in what is, and not demand what is not.

I feel better talking this out. I want to feel calm enough that I don't need to eat more than I need. I want to enjoy less.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
7/27/20 10:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Gwenlee, I like your hat. That's a cute pic of you.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNLEE2's Photo GWYNLEE2 Posts: 1,603
7/25/20 9:04 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
it's been a long time!! hope you can take off those 5 pounds in 7 days. my goal is to lose about 1-2 pounds per week till all is off -- cutting out pretzels, dip, and ice cream. upping exercise.



 current weight: 220.0 
220
195
170
145
120
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
7/24/20 12:03 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
July 24 2020

My goal today to lose down from 220 to 215 in the next 7 days. My weight has been fluctuating a lot and it is time to get it regulated. This is a prime time for me take weight off because it is coming off by itself and then coming back like a ping pong ball. So we will see if I can take advantage of that by getting it directed toward a purpose.

Got a new plan. Feeling motivated.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
3/30/20 7:39 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
maybe you live in an illusion of permanence, but I have never lived believing any thing is permanent. My whole life I have had things taken away from me -- jobs, friends, education, and things stolen from me. I have lost weight only to gain it back. my reality is totally different than yours

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
3/29/20 9:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MARCH 29 2020

Well it has been two weeks quarantine from the corona virus. I am gaining some weight and getting negatively affected by being in the house all the time. My granddaughter comes to my house mon thru friday as her school is closed. My sciatic nerve in my back has gone out as it does every few years so now I am in bed all the time and cannot lift heavy things or do much housework!!! For goodness sake!


But I realize things could be much worse and may get worse.

I suddenly realize how fast a civilization could go down if attacked by a plague or a big climate change or something. Or a war .And how close death always is---and how temporary life really is. And how dependent and interdependent we are on each other and on the infrastructure that supports us . How precarious existence is here, and how fleeting security is. We live in an illusion of permanence.

Every moment of security and love is to be enjoyed.

I love my life in this little town with my daughter and granddaughter. I like my little apartment. It is homey and cozy . I am grateful for my two beloved children.

I am grateful for this beautiful spring weather.

I am grateful for one more day of comfort and happiness.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
3/15/20 9:01 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I want to do things as best as I can. not perfect. just be the best I can be in all that I do

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
3/14/20 1:37 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MARCH 14 2020 SATURDAY

I don't have to do it well. I just have to do it. I can do that today.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
3/14/20 7:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
well it is time to do something about it. My depression went away with a combination of exercise and therapy. do you need meds -- take them. they work. talk with a therapist. you do not need to live with depression

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
3/13/20 12:14 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MARCH 13 FRIDAY 2020

Well it is a nice spring day here in Arkansas! The trees are blooming and its pretty. We had rain last night . I am losing weight this week! I started eating fish and rice and salad and it is making a big difference. I am really pleased.

Yeah, Gwyn, depression is an old friend of mine. About 50 years now.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
3/11/20 6:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I suffered from depression for many years and I got counseling and that helped. If you are bi-polar you need to get on your medication. I also found counseling helped a lot. Also exercise helps with the depression. Once I make up my mind to get something I always achieve it.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
3/10/20 11:51 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MARCH 10 TUESDAY AM

Hello Gwyn and Khalia, Welcome Khalia to this board and thank you for posting. Tell us about yourself if you like, how are you doing?

How is it going Gwyn? I will try to get over to your board and read up a bit on you today.

My depression is a bit better because I got out to my daughter's place in the woods over the weekend and was pretty busy helping out with her housework, burning leaves and boxes outside, and dealing with my granddaughter. I like to get out there once a week and help out. I need a volunteer part time job desperately and doing this for my daughter seems to be the best job for me in many ways. I hve to get out of the house.

I have offered to drive for the lady across the way from me also. She is getting quite elderly and has a car, but I don't. She has expressed some interest in it so we will see if God has that for us.

I have let my eating slide for 6 weeks now and I must get it together. I will try to count calories today and cut my food in half. I have an overeating habit that kicks in when I don't pay attention to it. I have been focused on other things. I am learning I cannot really afford to loosen my focus concerning my fitness program. But I do get distracted by other things-- I do not multitask very well. It is sort of one thing at a time.

I was dismayed that I have gained 4 lb back in the last couple of weeks. I was really upset, but today I checked my ticker and saw that I actually started out at 235 in October, and today I am 224, so I have still lost 11 pounds, and I happy with that! I forgot. So I adjusted my ticker to show that I started at 235, and I won't forget again. All is not lost when I am imperfect or backslide a bit. I need to know that.

Today I will see if I can RE-FOCUS on fitness.

Best to both of you. So nice to see you here. Sarah



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
3/7/20 9:30 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I want to stay in touch with you so I give it a whirl being your diet buddy --
Might I say that it is your bi-polar disorder that keeps on bringing your depression back again. do you take any meds for it? and do you take them as prescribed by your doctor?

KHALIA2 Posts: 15,148
3/6/20 5:11 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thankful that I don't have sleep anea!!!!!!!!

KHALIA2 Posts: 15,148
3/6/20 5:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks and same to you!!!!!!!!

KHALIA2 Posts: 15,148
3/6/20 5:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
GREAT JOB!!!!! I would NOT give up mine either!!!!!!!!!

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
3/6/20 12:56 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MARCH 6 2020 FRIDAY

GWYN I am sorry I am not reliable enough for you. This is the best I can offer.I have to use my journal the best way it serves me. You might want to seek another diet buddy.

I am plodding along with my current depression which seems to be very long lasting. Everytime I get rid of it, it comes back. It is just one of those. I am worried about my son and grandson and in fact my whole family, but that is nothing new. The depression is making it worse than it probably is today. My judgement of things is off when I am depressed. My meds are helping tho and I will be fine. It's just another depression.

I gained a few pounds in February and am slowing down my eating in March.I am going to OA chat meetings online. They help so I don't feel so alone. I am not getting out of the house and walking, I have kind of given up on that. The depression drains any motivation I have for that.

But all I have to do is get thru it. I don't have to do it well. I just have to do it. That is my mantra and it allows me to keep going. I hope to take off those pounds I gained in Feb and lose a little this month. I am pretty sure I can do the first. Possibly the second.But I will be satisfied with just the first. I am pretty sure I can do that much. It will be enough. So that is my goal.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/28/20 6:17 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
where are youj? I need someone to be reliable. thanks

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/27/20 8:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
sorry your neighbor made you lose it. I don't let people get to me any more. I believe in Karma -- what goes around comes around.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
2/27/20 11:30 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
FEB 27, 2020 THURSDAY

Hello. Hi Gwyn. Glad you are getting fitted for your apparatus for your sleep apnea. I hope it helps a lot.

I have been to my daughter's house this week and that was helpful to me. I have been depressed and lonely lately and I need to get out of the house and be with other people. I get to spend a day out in the woods at their house, and that is good for me. And I can help her out with her housework when I am there. She is a single working mom and tired all the time. So I feel needed and occupied. It can be a part time volunteer job for me. So we are getting our new routines worked out since I moved here 3 months ago.

IN another life, I think I would have been perfectly happy to be a live in housekeeper for some nice people. I find domestic work very security producing.

I eat less and exercise more at my daughter's house. So that was good for me too. hope it will help me to keep my fitness lifestyle in place. Emotional issues interfere with fitness big time.Being lonely and depressed and isolated in my apartment is just not going to work. I have to get a more balanced life and I am working on it.

I have my second radio podcast to do today. I will enjoy that.

Have a good day all! and just keep going. That is what I am doing.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/26/20 7:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
so how are you doing. still want to be diet buddies?

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/21/20 6:11 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I exercise 4-6 times a week. I track my food daily -- even when I make mistakes. I am going to up my exercise to 30 minutes a day

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
2/20/20 9:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
FEB 20 2020

OK thanks for that info on sleep apnea Gwyn. I may be thinking of something else not sleep apnea.

Yesterday I posted my first podcast in 4 years! I broke my leg at that time and did not work for a long time afterward. I am a writer. It interrupted my writing and radio work for a long time. So I am trying to re-establish it now. I am very pleased that I got that podcast done. I hope to be able to do it every week.

I moved near my daughter 3 months ago and am creating a new life here. This month I have gotten off focus with my fitness program but today I will try to get back on it with calorie counting. Half the month is gone---no more than that---and am not going to make my month goal if I don't get on it right now.I am not too good at multitasking, and get distracted if I focus on other things. But now that I am moved and settled, I can create continuous routines that will make that easier. Life is so much better here and I am so happy to be here.

