Flooded basement, emotionally drained and eating like a rabid raccoon
Friday, April 24, 2020
I’m sure that blog title gave you all pause for thought! A special shout out if you’ve never been to my page before but just had to because you wanted to meet the “crazy one”
“Flooded basement, emotionally drained and eating like a rabid raccoon” - pretty well sums up my life right now. Last week our hot water tank ruptured in our finished basement and we ended up with water everywhere! Add in the my husband is a bit of a hoarder and the this is the family home and you have a whole lot of things to “wade” through.
Luckily, we do have insurance and there is no deductible because we’ve never had a claim. They connected us with a restoration company and the two gentleman from there seem to be genuine sweethearts. They’ve given us tips, had a talk to John about hoarding and have been reassuring to us. It really is a blessing in disguise because it is forcing us to deal with clutter. Thus far we’ve filled 1 1/2 dumpsters! We will also end up with a more modern basement, laundry room and bathroom.
The emotional toil is hard all the same. I think this is forcing me to deal with emotions I thought I had locked up. There are so many things to deal with that I’m assuaged by emotional guilt. Am I tossing things or memories? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself. Do I need to keep such and such? Am I doing a disservice to the memories by throwing it out? Too it all off, I’m also dealing with my mother’s twice daily calls suddenly asking where everything is. For example, “I hope you’re not tossing your brother’s tape recorder” or “ where are those pillowcases you’re grandmother embroidered”. Mind you this is the same grandmother (her mother-in-law) she claims ruined her life and who she refers to as an evil, nasty person. That’s quickly followed by “you’re so much like her”.....
I’m torn between thinking mom is losing her marbles (sorry for making light) or whether she is stressed to the point of madness. Her first appointment with a psychiatrist was cancelled due to COVID-19, sadly. She is living in a long term care home (she is 80) and has since she was 69 because mom needs somebody to take care of her. Then I feel guilty because society tells us to worship your mother!
The basement issue combined with trying to deal with buried emotions (ones I really thought I had dealt with) are providing excellent fertilizer for my, barely under the surface, struggles with emotional eating. Up until a month ago, I was doing great. Meal planning was working out for us and I was walking daily and drinking enough water. My freggie intake was the best it had ever been and I felt good.
Then COVID-19 struck and it’s been one thing after another. I hope I’m not coming across as complaining - I honestly write these blogs to get my thoughts on “paper”. So, what would I tell a friend, if he or she came to me with the above scenario?
Dear friend: Wow, you’ve certainly been coping with a lot over the past month. Flooded basement aside, this is a time of uncertainty and stress for a lot of people. Didn’t you just get laid off, as well? I also believe I’ve heard you say before that your depression tends to go into overdrive during March-June each year? Now coupled with that you have to deal with a flooded basement that was filled with memories, a husband who finds it hard to part with things and your mother’s mental health is not stable .
Give yourself a break! This is not a time for perfection! Look at the positives. You are drinking plenty of water. You are sleeping well each night. You are helping others by making free masks. You are staying connected with your friends and family. You are getting exercise either through walking, moving things and lifting boxes. You are managing to deal with clutter. You have call display - you can choose when to answer (or not) your mom’s phone calls, Your husband loves you and is very supportive.
Focus on one aspect of your eating, if that’s bothering you. Aim for adding in 2 freggies a day - it is a start. Make that your goal evert day. You can do this - I believe in you!