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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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11/20/19 10:03 A

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Sooooooooo.....guess what?!!!!! This ISN'T a "time-to-get-back-on-the-wagon" post!!! To sum up the last few months. I went to the endocrinologist. He had some poor reviews online but the poor guy got a total bum rap. He was VERY honest and professional and for all of those who make quick judgments about doctors...just because you don't hear what you want to hear right away does NOT mean that the physician is not very capable. Yes, there are good doctors and very bad ones out there. In this case I'm confidant that I have a good doctor who was laying the groundwork for the slow process of managing my care. The thyroid can be VERY TRICKY!!!! Anywho….new labs and a prescription change later and I think we are getting there. I very rarely feel lethargic and my skin has really improved. No eye problems yet, which is the most promising thing, and I switched from mostly cardio to heavy weight training 2-4 days a week.

No master plan. I get to thee gym when I can and try and move around more on the days I can't. I try and get more protein in but am not on any "diet" other than eat less processed and try to 80/20 over the course the week. I was a meticulous tracker for about 8 weeks at first and I think I have a really good feel for what I should b eating along with portion sizes and calorie counts. I feel like I'm better at listening to my body. In concrete numbers I have lost 17lbs since my heaviest this year but even if it were only 5 I'm so happy. These lbs are REAL weight lost. Not water weight. My body has changed significantly. I am wearing clothes that make me feel good and I don't care what size they are. You know what else is super-crazy-awesome? For the first time in 4 years I am not crash dieting to get into a dress for my husband's Christmas party! The dress I want to wear fits me now. It might look a little better if I tighten my core(3 babies) or perk up my booty but If the party were tomorrow I would be comfortable and confidant. So any training I do for the next month is stress free and gravy!!!


For anyone who has read any of my posts please know that its ok to get frustrated and its ben a long process for me. I know I'll have some good and bad days but for all the days I wasn't posting, I was still here and moving forward. I hope everyone is well!!!



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8/26/19 12:19 P

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I'm still here!!!! It's been a rough couple of weeks but I dragged my sinus and upper respiratory infected carcass upstairs to check in. I have been waaaaay off the wagon for a week and a half. Strike that, I have not been diligent in self care practices for a bit (sounds much better). Mentally I am still in it and I have no feelings of depression or despair. I just got sick. I understand it'll take me a bit to get back to 100% and that's ok. Today my singular goal is to get my servings of fruits and veggies in....even if it means throwing them all in the blender and choking them down. It's a start. Just keep swimming....

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 8/26/2019 (12:20)

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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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8/14/19 12:01 P

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I may have hit my first plateau.....not so much a physical but a mental one. I'm exercising and watching my calories but the motivation to continue the good habits is waning as time goes on. Well, maybe not waning but I'm getting complacent. Life is so crazy. Keeping me AND the rest of the family on a schedule is wearing me out. Last night I opted to skip dinner and have dessert instead since it involved less work and I was soooo tired. I woke up and got the boys off, ate a good breakfast with fat, carbs, and protein but now have little motivation to meal prep....which needs to be done or I'll be back to eating whatever at random intervals.

The positive is that I can see that my body is changing. I am definitely less puffy and my boobs have gotten noticeably smaller....lol. I know that the butt goes next but its all part of the process so I'm not mad;-)

Oh well. Maybe my iron is low. I'll make a concerted effort to push thru the "blah" I'm feeling today and see how I'm doing tomorrow.

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 8/14/2019 (12:02)

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8/8/19 10:07 A

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It's been a crazy week. I have been really good about tracking everything during the day but the evening meals have ben a little wishy-washy. I have most definitely stayed within my calories but I have eaten a few things that aren't the best choices for me. I shouldn't pass on the big salad to justify having a few bites of nachos. I will portion out all of my food for the next 2 days to eliminate the trap of being caught without a ready-to-go healthy meal.

I have gotten up to 40 minutes on the elliptical every day this week and it isn't a struggle so I seem to be bouncing back with the exercise at a pretty good clip. Once I get up to 45 I will start to increase the intensity and add a few body weight exercises. Little changes seem to be working and I feel good not pushing myself too far, too fast.