Today I will focus on calorie counting. The truth is, for me, when that goes out the window, everything goes out the window. It is the bottom line of my fitness program. If i establish that one thing today, I will have done well and will feel much better tomorrow, and much more hopeful.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/19/20 6:22 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
you either have sleep apnea or you don't have sleep apnea. some people need cpap machines or bipap machines others don't. sleep apnea doesn't just go away and then come back agiain

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
2/18/20 10:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
FEB 18 2020 TUESDAY

Hello it has been six days since I posted on here .I am trying to pull myself together. It takes me time to pull out of a depression and get organized again. It disrupts my daily schedule and it takes me time to re-establish it. LIfe is habit, and I have to re-establish my fitness habits every time. Can't be helped.

Thanks WCNGIRL for posting on my board. BP in the family is like a plague but it is manageable most of the time, but yes it is usually inherited and I have heard it is 100% inheritable, no one in the family escapes it. In my family, we have it at different levels each one. I am a single mom with 2 grown kids, and they each have it but my daughter has it worse it seems and she has been on meds since her 20's. Thank goodness for those meds or she would not be able to keep a job. I was really scared for both my kids on that account because I wound up on disability at age 40. But better meds were available for them, and my son did not seem to need them...at least he got by without meds somehow. But he has suffered with depression and they both suffered from mine. I worried so much for both of them. Now they are in their 40's and very independent, and handling their own lives and conditions. I have an autistic grandson, tho, and a granddaughter who has been somewhat ADHD, altho she is much recovered at age 11 and getting more normal all the time, it seems. I had no idea I was handing down these illnesses by having babies or I would not have had them. I am just grateful God has been with me thru it all and it is no worse than it is. We handle our conditions as responsibly as we possibly can. That is all anyone can do. Everybody has challenges in life. It could be worse.

A good fitness program as well as a good attitude goes a long long way toward establishing normalcy in a life with challenges .A good schedule, developing good daily habits, makes a world of difference. Exercise is amazingly good for mental health. Depression and obesity are problems that commonly go together. It's the low metabolism, the low energy level that can create a bad cycle. When I was young, I was thin and energetic, probably manic a lot. But now at 67, my thyroid is low and there is not much energy to work with. I miss my mania! But that's OK. I am learning to diet the Spark way, losing 3-4 lb a month.Actually that method is totally foreign to me, but I am learning to do it because it is all that is left.

Sleep apnea comes with obesity in my experience! It seems to be very common. I notice I have it when I overeat especially before bed. But when I reduce my eating, it goes away accordingly. Does that work for you, Gwyn?

Today I am up and on my daily schedule. I am establishing some new things in the schedule. I read an article at Spark this morning about 8 ways to get activity if you work from home, which I do. I will try to walk around the block before I work and at the end of my work hours, as a sub for the commute. That was a recommendation. That sounds like a good habit to create. And today I will try to establish definite work hours to start and stop. I enjoy my days when they are well managed and orderly. Since I am home all the time, that is very important for me to feel productive.

I do not have a car and cannot afford to buy one on my social security income. I try to save money for it, but it is really asking a lot to save that much out of such a small monthly income. And then afterward, all the costs...but I live in a retirement community where most people are older than me. I like one of the ladies and I think she has a car, but like many people here she is pretty old to drive and hardly gets out. I may approach her with an offer to drive both of us to shop once, and see how that works out.

Well we will see. Hope you both have a good day and a fit day. sarah





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/17/20 6:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
where are you? do you still want to do diet buddy? how's it going

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/13/20 7:06 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have two friends who are bi-polar. I suffered from dysthymia for a long time -- went undiagnosed for many years. Now I am doing pretty good in that department. just found out I have sleep apnea

WNCGIRL's Photo WNCGIRL SparkPoints: (52,104)
Fitness Minutes: (36,697)
Posts: 1,911
2/12/20 8:32 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Depression is hard to deal with. I have been a little depressed all my life. My son is Bipolar. I think sometimes the other one is too.



 current weight: 227.4 
230
225.25
220.5
215.75
211
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
2/12/20 1:14 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
FEB 12 2020

Hello I have been in a depression cycle and it took me offline awhile. I am bipolar but it's not much up anymore, just the down. My antidepressants destroyed my thyroid gland so I don't have much energy but I take a thyroid pill and I have enough energy to get by. I cannot depend on burning a lot of calories anymore so I have to lean more on cutting my eating. So I am like you, Gwyn. If I disappear a while it is usually illness but I will always be back.

I am coming out of the depression today and that is always a good feeling. I hope to work a while today ----on my radio podcast, that is. I want to start podcasting again.

I am with you, my focus for losing weight is the calories, and cutting the portions is number one. I am fairly good about eating healthy food altho I do use the carbs a lot when I don't want to cook. I get lazy about cooking . But this week I bought a lot of salad stuff and am trying to eat that. I am eating a lot of cottage cheese too.
When I am depressed I generally gain weight. I cannot make myself care when I am depressed. But the depression always goes away and I just factor it into my time schedule for losing weight .I know I will regain some weight due to depression cycles. Can't be helped. They interrupt everything. Just get back up on the horse when its over and keep riding.

Glad to be feeling better today, thank you for asking. Got any specific plans in mind for your diet this today? I think I will eat some salad today. I have some imitation crab and will make a crab salad on spinach and lettuce. Then I will let myself have a little ice cream as a treat. Valentine's day is making me want chocolate and I am trying not to buy a box of chocolate.

Talk later have a good day. Let me know how you are doing. sarah

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/12/20 6:24 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
didn't get an email regarding the post. good morning. how are you

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/10/20 6:20 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
so how are you? do you still want to be diet buddy? are you serious about this?

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/9/20 8:37 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I need to sit down and up my protein intake, cut calories and carbs. I am not dealing with stress but the amount i eat is more than what I should eat

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
2/8/20 10:21 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
FEB 8 2020

A week has gone by and I am just trying to get organized for this month. I tried to alter my sleep schedule and that was disastrous. I need my daily early morning schedule. I am really dependent on a good sleep pattern. I notice it is the beginning of everything for me as far as my fitness program. In losing weight, I find my self focusing more on sleep than food. If my sleep and exercise are balanced, the food balances itself.

I am going for serenity and happiness in my daily life and learning to create them. I have to start and do it where I am. I can't wait for something to start, not anymore. I tried to line up a good basic life and I have done it . It tried to take care of business, take care of pressing needs and responsibilities, get things out of the way, and I have done it. Now it is time to live. I am 67. It seems like it took me a long time to get settled in life. But oh well here we are. I had a lot of challenges.

Learning to focus and create my daily reality is my job now. To manage my thoughts, my moods. I am bipolar and so that is a task I have to deal with everyday.

I am trying to figure it all out. Reading Seth, learning about the nature of reality, of consciousness.

My goal is to create this smooth pleasant existence for myself and I am getting there, anyway I am making progress. When I succeed in that, good eating and healthy living follows easily it seems. It's like they come together.

Gwyn, I know you are frustrated with not losing weight. I sympathize totally! I am losing 3 or 4 pounds a month and as long as that keeps up, I will be satisfied with it. Maybe you need your carbs and sugars because you feel stressed and they relieve you and make you feel better. I don't know, I am just guessing, because I deal with that all the time. I find that facing and managing life's stresses directly can relieve the need for those carbs and sugars. I am dealing with a big one, lonliness. I am working on it. I have Kate my granddaughter on the weekend, babysitting, and that is helping a lot.She is a joy. And I am seeking a part time volunteer job at the senior center where I think I may find companionship-- and exercise. It is hard for me to get out there and seek that job. I have been isolated so long and people scare me but I am doing it. I hope it works! I will keep you posted. You do the same! Let me know how you are doing!

sarah



Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 2/8/2020 (10:24)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
2/1/20 8:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am not losing. I wish I were. I need to cut calories and carbs

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/31/20 1:22 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JAN 31 FRIDAY DAY--OFFICIAL WEIGH DAY!

Well I weighed and the news is better than I hoped. I have dropped 4 lb on the scale in January! That is very acceptable. and that makes a total of 14-15 lb lost since October, an average of 4 lb per month which is perfectly acceptable.I am happy with that. It is slower than I used to lose in the young days but I am not young anymore. If I keep losing at this pace, that will be 44 more pounds gone by Jan 2021, total of 58 lbs lost, and that is great! By Jan of 2022 I will be there at my final goal of 100 lb lost and at my ideal weight. I feel great about this. It can work.

