Doubts and fears
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Not sure where to start. I am not right. For several months now, people have been asking me what is wrong,saying I am not myself. They are correct, I have not been myself for some time. I get angry over the stupidest little things, I am unhappy, un-motivated and a hermit. I don't like being around some people I used to love to death. My work roommate is driving me insane. There are times I hate everyone and everything. I don't like myself.
I am not online as much as I used to be....I used to spend hours on line chatting with my friends, posting here at SP. Now I don't feel as if I belong. It is nothing that anyone has done or said. *Sighs* It's just...me.
My vertigo has come back with a vengeance and my heart palpitations have gotten worse. My boss believes that my hormones are way out of whack and it is peri-menopause. I am the right age for it. I have never been prone to depression. But that is almost what it feels like. I have an appointment with my doctor on the 13th. Hopefully he will check my hormones, including my thyroid and advise me what I can do to over come this distasteful state of being. I try to be myself as I used to be, cheerful and optimistic and full of life ..but I feel as if there is this....darkness....engulfing me and snuffing out all signs of who I used to be. It is such an alien feeling. I hate it!