9/7 Hard reset - going full steam tomorrow
Monday, September 07, 2020
the past few days have been horrible with my eating. Horrible. Tomorrow I will be back on track. I have not exercised that much each day and to hit my 1500 minute goal for the month I need to make sure I do an hour a day for the rest of the month. It is going to be pushing it to make it.
I need to make sure I am planning out my meals again. That helped. It is when there is a wrench thrown into the plan that I struggle with. I admit I got discouraged two months in. It really is hard not being able to see a difference - measurements are not really possible. I am hoping everything I am doing is making a change but it is so hard not "seeing" it.
I know that is a very long journey I am on and I am just beginning but I am frustrated. I have Spark Plus for a few more days. But, I have to admit some of the visualizations do not help. Such as visualize yourself at your goal weight. Yeah, I can do that I have also visualize the lose skin that will also make life more difficult in another weight. Because there will be a lot of lose skin. I am never going to look "normal".
I know I am whining. I am sorry. Just frustrated right now.
Struggling with agoraphobia and my home not being wheelchair friendly does not help much. Facebook was a haven and have friends but FB has changes so much in the last year. It is a place of so much hate it brings the loneliness back. I have my husband but I need something besides that. I have never fit in really in groups etc. Even watching live feeds on FB I feel like an outcast. Again a whine I know.
I know I am a difficult person and not the easiest to like. That sure does not help. But, I get so lonely at times.
Thank you for listening to my whine