The two oldest started school yesterday. I'm so happy to be back on a schedule, even if it is super crazy and exhausting. Up at 530, the kids go to school across town but my husband drops them off on his way to work. The key is to get HIM up and ready to go by 7...lol. If I can manage that then the whole day just runs so smoothly. 2 days in a row so we're off to a good start!

Weigh in today- 182.0

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 8/8/2019 (12:42)

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8/5/19 9:07 A

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Monday, Monday...can't trust that day. I thought I was to be with just one minion but there was an emergency so I will be keeping all three kids today. I would much rather deal with 3 crazies WHILE pushing out a 4th with NO meds than deal with the abscessed tooth my mother has right now so I'm still counting my many blessings.

I have a big grocery shopping trip planned today. Planning ahead really keeps the bill down, cuts waste, and keeps me aware of what healthy options I have in the house so I'm a BIG fan of "The List". We were out of milk last night so we swung by the store to pick some up along with some sandwich rolls for dinner. My husband RARELY gets to grocery shop and I know its a treat for him a) because he loves food and b) he has very little control of what he eats because I cook most meals and pack his lunches. There was also a cloudburst outside so we were stuck in the store for a bit.....and we were hungry. Yes, a few impulse purchases were made. And, yes, we forgot the milk. I guess I mention this because although I do allow myself to cheat a little on Sunday's, I recognized that I was shopping hungry and bought myself a big piece of fruit to eat while hubs was cooking burgers so I wouldn't COMPLETELY derail myself.

I've been bad about drinking my water this past week. I used to always internally mock those guys you see who carry around a gallon jug of water with them at the gym. Well, it actually is the best way to get me to drink my water everyday. Kinda hard to misplace an 8lb jug of water.....but not impossible. *Challenge accepted* (puts gallon-of-water on shopping list).

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 8/5/2019 (09:11)

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8/2/19 8:09 P

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Tweaked my back helping move some furniture. Took some crazy strong Tylenol and got on the elliptical to see if it would help to loosen it up. Didn't make it worse so ...yay? My husband is "torturing" our oldest with some football drills in the yard. He was being a big titty baby so I went out there and ran some sprints with him to motivate him with a little shame and competition. I finally let him win after 7. At least he finally stopped whining....sort of.



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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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8/1/19 12:02 P

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I've been pretty good this week. Managed to get my exercise in, even on the days when I was crunched for time and would have much rather taken a 20 minute nap. I think I'm noticing a change in my energy. When I started the exercising last week I had to have some sort of carb and a coffee to even get thru the first 20 minutes. The past 2 days I have been able to get my time in after eating a protein heavy breakfast. ….egg muffins with broccoli and turkey sausage. Only 1 week til school starts....I can't wait! I have so many projects I want to tackle. I need to make a list so I can plan out my time to be the most efficient.

I got stuck with one more month of a YMCA membership. I know its my fault because I didn't read the fine print but I'm still pissed. Oh well, I will try to make the best of a crap situation and utilize the weight machines as much as I can in the next 30 days so my resentment might diminish a bit. Still not worth the money if the kids aren't able to go with me but....eh...whatcha gonna do?

The boys started their sports this week. We're taking a break from baseball and trying football and soccer for the first time. So far they both LOVE them!!!! It's funny since there is so much more physical work involved with practices so I'm so proud that they are working their hardest and having a great time. Of course, my oldest hasn't been given his pads yet so hasn't taken a real hit...lol.

We went to a friends house for dinner and pool time last night. I ate a salad before my piece of pizza and passed on the dessert. Very satisfying.


Weigh in today- 183.4

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 8/1/2019 (12:04)

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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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7/29/19 10:45 A

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Results from my bloodwork- "Stone cold normal. No changes"
Me- "Ok. Now could you ask Dr. Who-I-Love that I would like a referral to see a specialist, please?

Grammy asked our two oldest over for a sleepover last night so we took the 3 year old out on a date for Thai food and sushi instead of having stroganoff. I ate mindfully but did indulge a bit. I have no regrets and I've pre-planned all my food today since it's going to be a crazy one. 9 and 6 start their fall sports today. Different sports, different fields, exact same time.

Pours another cup of coffee.....