Hallelujah! It will be a great two years.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/29/20 6:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Here is what I have learned. losing weight should be a slow process -- losing about 1/2 pound to 2 pounds a week. If you lose quickly you will gain the weight back -- so losing 3 pounds in 3 days probably will not stick as you will probably go back to your old eating habits

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/28/20 11:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JANUARY 28 TUESDAY 2020

My weight loss goal for Jan 31 is 219 pounds. I am at 221 today so I have two pounds to drop in three days. I can do that. Cut my food in half and no bread. Exercise normally. Should do it. Right now my normal exercise is to walk around the block, a very large and uphill block. Trying to get out of the house everyday and get that fresh air and some exercise. I do not enjoy that walk especially. It's boring for one thing and I do not like going outside to walk and having to possibly encounter my unpleasant neighbor, but actually I have never encountered him on my walk, altho he walks a lot. But probably not the same direction. I will comfort myself with that.

I will count calories, reduce my portions, and lay off bread for three days and see what happens. I am fortunate that I do lose weight easily. I also gain it back easily. So I have to make an effort and have a program. Over time, I keep gaining if left to my own eating impulses. Altho...I have just read a book about impulses and it said to follow our impulses which I am practicing in other areas of my life and it seems to be working. It said our impulses will lead us to our highest values. So maybe I will re-examine my eating impulses to see what they really are. Maybe I am not listening.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/28/20 6:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
track my food every day---do both calories and WW points. calories makes more sense to me

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/27/20 11:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JANUARY 27 MONDAY

Good morning! Got six hours of sleep and maybe this is a start for a good sleep pattern this week. Conflict seems to be melting away all around me YAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

I have a list of things to do today which is not too bad. Yesterday I did really well doing some things I had put off a long time. So just follow the program and the program will carry me

I finished reading my book that I want to do my radio podcast on last nigh and it is time to start some real work to put that together. I have misgivings inside , Oh nobody will listen to it, and so forth, but that book I read dismissed those thoughts and said to act on impulse to fulfill my ideal values. AT least make a stab at it. So I can do that.

Counting calories yesterday and today helps a lot.I plan to make my weight loss goal for Jan 31 on Friday. Today is MOnday. I can definitely do it.

Happy MOnday y'all!

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/26/20 2:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
never had kids -- I never had a serious relationship with a man until I was much older. did not want to be a single mom. glad I was not a single mom. very hard.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/26/20 2:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JANUARY 26 SUNDAY

Hi Gwyn! Thanks for asking how I am. I spent some time at my daughter's place in the woods in the middle of the week so I have been offline. I got my serenity back there in the woods. It is quiet and peaceful. It rained. It was nice.

When I came back the situation with the neighbor was resolved! I had been praying and that works for me. I give things to God, but I understand that does not work for all people and I was an atheist for years, so I respect that totally. But anyway it helped me let go of my anger that was really bothering me. I hate conflict. If I can give it to God, I can relax. And then it seems the problem resolves itself. I say God resolved it. Whatever.

Well when I came back, the manager had had time to deal with it and he did to my great surprise and happiness, and things are much better now. My life in my apartment is much less stressful now that they have disciplined the neighbor. (sigh!) YAY.

Now my daughter has a problem going and I am trying to lay low and not get involved in that. It's not entirely easy for me as it involves my granddaughter. But I have to let go of that and let my daughter deal with her life and ask me for help when she needs it. I know she needs me to leave her alone right now. I have called her twice this weekend and it only irritated her, I will just have to stop calling her for awhile. If she needs me she will contact me. have things to do in my own life anyway, such as post on this message board and get in control of my Spark program again. It has gotten out of hand the last few days.

There is one week left to this month and I want to make my weight loss goal by Jan 31. If I don't get in control this week, I will regain and not make my goal. I gained a couple pounds in the last few days. So I must get re-focused. Posting on this journal is my go-to for managing my fitness program. It is my first line of defense, it helps me a lot to organize myself and remind myself to eat right and exercise. It aligns my thinking to fitness.

So good! It is all good. I hope to claim 5 lb lost in January and re-set my little turtle weight tracker. And I WILL! It is IMPORTANT. My life is important. My concerns are important. My health is important, my mood is important, my happiness is important, my work is important, my food is important, my exercise is important.

My daughter told me to get a life. She and my granddaughter cannot be my whole life, she said. They can't entertain me that much.She is right.

So I am off to count calories and get dressed, walk around the block, and clean the bathroom and wash the dishes and work on my radio show.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/25/20 4:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I did not get an email about this. don't let your neighbor get to you. how are you?

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/20/20 6:02 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
As I have said before, I don't believe in God. God was never there for me

GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/20/20 5:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I write to help with pain. I also received therapy for problems and that ahelped a lot

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/19/20 6:33 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JANUARY 19 2020 SUNDAY

Trying to restore my serenity today. My neighbor made me lose my cool yesterday. I hate conflict and it stays with me a long time. I am praying and letting it go with the help of God. I have to recite a prayer to fill my mind with other thoughts. Once I got over the pain of a divorce that way. I carried an orange in my pocket and squeezed it every time I had painful thoughts, and recited the Hail Mary. Worked amazingly well. I have an apple. Maybe I will use that.

My granddaughter is coming tomorrow. I will enjoy that. She is so sweet.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/19/20 1:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have not gottenflu in ages but it was free so I got it

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/19/20 12:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JANUARY 19 2020

Hi Gwyn! Glad you had your flu shot. I only get flu every few years usually so I avoid the shot.

Today I weighted at 219, which is good. I would love to make 215 by the end of the month, but that would be ten pounds in one month and that is a lot. We will see. I don't expect to, really but I won't say no if it happens!

My life is ok. I am learning to let go and let God.

It is a nice day today, sunny winter day. Maybe I will get some oranges today.







We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/19/20 7:28 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
was wondering where you were. glad you are feeling better. had my flu shot.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/18/20 12:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JAN 18 2020 SATURDAY

GOOD MORNING 2020!

I spent the first two weeks of the new year down with the flu and am just getting going now! My whole family is going thru the flu. Some had it quick, others long and drawn out, and others in between.I had it long but am recovering well now and so grateful! It really makes you grateful to get up and be over it and feel normal again.

I lost 8 lb with the flu but now am gaining back since I am eating again, and I have gained 3 back. But I can hold at least that 5 lb off I am sure for the rest of the month, and that is fine. Overall, my fitness program since the fall is on schedule and going well. I have had many interruptions to steady eating, exercise, and weight loss in that time. It has been unsteady due to moving, unpacking, the holidays, and then getting the flu. But that's life. Life does not seem to be a slow steady stream for me. It is a series of disrupting things to deal with , so often. But I aim for the well managed steady stream and try to maintain order overall.

I look forward to establishing some exercise now as I have been unwell and inert for two weeks. I can build up to it as I have done so many times before. That's life.
You get knocked down, you get back up and keep going, and eventually you get there.

I have a life that has taught me to expect and incorporate knocks and bumps and interruptions. I am bipolar so the interrupting depression ready to strike at any time is part of the landscape for me. That was hard to accept and incorporate into a productive life, but I did it. It is frustrating to incorporate into a fitness program too. But I did it. And I can incorporate the rest of life too.

You what is going to see me to the end of my fitness goals? PATIENCE.

PATIENCE
PATIENCE
PATIENCE

And the ability to persevere after loss.

I must not aim for the perfect program to do it for me. I cannot buy, build, or force that program. I used to aim for the perfect program. If I could just discipline myself enough, well enough, I would be perfect and my life would work. If I could not, it was my fault. I was bad, faulty, I had failed again.

But I was only failing at what cannot be done. If I cannot do it then it cannot be done-- in my life. That' is all that counts. I don't live someone elses life. I live mine.

What works in my life is perseverance over time and thru many disruptions which cause interruption and backtracking. Eventually these little interruptions become just that----little interruptions.Because I am gong for the big haul----the longterm goal-----the deep overall lifestyle change.I am going for 100 lb lost and a different life free of the ball and chain of overeating/depression/defeat/exhaustion cycle that dominated my days.

I am beginning to feel free. And i am beginning to feel happy.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
1/1/20 10:11 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
happy new year to both of you. a one pound gain is really not bad for this time of year -- with the holidays and colder weather.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/1/20 8:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JANUARY 1 2020 NEW YEAR DAY

Well I am up and at it today! I have moved near my daughter and am babysitting my granddaughter thru school holidays and that has brought challenges---and many joys. Rome was not built in a day and I hope to exert some influence here to improve my grandchild's life. Her mom is a single mom and needs help. The child is living in social isolation except for school. She is an only child of a single mom living in the woods, in a rural area. We are emigrants here in the south, from the north. So we are a bit culturally different and sets it up right away---but its also the times. Kids are buried in individual electronics instead of playing outside with other kids as they did when I was a girl. I want my granddaughter to have a social life. I am trying to help her. I am inviting her friends over to my apartment to play her. Rome was not built in a day, but it was built day by day. And we will build our life here the same way. I cannot control other people, but I can offer friendship and reach out with generosity, pray, and hope for the best.

