Friday, September 11, 2020
I woke up at 3:45am. My eyes opened slowly, I looked at the time up on the ceiling and then boom, I'm wide awake. Too much to think about I guess.
The PET scan went okay yesterday. Since I fell asleep during the scan the hour went by really quick. Thank you Jesus.
My mind is now working overtime. I didn't give any of this a thought until yesterday morning when it hit me like a ton bricks. What if the cancer spread? I mean it's grown and I was suppose to be in remission. I've had this tumor since 2012 and it's never grown, so why now? Could I be lucky enough that what they saw isn't the tumor. Could I really be that lucky? No, no I don't think so. I'll no at 1pm when I see my doctor. I don't want to go, I don't want to know.
It's 5:20am now. I'm hungry. I hate having diabetes, I mean who doesn't but I have such a loathing for it right now. I want a donut, thank goodnes s I don't have any. There are so many things that can cause me to go Home now. I always figured it would be the cancer. Now we add Parkinson's Disease, Hypercapnia and now Diabetes. Guys, I'm only 52. A very young 52. I enjoyed life when I wasn't sick. I could walk then. Now my life is this. I may be 52 and my mind might be 40 or even younger but then you mention my body and the diseases running through it and I'm 85.
Okay I'm going to try and read up on this carb thing and how it is going to help this thing called diabetes.