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7/28/19 9:29 A

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Sunday Fun-day! We had a family over for dinner last night and had a GREAT time "adulting", my husband says. It might seem counter-productive to invite over a family over that has MORE kids than we do but they are all close in age to our kids and have such similar interests. 7 boys under the age of 13, in and out of the house, keeping themselves happy, making a lot of noise....and the only bloodshed was when my middle baby decided to pull out his first tooth:-). By the time they left it was almost midnight and 3 out of the 7 had crashed on the couch. We will all probably be dragging a bit today but I pre-cooked tonight's dinner (stroganoff-my weekly cheat Yum!) inside while my squeeze grilled some amazing ribs outside. We raise our own chickens, for eggs as well as eating, so I had him do one of those and I had a nice healthy option available to me. 1 rib, some amazing chicken, caprese salad from the garden, fresh dug new potatoes, our friends stopped at a farm stand and brought some corn that was so sweet it didn't need butter or salt......it was all so amazing and clean eating to boot!

I feel much better today than I did at the end of the week and I have plans to get outside and start prep for the fall garden, clean out the coop(ick), maybe even get an actual sweat session in.

Last but not least, after 5 weeks at the shop we finally got the boat out of captivity and we took the boys for a joyride. It's wonderful that the kids are getting old enough that being out on the lake is more fun than stress. It was so relaxing that I had an epiphany on what I want to get my husband for Christmas. After 10 years I will finally buckle down and get my boating license so we can use the boat for more than just fishing. I'll surprise the kids with one of those big, pull-behind floats and my husband with my ability to let him get in the water instead of being the only one responsible for driving. Good plan.

Everyone keep up the baby steps. The first month, or so, is the hardest but establishing a new routine pays off in the end.

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 7/28/2019 (09:33)

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7/26/19 11:59 A

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This morning is ROUGH. The mental energy it takes to drum up the physical energy to get chores done is kicking my butt today. My "angelic" babies decided to get up early(which I encouraged this close to school starting), but then decided that today was the morning they would get on each others nerves worse than any other day this summer and holler at me to tattle after EVERY SINGLE LITTLE ANNOYANCE. I swear to God I heard "MOOOOOM" at least 40 times in a 20 minutes period. Totally lost my cool and threatened to lock them all out of the house til lunch time. I've done it before......they shut up.

I did drag my ass onto the elliptical but I had to turn the resistance waaaay down to power out just 30 minutes. I got sweaty so I'm counting it.

I caved and got on the scale yesterday. Down 4.6lbs

Going to get my bloodwork done today. Even if my numbers are on track I'm asking for a referral to an endocrinologist. Good numbers+persistent symptoms=something's still not right.

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 7/26/2019 (12:00)

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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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7/25/19 9:44 A

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AWKSWAN- Its such a weird....mental paradox(?)...that we can feel so isolated while knowing that others ARE going thru the exact same thing. I, too, am a fan of reading other journals to get that push I need.

Day....(mental math, gave up, looked at phone calendar)...11!!!!

I am very proud of myself today. It's not the food choices, exercise(4 days running), or water consumption. It's the fact that I HAVEN'T gotten on the scale since last Monday. Logically, after 11 days of being very good I should see some sort of downward mobility in the number. Just like I can put on 5lbs of water weight after some good BBQ, I can drop that weight just as quickly with some low-carb choices and a couple cups of coffee. I'm finding that this is no longer the case. After being diagnosed with low-thyroid I was hoping it would be just a matter of taking some meds and everything would sort itself out. Heck, I'm barely 39 and otherwise in EXCELLENT health(thank god). Who knew the human body is more complicated than that?.....LOLOLOLOLOL!!! So I haven't gotten on the scale. It's hard to do the "right" things and not see results and I don't need the added handicap of actually seeing the effing number mocking me from the scale. So that's my "yay me" moment of the morning. Watch, I'll probably cave on get on the scale later *shrugs*.

Yesterday I did 40 minutes on the elliptical and day 3 of the 21-day challenge. Turns out that 30 is the magic number of consecutive squats I can do before things get dicey. And finally, I love me some musical theatre and watching Aaron Tveit and Gavin Creel sing Take Me or Leave Me from Rent really pushed me thru those last few minutes of cardio. Look it up. It's awesome!