What I have to do is manage my own life and stay in control of my own life. When I lose my fitness program for very long, I am out of control of my life. It seems like it all goes at once--money, weight, stress, serenity.

The holidays are very disruptive really. They are a chance to rest, but who rests?
I tried to give my daughter a chance to rest by taking my granddaughter as much as I could. Now I am a bit worn out. I will have little Kate the rest of the week and Monday and then she goes back to school. But today my daughter is home for the holiday too, so I get a break. I am grateful for the day off. It is very difficult to entertain one child. It is much easier to take care of two who play together. So I am trying to get her some companions. Kate and I are going to invite some kids to a little club for her at my house on Saturdays after school starts.

Well the great news on fitness is that I gained only one pound over December! In Oct I lost 8 lb, in Nov I lost 4 lb, and in Dec I gained one pound. I am pleased with that. Today I count calories and continue a little exercise. Getting outside in that fresh winter air is great for me. Grandma cannot handle a marathon, but she can handle a short walk. And that is all that is necessary.
Have a great day!







We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
1/1/20 8:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Harry and Gwyn! Thanks for posting to me! I hope your new year holiday is nice and life is looking hopeful in this new year. Fitness makes everything better. I find that my fitness program is a good way to help keep my life organized in general and in control.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/21/19 9:04 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
walking is great and I am sorry your neighbor is giving you a hard time. I bet it is great to be by family

I_ROBOT's Photo I_ROBOT SparkPoints: (35,950)
Fitness Minutes: (28,060)
Posts: 2,241
12/20/19 11:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Walking is GREAT!

Harry - Moving along at the speed of fat loss.

The Bitter Truth About Sugar by Robert Lustig | Look for it on YouTube
Added sugar is addictive, a poison, and destroys teeth.

The Ticker below is actually My Waist to Height Ratio (WHtR) Greater than 53 = Bad news.


 Body Fat %: 52.4
53
51.25
49.5
47.75
46
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/19/19 9:15 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
DEC 19 2019 THURSDAY BEFORE XMAS

I can't get to a gym or any exercise equipment, but its not necessary for exercise. Walking is good and I also like the little videos at spark;

I am working thru a depression this week and doing very well! My granddaughter is coming for babysitting in the afternoons and I love that. I will have her for many days thru her holidays. She is 11. So up spirited! She is totally into slime. So Nana (me) spent a ton of money on it. Now I am stuck with it.

It is so great to live near my daughter and granddaughter. It means so much. We have waited a long time to be able to live close together. I am home and i waited a long time for that .

My neighbor is outside my windows wandering around already this morning. He cannot sit still for 5 minutes. I have no idea what he does out there. He darts out and in all day. I think he is just very nervous.

I have gained a few holiday pounds this month but its not too bad. It will be over pretty soon. I want to make some gingerbread men with my granddaughter, and then there will be xmas dinner, and she has a birthday on Monday and she wants a chocolate cake. SO I am probably looking at a couple of pounds there. But after that, things should even out. I am planning on eating a lot of soup in the near future .

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/17/19 6:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I joined a gym as I knew it would be the incentive to start exercising and it worked. some apartment complexes have gym equipment and I would suggest checking that out. Some libraries here in Minnesota have exercise equipment

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/16/19 12:21 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
DEC 16 2019 MONDAY

Yes it is hard to start an exercise routine! But not really. Just do it. Start small. That's ok. The starting small allowance is allowing me to hang in there. That is Spark guy's thing: do just a little . Keep doing it. Yesterday and today I walked around the block! YAY ME. This in spite of weakness, rain, and depression. I am pleased. I know it gets easier, just keep doing it. Back in spark this week recording calories and exercise and journaling. Re did my daily schedule this morning and printed it out. It hangs on the fridge so I don't forget things esp. in the morning when I am brain dead.

I reduced my required time for work on my radio show in the morning to just 30 minutes each day and that worked well today. When I start working, depression descends on me heavily and I have to push thru it, tho I want to do the project. That is the depression illness. I can handle it much better if I know it is only for 30 minutes at a time, and I avoid becoming exhausted. It is really exhausting to work thru a depression. Like walking thru water.

I chatted with a neighbor on the way back from my walk, another self-pitying old man. There but for the grace of God go I. I had an honest talk with my next door neighbor about the secondary smoke problem coming from his apartment, and he agreed to keep his bedroom door closed, and it seemed to make a difference last night! I thanked him enthusiastically.Sometimes a small thing makes a big difference.

Life seems manageable today! Ready for a good hot cup of tea and some TV. My reward!

Granddaughter coming today after school, I think. She is lovely. Last Friday she got slime in my hair! Oh I'm so sorry! she said. Oh that's Ok, I said. I need to get a haircut anyway!

Have a good day.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/16/19 6:02 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
it takes time to build up an exercise routine but you need to start. when I started exercising I was a smoker and it was very hard for me to move but I kept at it.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/15/19 2:26 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
DEC 15 2019 sunday

I was in a slump all week but today I feel better. i had a depression going and felt sick friday night. Could have been a bit of the flu. My eating got off and I stayed in the house, did not journal, did not spark. I am glad to have this journal to come back to and it keeps me focused on my fitness program. I cannot give up or it is over. I have gained a few pounds back but I think I can hold for the rest of December even with xmas, if I make an effort to walk each morning. My exercise level is not very high---I am not in good enough shape. But that does not matter. To do some everyday and be mindful of eating and stay on a daily schedule with work and activity will be sufficient to get to my goals.I just have to keep trying and not quit. I have depressions and they take me out for days at a time like this week, but they go away too. I will always have depressions, it's part of life for me .I know how to cope with them. I have to work them into my fitness program. They cannot be discounted. But they are not enough to stop my weight loss or exercise entirely they just slow it down, but that's ok. I have keep it all up adn I will be fine. I am determined to get a life! It is time to get a life. I have moved and I am working on creating activities for myself here in my new community. I have a senior citizen van coming Tues and Thurs starting this week to take me shopping regularly. That will help. I have created an internet radio show for myself once a week and I am preparing podcasts for January. I can log on to Spark every morning first thing to keep me motivated on focused. I am interested in a volunteer job in this community tutoring ESL. I have bought some books on decorative painting, a hobby I have always wanted to do. I have friends I write letters to adn family I see thru the week. I have to keep pushing and trying and it will work.

My smoking neighbor kept me up and awake last night with the stink of that nicotine. I will talk to him today and ask him to cooperate with me by not smoking in his bedroom at night.

Onward and upward!

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/11/19 6:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I want to knit and write. but those will have to come later on. right now I am working exercising and am going to take this weight off of me. have to go to gym. exercise 4-6- times a week

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/10/19 10:29 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Dec 10 2019 9 PM

Hi Gwynn. You wish you had stayed in Chicago.I relate! Hindsight! I wish so many things about the past. But you could not know then what you know now. That's life.

I was too depressed to work today, but I managed to get up and dress and do a few things. Then I prayed and watched TV. And I ate. It could have been worse, but it was not diet level.I just wanted to do something fun, something I would enjoy that would give me comfort. I found something inoffensive to watch on TV. I am trying to avoid negative feed like detective shows. I need to work. I am a writer. But I just did not have it in me to work today. And that has been true for about 4 years now, since I broke my leg. I am 67. I stayed single to do creative work in this lifetime. And now I cannot do it, and I don't know what to do about it. It used to pour out of me. I could depend on it. It made me the person I was. It was the best part of me. It made up for everything else. I was driven, and for me to be driven was to exist. To produce was to exist.

I have to think about this and pray and get an answer on how to deal with it. I used to want to teach, share, be part of the human race.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/10/19 6:08 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
sounds like you are getting into a new routine and that is good. I moved to chicago and then moved back to Minneapolis. I wish I had stayed in Chicago

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/9/19 10:29 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Dec 9 Monday 2019 9 AM

Well good news on the neighbor! We worked things out a bit and he won't be too bad with his smoking etc . He wanders around all the time outside, too, but I suggested he walk downtown to a coffee shop instead of hanging around in front of everybody's windows here . And he did. He is OK! He is not aggressive and wants to get along. So I am very relieved I won't be battling with my temper over him. God works things out.

