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Doubts and fears

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Not sure where to start. I am not right. For several months now, people have been asking me what is wrong,saying I am not myself. They are correct, I have not been myself for some time. I get angry over the stupidest little things, I am unhappy, un-motivated and a hermit. I don't like being around some people I used to love to death. My work roommate is driving me insane. There are times I hate everyone and everything. I don't like myself.

I am not online as much as I used to be....I used to spend hours on line chatting with my friends, posting here at SP. Now I don't feel as if I belong. It is nothing that anyone has done or said. *Sighs* It's just...me.

My vertigo has come back with a vengeance and my heart palpitations have gotten worse. My boss believes that my hormones are way out of whack and it is peri-menopause. I am the right age for it. I have never been prone to depression. But that is almost what it feels like. I have an appointment with my doctor on the 13th. Hopefully he will check my hormones, including my thyroid and advise me what I can do to over come this distasteful state of being. I try to be myself as I used to be, cheerful and optimistic and full of life ..but I feel as if there is this....darkness....engulfing me and snuffing out all signs of who I used to be. It is such an alien feeling. I hate it!
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  • H2O4LIFE
    Darn it Ame, I'm sorry about all this. Hopefully the Dr can give you some insight on why you're feeling this way...sending you warm, bright light and cool nights..~hugs form the Dark
    4799 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1823129
    My poor lovely Ame!!! I'm sorry to hear this hunny. It happens to me on occasion but it's always stress and sleep linked and therefore while not easy to solve, at least has a pinpointed reason. Not knowing why it's this way has to be the worst. I really hope the doctor has something helpful to say, keep us posted. Oh and guess what, I love you whether you're happy or not. You don't have to be our ray of sunshine all the time, we can be yours when you need it. Love - Brandy
    4799 days ago
  • CORRIN32
    I know what you are describing all too well. I think I spent close to my entire life feeling the way you are describing at least once a week if not for entire years. It is a hard place to be and that makes it even harder to get out of. I'm glad you decided to go see a doctor! You are a ray of sunshine and I'm willing to help you shine any day sweetie!
    4799 days ago
  • BABEL.
    A little hermit just wading through the sand and going into a nice little dark cave all alone with no one to bug. I know that feeling. I'm sorry I got no advice but just that you're not alone and you bring so much positivity to the Dark Side that I hope you start to feel like yourself again. Until then, I'll send you some happy joy wishes.
    4799 days ago
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