Edited by: KBROWER80 at: 7/25/2019 (09:48)

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AWKSWAN's Photo AWKSWAN Posts: 63
7/23/19 11:56 A

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Hi!

Just wanted to thank you for posting. I sometimes read other journals for inspiration, to remind myself there are others alongside on the journey to better health, or to laugh.

Yours has touched on all three of those things for me, so thank you for sharing.
I’m glad you got through your elliptical workout without wanting to die! I was so happy when I reached that point in my workouts. Big difference between feeling it but not so much you can’t power through and feel satisfied at the end, and feeling it to the point that all you can think about is how hard it is and never doing that particular exercise again, assuming you actually make it out alive.

Anyway, thanks again for sharing and good luck on your road to fitness!


KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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7/22/19 12:04 P

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I did it and it wasn't miserable!!!! 30 minutes. I got sweaty but didn't want to die. I'll take it.



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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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7/22/19 8:44 A

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Day 8- So it's been a week and I did really well. I did not get an organized work out in the whole of last week but I know that the block was mental....so that should really read that I chose not to do a workout. I could have gotten one in if I just pushed past that mental hurdle....(pauses...checks Pinterest...finds 21-day exercise challenge...does 15 crunches,20 squats,and a10 second plank). Obkb. Now I have started my day with exercise. I can tell you that a huge part of my fear is that I have always been very athletic. It's been so long that I have done any strength training that I have no idea what my current limits are and if I jump right in I will get so sore that I won't exercise again for days..... *slaps own face* SNAP OUT OF IT!
Anyhoo, As far as food goes I've been doing well with the meal prep and tracking. I did let my cheat meal last night turn into a choco-fest so I am not going to weigh in this week. I know what I did wrong and I feel appropriately guilty. No need to let some water weight depress me into not doing the work today. I'm 5'10". On any given day I can hold onto 5lbs of water weight so for today the scale can suck it. Back to reestablishing good habits and maybe today is the day the siren song of the elliptical will get to me.



 Pounds lost: 16.4 
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KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
Fitness Minutes: (7,889)
Posts: 203
7/18/19 10:41 A

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Thanks Sparklie- that was very nice to read this morning. It's true that as my life has changed, it is a different struggle that requires different tools. I have a lot of "big picture" blessings in my life that are motivating, distracting, and inspiring so I'm finding my way to navigate them. Day 4- I still haven't managed to do a proper "work out" this week. I have pre-measured and logged all of my food first thing in the morning so I know what I get to look forward to all day and its readily available whenever I find the time for a meal. I have a HUGE garden so I can basically go shopping in my yard (YAY) but once I start canning I'm soooo sick of looking at vegetables (BOOOO...lol)

I know from experience that it takes about a week for my body to adjust to fewer refined carbs so that's where I am right now. I know it'll be better in a few days. I'm thinking maybe an elliptical session with an episode of Justified might
be what gets me into the cardio swing.



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SPARKLIE-DAY Posts: 99
7/16/19 1:13 P

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It is a big change if you used to exercise 2 hours a day and now you're finding it hard to exercise at all. And to be at a high weight while you're trying and tracking--no wonder you are demoralized. You deserve better than that. Everybody's journey is uniquely their own. I love that you started your post with all of the positives in your life. Appreciating what you have and accepting where you are is the first step. I know that you will find the path that works for you. Good luck!

KBROWER80 SparkPoints: (11,969)
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7/15/19 1:49 P

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I love good food and I love to exercise. I also love having a home, a husband, 3 beautiful boys, and a life that blesses me every day. I don't love having thyroid issues and only 24 hours in the day. I'm finding my way as I get older to fit fitness and mindful eating into a life that has evolved into something much different than when I had 2 hours a day to exercise and was able to sleep thru the night. After trying several different things to drop weight and get my stamina back I find that basic tracking, tracking, tracking is the most succssful, cost effective, and flexible way to get there. So here I am,
Day one-191....the 2nd heaviest I have been outside of pregnancy. Weight is a number but not feeling comfortable in my own skin and having my kids start to care what I look like is the tipping point. Maybe I'll post every day....probably not. I find that reading people's struggles helps me know I'm not alone and so I'm putting mine out there.



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