Yesterday my daughter and granddaughter and I went xmas shopping. It is so good to be with them. They have birthdays this month too.

I am struggling with a little depression but working to stay on top of it. I will take my meds today and stay on my daily schedule and stay close to God, taking his advice. It is a bit hard to be stuck here in this tiny town with no transportation except my daughter. It is a burden on her to have to take me all the time. But Jerry the neighbor told me about a senior citizen center van and I will call today to see if I can find out about signing up with that for regular grocery shopping . That will help a lot .

I am glad I moved here. It was a very good move. It will take time to organize a full life here, but day by day I will get it done .I am starting on my daily work schedule at home. I am working on an internet radio program. I got my new headset in the mail and can begin now. It has been a long time since I created a podcast or actually since I worked seriously at all since I broke my leg nearly 4 years ago. What I need is to get busy. So I am trying to keep a full daily schedule and follow a timed schedule thru the day . I am going to start today to allow a time for crafts, also. I need a hobby as well as work. I have always wanted to do decorative painting on wood furniture. I have 3 books on it coming in the mail. I also have to sew my granddaughter's xmas present, a green velvet bed cover she asked for. I have to keep moving, otherwise I can fall into depression. I am bipolar.

In Jan I will start seriously saving money to buy a car. I have spent nearly all my savings in the last 6 weeks for the move, for furnishing the house, and for holidays and birthdays. I look forward to January, but December is fun too! I am with my family for holidays this year! It is wonderful to be with them.

I walked this morning on schedule and ate a piece of fruit for breakfast. Getting outside and getting fresh air and exercise is so good for depression. I will push thru this adjustment time in my new home when I am feeling a little lost.

Have a happy day. Sarah



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/5/19 7:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
oh living in apartments -- I don't like living in them but don't like a house either because I have to clean them.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/4/19 1:02 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
DEC 4 2019 NOON

Well I am not having a good day. I have a new neighbor in the apt. next to me and he is a chain smoker while smoke makes me sick. It comes thru the ventilation. We also have very little privacy out the front doors and he likes to go out on the porch and hang there in front of my glass door and look in my apt. This morning I told him not to do that and not in a friendly way. God must have some purpose for this neighbor in my life. I knew this would happen here. It is not a non smoking complex and not as strict a place as the last one. It is difficult to find good housing in HUD but you do your best.

This old man has obviously had a bad life. He is very timid and apologetic. We will learn to get along. He obviously has no idea how to act in a place like this. He is an old Arkansas country boy. He is outside right now and the lady from the apt next to me has just come over to talk to him and she raised her voice. I do not know what she said to him but it was probably something similar to what I said. He has been walking down the sidewalk as well as standing on our porch, invading other people's privacy all down the line no doubt. Well he is timid and hopefully he will learn.

I wish I did not have such a temper but I do. I wish I were more tolerant and calm all the time but when people invade my privacy I get very unhappy quickly. I have been praying for this man, tho. God will work it out.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
12/3/19 6:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
have never listed to a pod cast . need to figure out how to do that. I hate moving. My exercise routine is disrupted due to my work schedule but it will get done

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
12/2/19 2:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
DEC 2 2019 NOON

Well I had a nice thanksgiving with my loved ones. That was really nice. I do not get to be with them on holidays very often, but now that I have moved near them, it will be different .Life is much better living here near them . My fitness program went kerplunk, however, but still I weighed at the end of the month and I have lost 4 lbs in Nov, the second month of my fitness program, after losing 8 lb the first month . So I am very pleased with that. Considering it contained an eating holiday, that is good. December will be a challenge with christmas eating, but I hope to keep losing at a reasonable rate. The holidays are disrupting my schedule. Right before that, I moved, and that disrupted my schedule. There is always something to disrupt the schedule. It seems not one month goes by that it is not disrupted by something like that .I am coming to accept that. It's life! There is always something to disrupt my perfect schedule. I cannot depend on daily perfection. Disruptions are part of life. I just get up and get going again. The question is, how quickly do I recover from a disruption, and how much can I mitigate the disruption? Reinforcing my fitness habits over time will help me to sail thru changes without interrupting my whole life. I need to get a bit more disciplined and not allow outside things to upset my routines as much. I am a person who really needs routine.It is good to know yourself. I think I may work on keeping my healthy routines thru things like holidays and other changes. A bit more disciple, perhaps, and mindfulness. I can't just let life knock me around.

I work at home, and I have yet to re-establish a work routine after my move here a month ago. Before the move, work was disrupted for packing, and before that, for other things. That has to end. I have ordered a headset (earphones and microphone) for recording podcasts for my re-newed internet radio show. I am planning on taking up my work thru the radio again. It will help to connect me with other people. I am really looking forward to it.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
11/25/19 7:33 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
getting a good night's sleep is extremely important in losing weight. Measuring food is just as important as is writing down what you eat.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/25/19 2:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I had a big lunch again but OK! I walked a little afterward. I am learning how to measure and estimate my calories. It will take practice. It is better to have a big lunch than a big dinner .

Earlier is better, I am finding on a daily basis. Early to get up, eat, bathe, ...do everything

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/25/19 9:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOV 25 MONDAY 8:30 am

Had a good night's sleep! That is so helpful. I took a nice 45 minute walk yesterday evening, checking out my new neighborhood some more. Nice place.I like it here much better than the last town I was living in. I don't like a city.

Tomorrow my granddaughter will come to stay with me for the day, as she is off school for the holiday but her mom works. And Wed I go to their house for more of the same, and stay over for Thanksgiving. I am meeting my granddaughter's friends this week. I love kids but I have been isolated so long--I am nervous somehow! But it will be great for me. Back in the land of the living. I have waited a long time to settle near my daughter, and she has waited too while she changed jobs and moved around. So we are very happy to be reunited in the same community at last.

Lonliness has been a problem lately but this week will kick out some of that!

I walked to my daughter's office and met her colleagues last week--that was a big deal emotionally as I have been so isolated from people so long--but it was good. I have had it with isolation, but I am finding it is a little bit hard to come out of it. Isolation and overeating is really a whole lifestyle. I don't know exactly how I fell into it, but I did. And I did it till it hurt. I think I needed a long period of recovery time from some earlier trauma. and I needed closure on some issues, and I got it thru that long isolation.

I have been eating freely for two days and now I must get disciplined. I can lose pounds this week even tho it is Thanksgiving. One large meal won't interfere. I have the spark solution book and I will start the plan today. It is a two week plan.

I am intermittently dealing with some depressed thoughts, and I am giving them to God and taking medicine, and it works. I am grateful.

On this fitness program I am learning that I have to choose to be happy. That makes a big difference. Unhappiness can be a habit. Fitness is an entirely different way to live than obesity. And I have to make mental choices all day long and everyday. I CAN do this. And I AM doing it. And it's great. Every little step forward feels good.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
11/24/19 8:33 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
weight fluctuates from day to day -- too much salt, sodium, etc. don't worry about a small gain

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/24/19 5:08 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOV 24 2019 Sunday 3:30 AM

I am up facing my demons. Last evening I got ready for bed at 4:30 PM. I stood in my new apartment and emptiness hit me. I took some med for depression and cozied up in my recliner and watched TV--and ate. I just wanted to feel safe and secure .

My diet can recover from that eating. And I must recover from the emptiness.It will take some time to rebuild a life here in this new place, but that is my job.

I woke up as I sometimes do realizing how and why I have done certain things in the past, and it is hard to face. After dreaming I often wake with self realization or self awareness I did not have before. Things that were hidden from me. I suppose when we are ready to see things about ourselves, we see them. At first they are hard to face and make me despair, but after a little while thinking about it, I get some perspective.

I am having trouble walking with the arthritis damage I did during the move . A lot of stress on my joints. And then I overexercised this week and now I am paying for it. I took a long walk and it turned out to be too long. But I wanted to get out of the house.

The scale will climb today, but I can compensate for that this week and make my weight goal by Nov 30. I am close. I will do well to just make it since I moved this month and it took so much out of me. I am 67 and obese. I am doing fine.

Sometimes it is hard to face my shortcomings or disadvantages, but other people have shortcomings and disadvantages, too. This is life. I watch a lot of foreign films, and I like the French culture. They accept people with less criticism and judgement than we do in America. They seem to know that life makes you neurotic, and they celebrate it.

I have to learn to stop judging myself so hard and to stop expecting life to be perfect. I have to become more accepting of things as they are.

