It's been a very tough week. I've been so faithful about tracking and exercising for the last few weeks, but I went THREE WHOLE DAYS without exercise this week. I have spent every spare minute of the last four days trying to sort out my son's school situation for this year. It has been a chaotic nightmare to say the least.
Despite all the stress, I have remained faithful in my nutrition tracking. That's been a good thing because it keeps me mindful of what I'm putting in my mouth. Since I promised myself long ago that while tracking my eating, I will not lie or omit things from my tracker, that means I have to own what I eat! It's what's kept me on track. As a stress-eater, this has been no small miracle.
As for the exercise, I needed to call my mom yesterday, so I told her she was just going to have to walk with me! I couldn't go a 4th day without movement. My body was already aching from the long days at the computer (8 hours on the job + 3-4 hour doing school stuff). I apologized for my huffing and puffing, but she didn't care. She has always been one of my biggest cheerleaders. I got the walk done and had a much better night's sleep.
Today, somehow, by the grace of G-d, I got my son's junior year all sorted out. I felt triumphant, exhausted, and FREE AT LAST! What to do. What to do. I grabbed my phone and took my mom for another Walk-Talk. I did a mile and wrapped up our chat. Then I realized that I still had energy to burn. My body was happy to be moving again and I started thinking about a goal I've been contemplating for the last 2 weeks. A walk-jog. And then it happened. My fears rushed in. You can tell me I'm crazy, but here they are:
* I'm 48 years old and Obese. Why do I think I can do this?
* I have heart-history in my family. What if I have a heart attack like my dad did in his 40s?
* My knees are old and can't take the strain. What if I blow out a knee? Or two?
* This is Florida where it is hotter than Hades. Have you heard of heat stroke?
* My feet and calves often hurt with just walking. Why do I think I can jog?
* I can fall stepping off a sidewalk, and did just last week. What if I fall?
* What if I get out of the neighborhood and can't make it back?
Yep. That was a whole lot of stinkin' thinkin'. For real.
But then I remembered my last journey with Spark. It wasn't until I began to step outside my comfort zone, listen to my body, and truly embrace a variety of activities that I began to see real progress. Nothing ventured. Nothing gained, right? I also remembered what I recently heard in a new Leslie Sansone video I've been doing.
---Do gentle jogging if you feel like it. If it gets to be too much, go back to walking. You set the pace.--
Hmmmm. So I'm in control, right?
That's when I decided to just give it a try and see what happens. I started off with a brisk walk since my muscles were still warm from the last walk. After I got out of my neighborhood and on a straight stretch with good sidewalk, I just went for it. One minute of gentle jogging. I did it! And then I walked for a minute or two, and did it again. Woah! I really did it. And dare I add that IT FELT GOOD! My breathing was up and so was my heart rate. I walked for a few minutes after that second interval, and did two more intervals before I made it home. The craziest part was that I DIDN'T DIE! I didn't fall. I didn't have a heart attack. I didn't blow out my knees. The arches in my feet didn't collapse. The ground didn't jump up to attack me. And my obese, 48 year old body made it home without overheating! Whew!
So what did I learn?
* I learned that my body can do more when I don't let UNhealthy fears hold me back.
* I have the ability to test my body in small ways before making bigger moves.
* I might not die trying something new.
* I can like change, even though it sometimes scares me.
* I am my own biggest obstacle in this journey.
* I am tired now and will sleep well tonight.
Much love, Sparkies. Much love. I am so grateful to be here.