Once my daughter told me that her friend who was losing weight with Yoga said that as she lost weight, memories and emotional issues came to her. It's like she was peeling back all the buried stuff, buried by eating and stored in fat.Those things can be disturbing, but I have always wanted to face the truth. Sometimes it breaks your heart. But you go on.





We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/23/19 10:03 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOVEMBER 23 2019 SATURDAY 8:30 am

Good morning! The scale is registering 221.5 lb this morning! YAY ME. My close monitoring of my eating yesterday worked!

Gwyn I am really glad your doctor will help you with an eating plan. My doctor won't do that. When I talk to him about my weight, he just looks blank and says nothing. So I have to do it myself. But I have spark to help me.

I am 1.5 lb from my November goal. So I have one week to lose 1.5 lb and hold it there. I will be so happy when I can report 220 lb on the scale! That will be 15 lb lost from where I started just 2 months ago. I am going for 8 lb a month and I am very pleased with it.

It seems slow now, and I do not see big changes in myself yet in the mirror and so forth, but it will come. Time is my friend!

At this point in my life, the biggest reason I have to lose weight is my arthritis. It is getting so bad with this obesity that I have difficulty walking. I do not want to end up in a wheel chair, but I am headed for it and not before long if I do not lose weight now. It is so weird when I used to be a dancer. I want that body back! I want my body back and my identity back! I cannot get younger, but I can get thin and fit. I know that my face will look older when I lose all the weight. I can see it on others. I am 67 and I am prepared for that.

Today I will see my daughter and granddaughter and go to their house to visit and see her new sofa. We will move some large items from my house to her shed to be stored. So I will pass up my walking exercise today. I have pushed it a little past my limit anyway. That is something I have to watch. I tend to overdo something when I do it. Moderation makes me impatient!

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 11/23/2019 (10:06)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
11/23/19 8:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have been exercising for about 15 - 20 years. I even exercise when hubby and I go out of town. I have found it to be very help full

My doctor and I are going to come up with a plan to help me with eating



SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/22/19 2:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOVEMBER 22 FRIDAY 2019 1 PM

OK this is my after lunch journal! My daughter came over and she brought bbq ribs for lunch! I cooked mashed potatoes and fried zucchini and corn to go with it. If I had cut all my portions in half I would have been fine but I forgot! The ribs make me forget! I love ribs. So I took in over a thousand calories for lunch! I added it up afterward and could not believe it! I am using smaller plates for lunch but that is not enough.

I am still under my total allotment for the day, however, and this was the big meal of the day. I will allow myself 100 calories at snack time this evening and skip supper. I will time the snack no later than 7 PM. That should allow me to be hungry enough for breakfast tomorrow and not make me gain any weight for the morning scale. I walked a little this morning in the nice wet cool refreshing November air and burned a few calories and more importantly exercised my body a little and got some fresh air. I might walk a little now, after lunch. That is a good idea. After the marathon walk yesterday I can only do a little today, but two moderate walks is very good in one day.

I am too full right now, more than I like to be, but it will subside and the walk will help. My arthritis is doing well today. I hope to drop at least one more pound tomorrow morning. I will think about that tonite when I eat my last meal. Maybe a banana would make a good evening meal for me today.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/22/19 11:13 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOVEMBER 22 2019 FRIDAY 9:30 AM

The scale registers 4 lb lower than yesterday! YAY. I walked a good two hours yesterday and that did it. I also cut down my calories yesterday by watching my portions.
At 1300 calories for the whole day, I still ate more than I would have liked to, but I added the calories AFTER i ate at lunch and did not realize how high in calories my sandwich was until after I ate it. I am learning that is too late! My lunch added up to 7 or 8 hundred calories! No wonder I felt so full! But I was very hungry due to the long walk in the morning. I will get these things regulated day by day. Now I know I must eat half of that sandwich. It is healthy and delicious, but healthy things can be rather high in calories too, such as good bread.

I am working out my daily schedule since I have moved here. I see my daughter now almost daily and in fact she comes over for lunch most days. So I have to work that in, and re-establish exercise and sparking. I have added sparking to my morning activities. Being able to share my life here on this journal does a lot for me. I can't do this alone! I have lived an isolated disabled life a long time, and it has ended up in obesity and lonliness. I have had enough of that.

I was really happy to learn that I am physically capable of walking all the way downtown from my apartment. I cannot walk back, however, as it is uphill and a fairly long walk. My daughter works downtown and if I time my walk right, I can arrive at her office at noon and she can take me home. Then we can have lunch. I may make that a routine. My arthritic knee and ankle held up for the walk and do not hurt today. I wrapped them to give them support while i walked. I keep my leg elevated at home and the knee seems to be healing slowly when I do that.

I am guarding my health by drinking orange juice. The weather is very wet and a bit cold, and I started to feel a sore throat yesterday evening. So I drank hot tea and orange juice. One thing I do not agree with the experts today is that fruit juice is bad for you. I do not agree with that. They are concerned about the sugar level, but the vitamins are so important and so good for you, that I am not concerned about the sugar. I am not diabetic thank heavens. I do not take in much sugar in my regular diet and I find that I have to get some sugar somewhere, otherwise I get run down and tired and depressed. Sugar give a natural lift and if it is fructose it is in a good form. Drinking fruit juice is so much better than drinking soda. I find that a small amount of fruit juice will satisfy a desire for sugar, and it is fortified with all that vitamin C. I avoided the sore throat last night with a few small glasses of orange juice. Sometimes I crush vitamin C tablets and add them to my orange juice when I feel a cold coming on. If I blend it in a blender, it gets frothy and tastes like a delicious soda drink. If you have a sore throat and drink this, you can feel the infection recede with every swallow. I do not pay attention to fads in medicine or food or health. I use my common sense. They are always coming up with some silly new idea and everybody jumps on the bandwagon, even the doctors. Then years later, they will abandon that idea or say something opposite. I am 67 and I have seen this come and go. You have to use your own common sense and stick with the things that work.

Gwyn, I am proud for you that you exercise 4-6 times a week! You seem to have that down very well. I see that food is your nemesis, perhaps snacking. One thing I do is to guard against my own weaknesses by planning for them. I do not expect to eliminate them. That is not going to happen. So I counteract them by for instance planning some low calorie snacks and having them in place to substitute for the high calorie ones. They have to taste good and they have to be convenient and easy to reach. I am relying on popcorn as a snack especially at night and I think it has helped. I want to eliminate my night eating, but when I get hungry at night I can go into mania and not sleep all night unless I eat. That is the bipolar condition complicating my eating. So what I need to do is to time my dinner so I go to bed not hungry, and fall asleep soon so I don't have time to get hungry after going to bed. I may go to bed early but stay awake a long time reading or writing a letter. If I stay awake too long, I will get hungry and that scares me that I will go into mania and not sleep all night. That can throw my whole schedule off for weeks. So it takes a lot of planning and daily monitoring.

Being at home, not going to a job outside the house, is a challenge. You have to create a healthy activity and sleep routine that resembles a normal working routine for regular people. After 20 years at home I have created work for myself. I am a writer. But I always have to create a new project when the last one is done. It is best to have regulated hours during the day when I work. During those hours I can do anything related to my work. This is really important psychologically for me, and in addition, I accomplish things of which I can be proud. I am self published and have 15 books on the market. They do not sell, but they are there and I am proud of them. Making money is not my priority. I tried for a while, but it is very difficult to become successful as a self published author. But there are so many people on the net who create work or hobbies or skills online and become very good at them, and they are proud of their work and respected by others who engage in that kind of work, too. I have always thought about non profit work and have often done volunteer work of different kinds. I am thinking about creating a non profit business still.

Well I will get on to my morning schedule now. I will skip breakfast because I did eat late last night, but I did measure that food, so it did not prevent me from dropping pounds on the scale this morning. Measureing and counting calories is really effective for me. I have discovered that I am taking in far more calories than I realize, and just becoming aware of that is helping a lot.

Hope you have a nice day, all!






We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
11/22/19 7:10 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I exercise 4-6 times a week. I don't have "rules" as much as I write about what I want. I also believe in the law of attraction and the laws of cause and affect. What you send out to the world comes back to you 7 times.

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/21/19 12:58 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOVEMBER 21 THURSDAY noon

OK I took a long walk down hill all the way to downtown and stopped by my daughter's office! She gave me a ride back home. But first I had a look around downtown in this little rural town which has three second hand shops downtown, an old stone court house, and a few little businesses. It is a cute town . I met all my daughter's colleagues and they are a very nice bunch of people at a family business. I also went shopping at the Methodist thrift store and bought some treasures at great prices.

My daughter gave me a cup of hot tea while I was there but I have had no other calories today. I am not on a schedule to eat breakfast yet, but I hope to be soon, as soon as I stop my night eating, which I hope will be tonite.

I will fix lunch now and try to eat half portions. Small portions is just a habit like everything else, and has to be cultivated . Before I can reinforce the habit, I have to start! Starting is the hard part. But I have started and restarted half portions several times in the last 2 months so It won't take so long to get it going again.

It feels so great to have a light stomach, not a heavy one! I can always have a snack or another portion later if I am hungry and need it.

I burned a lot of calories I do not usually burn today, and got great exercise. I walked much further than I planned to. Now I am ready for a half portion lunch and a rest. I will watch my show on TV now that I have internet, Endeavour. I may log on and post again today. It helps to stay very close to my program when establishing it.

Hope everyone is having a very nice day.



We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/21/19 9:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOVEMBER 21, 2019 THURSDAY 8:30 am

Hi Gwyn, I am glad your weight is holding! I hit 221 this month too, but have gained back in the week since then, today at 227. I have been engaging in night eating this week. I need to regulate the times I eat meals. I am having to re-establish my daily schedule since I moved. But I am up in the morning and that is a good start.

I got out of bed without depression or daydreaming about sad things this morning! That is a bad early morning habit of mine. I will try to break it. I will tell myself I will assign myself a daydream time later or I will allow myself to think about those things later during prayer, when I have God to monitor my thoughts. That is a good idea.

I have some chips and cheetos in the house that I have overeaten at night twice this week, and so they went in the garbage this morning. I have a rule that if I overeat something twice, it goes in the garbage.

Rules really help me . I have made rules all my adult life for myself, and it works for me. I keep a running list of rules or suggestions about my fitness program. I did this years ago when I lost 53 lb, and I am doing it now. I re-read that list when I get unsteady in my program and it helps give me an idea to get back on course. And I usually write in a new one. Everytime I solve an eating or exercise issue, I write down on this list how I solved it. Then I can learn from my mistakes and lessons and alter my behavior.

I will write down this new one about saving my sad life review in the early morning for prayer time instead of allowing it to keep me in bed and make me depressed in the morning. I am bipolar and depression is a daily factor for me to monitor, so it is definitely one of my issues I have to monitor for my fitness program. My obesity was caused by my bipolar condition and the meds I had to take for it, and my condition makes it difficult to lose weight, but not impossible if I commit for the long haul. I am committed to a one year fitness program to lose 100 lb. at 8 lb a month, average. I started in late September and since then have lost 10 pounds. So I am on track.

I have arthritis now that is seriously compromising how much I can walk. I have been in the house in a recliner letting my knee heal after the pressure I put on it with the move, lifting heavy boxes. I am already putting 100 lb of pressure on that arthritic knee and all my joints because I am overweight .I should have known I would damage my joints with all that lifting but I didn't. Now I know.

There is only one real solution to my arthritis at this point and that is to lose a serious amount of weight. Otherwise, it does not heal. It just ebbs and flows.

I will try a little walking outside today and see how I do. If I wrap the joints, it is easier on them.

I will also try to cut my portions in half today and not eat after I go to bed. We will see how that does.

It is raining outside, a nice fall day. Typical Arkansas winter weather, really, not cold, but wet.

My daughter has been coming by to have lunch with me on her noon hour and that is really nice. She took me to a coffee shop for lunch yesterday. It was good to get out. I do not have transportation and am stuck up on this hill unless she comes to get me! This is a rural town and there is no public transportation at all. But it is a small town and if I can walk, I can get around. But I am at the point where I have to give myself walking therapy to work up to that again. I used to be a great walker and rode a bike . If I can lose this 100 lb, I do not see why I cannot ride a bike again. But perhaps not in this neighborhood. It is very hilly!

Wishing all who read this a very happy day. Don't give up! Keep sparking and working on your program daily. It is daily efforts over a long period of time that will achieve big goals.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
11/19/19 6:16 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
my weight is holding steady at 221. I am studying things to switch up my diet to get my diet moving again

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
11/18/19 6:08 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
NOVEMBER 18, 2019 MONDAY

Hello I am back after the move! I got my internet back today and what a relief! It feels like I can breathe again. I really need this spark journal! it connects me with others at spark and I do not want to be alone. I need community.

I am holding at 225, which is ten pounds below where I started at 235 in Sept, and I am pleased. The move has interfered in my fitness program this month, tho. But I still have nearly two weeks to make my weight loss goal for this month, which is to get to 220 lb. Today I weighed at 223, so I am very close .

Being stuck alone in this new apartment without transportation except for my daughter was getting to me today as she stood me up for a lunch date at my house and left me sitting here with the food. I am sensitive these days since the move wore me out so much. So I started eating all her lunch as well as my own and cookies besides! I was just really starting to go overboard when there was a knock on the door and the internet guy came in! That stopped my eating. Thank the good lord! A sign from heaven, and I little help I think! Isolation is bad for the eating plan.

I got into my new Sparkpeople Cookbook today and made a chicken salad similar to one in the cookbook. That was great. I am back to counting calories, which always makes such a difference. I will try to get into my book The Spark Solution tonight, too. I was interrupted in those books by my move.

I hurt my arthritis with moving all those heavy boxes around and had to get off my feet a while, but I think I can start exercising tomorrow again. I have walked outside a bit, and it is a cute neighborhood. I am in a senior complex in a rural town in Arkansas . The people are so nice here .I like them. I was not happy in my last home and I am glad to be relocated near my daughter and granddaughter. But they are not used to having to worry about me, and it creates a little tension. So I am set on saving money as fast as possible to buy a car. I have not owned a car in 20 years .But I drove that UHaul truck here with no trouble! I enjoyed it .Driving gives a feeling of freedom.

It is good to be connected to spark again for accountability and sharing.

Yes, Gwynn, my disability did switch to regular social security at 66.

Talk soon.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 11/18/2019 (18:09)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
10/28/19 6:00 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
good luck on your move. At 67 you should be on regular social security. A counselor I know says that Social Security Disability turns into Social Security at 66

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/28/19 12:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
OCTOBER 27 2019 Sunday

Well moving day is day after tomorrow. I am exhausted, but hanging in there. I am scared of driving that Uhaul truck from this town to the new one. It's just one hour, but still, I have not driven in ten years at least.

I managed to pack this whole one bedroom apartment myself with my arthritis. My ankle went out last week and I was on crutches with it for 2 or 3 days, and that scared me in the middle of a move, but it healed and now it's much better. In prayer I am getting advice to help me push thru and it seems to be working.

My daughter came by yesterday and we had a nice mother daughter day shopping. I am moving near her, and we expect to be much happier living close by. My ten year old granddaughter is very excited about me coming, too, and it is wonderful to be so welcomed by family. I am 67. Not everybody is so welcomed by family at that age. I am currently living in a senior complex and cannot wait to get out of here!

I lost ten pounds in Oct, my first month on my renewed fitness program, and that is over my goal of 8 lb. But of course I am wavering and gaining 2 or 3 lb back as the month goes on, but I officially weigh in on Oct 31. I have learned to slow down and be more realistic with weight loss. It used to happen so fast for me. Now I have 100 lb to lose and it cannot come off fast at this age. But I am motivated and have a good plan that I look forward to putting into effect after the move as soon as I can. I will lose internet for a while after my move so my fitness journal will be interrupted here for a while, but we will see how long. I am glad to have this journal at spark where I do not feel isolated adn alone.

I am also learning to save money on my low disability income, at last. It's all a matter of not spending! Like not eating. These NOT things are difficult and so important! It is so easy to do too much. I want less in all areas of my life. To lighten up! I really look forward to my new life. I want to be happy for the years I have left. I don't want to spend them in a wheel chair with obesity and arthritis, or broke and out of control of my life because I have no control over my spending.

I think these last 20 years ( I hope!) of my life will be the very best. I have worked and striven a long long time to arrive at a good place in life. And I feel like it is paying off. If you just keep going, you DO get there!

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/28/19 12:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That sounds like a good plan, Gwynn! I look forward to hearing about your recipes...but after I move I will be offline for a while, I don't know how long. Hope it is not too long. Interent is expensive in the rural place I am moving to, and I have to figure out my budget.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
10/26/19 8:49 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Yes I should look at changing my exercise routine but I think I need to start with my eating program first. I want to change up my eating pattern and lower my calories and carbs and up my protein. I have some ideas on how to do that. I am oging on line this weekend to get recipes

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/25/19 6:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
October 25, Friday 2019

Addendum: I am thinking about getting those Dinnerly menus delivered to my house after I move, when I get my budget stabilized again after the move. I may try it. I have never tried to have meals delivered before but it may be really helpful. I think it may be worth a try for me. I am ready to try new and different things than I have done before. When I had my broken leg and was in a wheelchair, I had meals on wheels delivered and that was really helpful. I never had to cook. It takes a lot of pressure off and a lot of decision making off. I might make use of that help at least try it one month and see how it goes.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/25/19 6:43 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
October 25, Friday, 2019

I am working to keep off that ten pounds this month and it is a struggle but I knew it would be. I am still packing to move and that is adding a lot of exercise to my life. In fact, I hurt my weak ankle with the lifting and carrying heavy things, and I had to take several days to let it heal. That was scary. But praise God it is healing apparently! I am 67 and I have a steel plate in my leg instead of a real ankle, for three years now. My leg got caught when I fell on my bicycle three years ago and my ankle shattered, partly because of arthritis caused by obesity. So, it's all a struggle, but it's life and I am just grateful I can make some progress. Spark helps me to set more realistic goals for myself. I tend to try to go too fast with my goals. As I get older that just does not work.

I am in detox this month since I have cut down my portions so much and am avoiding the junk food more. It always happens. It is just withdrawal. I itch all over especially at night, cannot sleep, have nightmares, headaches, and my immune system takes a beating. But there is no avoiding it. The worst of it lasts for the first 30 days. So I am hoping it will let up pretty soon. If I go back to overeating, it will just go up and down and up and down and never be over. My body is accustomed to an excess of food and all the chemical responses that causes. I sweat at night, choke while I try to sleep, and cough and have obesity-induced asthma where my throat closes up. But those symptoms have abated for the last week, thank goodness, since I cut my food down and have pretty much stuck to it, altho I am wavering with my portions and it is a struggle. But the Spark menus help me a lot. I have just bought the spark cookbook and the book the Spark Solution recently. I am too busy to read them right now, but as soon as I get moved I want to get into them as fast as possible.

I thank God that he is helping me. I pray every day and he is my best friend. But I need people too, and spark provides a chance to make friends like Gwynn. I am really happy to talk to others who are struggling with obesity as I am.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/25/19 6:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Yes Gwynn, I changed my eating by cutting my daily portions in half and I doubled my exercise because this month I am packing to move to another town where my lifestyle can be much healthier. I am a health nut from way back so I did not need to change my food itself too much, altho I have eliminated my go-to fast food of frozen pizza this month. Right now pizza is the big one I am giving up. I had got myself in the frozen pizza habit, more for convenience than anything else. I was not in a cooking mood lately. But this weight problem has been on for a good 15 years. My real problem with weight is my bipolar meds, but that can be managed if I try hard enough and don't give up. I have mood swing hurdles and the meds that go with them to fight when I try to control my eating . But I can do that if I can get motivated enough and have support, which I get from Spark people .com.

The first month of a diet, I always lose more weight, and this October was my re-start month, so that is why I lost ten pounds. However I am struggling to keep it off all month long. I knew it would be a struggle, and it is. Dropping the scale is one thing--but to keep it off is another.

But I hear you that you cannot get the scale to drop right now. Have you tried to re-start your fitness program completely? Do something different. Anything. A fresh approach may be needed. It makes no sense to do the same old thing and expect different results. If your program has not been working for you for some time, then maybe you need to change that program. Look at your life, maybe, and find something significant you can change. Like, I am moving---and without this move, I was having no success at weight loss either. I was in a lifestyle where I was deteriorating, living in a senior citizen apartment complex where there is no activity and no one with whom I have anything in common. These are not Spark-type people, and they are not my kind of people. The whole lifestyle is very bad. It is a good place to deteriorate and die. So I am making a great effort to get out of here and live another more active way, near my loved ones so I will not be isolated.

We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
10/21/19 5:58 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
lost 10 pounds in 20 days? that seems like a lot. did you change your eating? skip meals? I am not losing any -- need to change my eating patterns

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/20/19 9:34 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sunday Oct 20 2019

Today I weighed in at my month goal for October! I went from 235 to 225 in 20 days. Now the challenge to hold on to it!!!

I am still packing for my move and all that heavy lifting is make me burn lots of calories! and I love it! I have lived a sedentary life much too long! And that is OVER. I intend to hit the ground running after I move and get on an outdoor fitness program that will keep- my momentum from this move going. I really love the feeling of all this weight lifting and bending and working. I am thinking of organizing some kind of work for myself to keep it going after I move. Maybe a volunteer job where I lift and sort things, like in a second hand shop. I want to get out and do yard work but I have not been able to move to a place like that yet. I am still in an an apartment complex for the elderly. They are LETHAL. I intend to get out and stay out!

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/20/2019 (21:40)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
GWYNANNE1's Photo GWYNANNE1 Posts: 4,805
10/19/19 4:14 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
you do much better writing on line than I do. my weight fluctuates. My weight is standing still

SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/19/19 2:10 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Saturday Oct 19 2019

Well I am continuing to pack to move near my daughter and granddaughter and that is providing me with exercise. I hate where I am living now and isolate in the apartment, so my new home will be much better for me--provide contact with my family and a situation where I can walk to numerous places in a small town. I had a goal of losing 8 lb this month and I lost 7.5 quickly, but put 2.5 back on in the last week. I lost control of my eating after taking a sleeping aide that left a hangover and make me eat---and I LOST CONTROL OF MY EATING FOR 6 DAYS!

But now I have stopped the overeating for the last two days and taken one lb off again. So I am going to try to keep that going an make my one month goal--or better if I am lucky .It just takes sustained effort. I lost 53 lb about 20 years ago in ten months, an average of 5 lb per month. I cannot keep a perfectly controlled program going, so I have to take the averages, but as Long as I make the effort, I make progress. It took me 20 years to be ready for a long sustained effort again like this. I have changed many behaviors and beat bad habits in my life, and I can beat this one too. Eating is the last bad habit I have. I have beat everything else and solved every other problem. I am 67 years old. And I will manage this one too! It takes as long as it takes. That's life.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/19/2019 (14:15)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/15/19 11:12 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Tues October 15 2019

Next day. I overate twice yesterday and once the day before after taking that narcotic to sleep one night. The pill leaves a hangover that affects me for at least 24 hours. That will teach me to not mess with my sleep schedule! I slept a natural sleep last night though and feel better. I gained 2.5 lb in the last two days of eating, but I am still 5 lb down this month. I have an 8 lb goal for October. I was only 1/2 lb from making it three days ago!! But I blew it by going to bed hungry. THAT WILL TEACH ME. Lessons learned one at a time. I am writing this lesson in my book: Do not go to bed hungry because you won't sleep! It is not worth it to try to shrink my stomach overnight. It does not work for me. I am not young anymore.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/19/2019 (14:13)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
SARAHPPP's Photo SARAHPPP Posts: 236
10/14/19 8:16 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Monday Oct 14, 2019

Hi I am Sarah and I am opening this journal to help keep me motivated and in right thinking day to day on my fitness program. I am 67 years old and started (re-started) my fitness program on Oct 1 at 235 lb with a goal to lose 8 lb in October. I am making progress but the last two days I have overeaten and gained pounds back! One thing I learned: I cannot go to bed hungry trying to shrink my stomach. When I was young that quick fix worked, but not now. I am bipolar, so it sets off mania and I will not sleep. Then I become exhausted and must take a sleep pill (narcotic) which will cause me to go off my eating plan within 24 hours. And then I have to struggle to get back balanced again. Eating in a controlled moderate way depends on being balanced with exercise and sleep as well. No more going to bed hungry for me! I will be sure to keep a light snack in the kitchen for such nights. But the best thing is to eat at schedules times during the day so I do not get hungry at night. That will be my focus tomorrow.

Edited by: SARAHPPP at: 10/19/2019 (14:13)
We cannot solve problems using the same ideas we used to create them. Albert Einstien


 current weight: 220.0 
235
210
185
160
135
Page: 1 of (1)   1

Report Inappropriate Post

Other Community Journals Topics:

Topics:
Last Post:
2/19/2020 1:43:51 PM
10/20/2020 4:08:23 AM
7/18/2020 8:50:13 PM
7/29/2020 6:30:24 PM

Thread URL: https://sparkpittsburgh.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageboard.asp?imboard=4&imparent=50382035

Review our Community Guidelines