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Please let me explain

Saturday, April 04, 2020

Yesterday we allowed our three grandchildren to visit us in our home for the day after 25 days apart.
We are normally very involved in their lives.
We are both seniors in good health.
Our son and his family have been obeying the stay at home order in RI for over two weeks.
My DIL, Jean goes out alone for needed supplies and they have started a grocery delivery service for most of it.
We went to Jamaica on March 10 for one week (seemed like the entire world changed the week we were away) and have stayed home since then, again, only I go out for needed food and medicine.
Including Jamaica, that is 23 days....of course we did travel home on the 17th, through empty airports...using plenty of hand washing, wipes, and hand sanitizer.

So, for these past two weeks, Jean has been teaching her own middle school students from her kitchen table while supervising her two older kids homeschooling and watching over my son managing their younger one’s kindergarten work.
All so far, so good.
Apparently the teachers have realized they cannot teach all day remotely without any time to prepare and collaborate, so RI has gone to a four day school week for the students to give the teachers Friday’s to get that important work done and to share what is working in this new way to teach and learn. Excellent idea!
As many of you know, my son has stage IV cancer and has been told he has at most one more year, possibly two. He has just left employment to focus on his health and his family.
He had chemo this Monday (as he has every other week for three years) and, although he has tolerated the changing chemo cocktail fairly well, this one knocked him down and he has spent the last few days in bed or in his bathroom.
Imagine adding this to Jean’s burden. emoticon
Of course she is also doing all the cooking, feeding, cleaning, laundry, bathing of the family.
Can you imagine it?
She is 47 and not the picture of health herself, being a little Irish bartender and party girl until she settled down to be a mom and teacher.
If something happens to Jean the whole house comes tumbling down. emoticon
Also, since the kids are on screens so much for school right now she is trying to limit that outside of schoolwork.
And, of course we had to have a wet damp week...she made them go outside and play in the yard anyway...good for her!
So, we after hearing Dr Sanjay Gupta (one of our most reliable sources) say we need to guard our mental health when making these decisions we decided to bring the kids here for the day so Jean could work and hopefully get some rest over there.
The kids were ecstatic to get out of their house and come play with their toys and games here on yet another gray, windy, damp day.
We all shared a loooong hug and it filled my heart and soul like FaceTime could never do.
I thought Lucy would not release me from her arms.
We also kept them off screens so it was all play all day...boy was I beat when they left!
We painted, we danced and sang, played army guys and school and board games.

Pearl did a science experiment and then taught us about elements that turn into potions and disintegration.

My house was trashed...imagine how theirs looks!
Papa brought them home, happy, fed, bathed, in jammies, at bedtime.
Patrick had been in bed for another day.
(Side thought...I wonder if they will do his bi-monthly scan in Boston this month???)
We may take the kids every Friday for the duration.
Anyway, I did not want any of my dear sparkpeeps to think we were not complying with all the new guidelines by bringing the kids here.
We all needed it so bad.
Stay healthy!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    54 days ago
    Everyone has todo what they need to do, you included.
    Sending massive hugs to you all!
    56 days ago
    Wow, your Grandkids are getting so big! I think that's great you took them in for a day. Your DIL has a lot on her place. Hugs for all of you!!
    57 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    58 days ago
  • no profile photo VALERRIE
    We love Dr. Sanjay! And his advice!
    So happy you were able to enjoy much missed time with your grandchildren; and they with you!
    They need you more than ever now. What a caring and fun diversion you are able to provide!
    And a much needed respite for your wonderful dil...I just cannot fathom...
    Bless you and your family!
    58 days ago
  • LORI-K
    No need to explain, dear friend. I’m so glad you got some much needed time with the grands. They are too cute.
    Continued prayers for your son and his whole family (that means you too!!).
    Stay as safe as possible while living life the best way you can right now.
    59 days ago
    yes, it's not easy. Life is not linear.
    59 days ago
  • TZAPP22
    Blessings to you and yours. I'm rather disappointed in some people as I sit watching so many people get so fresh over the stay home directive, I truly understand the need, but we all have our breaking points and a very carefully thought out and planned release can do more for the soul then "dealing with it"..
    59 days ago
    My heart hurts for you, that anyone made you feel the need to explain your choice. Just wrong.
    Be well...
    59 days ago
    I agree! I am struggling with not seeing grandkids and, I also agree that emotional health is a huge factor! So glad you could have this time for you, the kids, and your son and DIL. Stay safe!
    59 days ago
    First of all sending hugs and prayers to you and your family. I’m sur you needed this day as much as the kids and your DIL. We still need to be there for family. God bless you
    60 days ago
    YOU are awesome … a mother's nor GRANma's love can never, ever be "wrong".

    I'm sure everyone feels better now.
    60 days ago
    Pictures of your grandchildren are so cute. I am sure your DIL was so happy for you to have the children -even if for one day. I can only imagine what she is going thru and your son. My prayers are with your whole family. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do and trust that the Lord will be watching over you and your family to keep you all safe. God bless you. emoticon emoticon
    60 days ago
    So glad you got to have the kids for the day. I know my daughter baby sits 2 of her grands while her daughter works and all those that take their children to sitters while they work. You are doing good, not sick, and not going out to clubs and parties. Our mental health is as necessary during this time as our physical health. Personally I would babysit them once a week too, maybe even keep them overnight on the weekend so that Mama can get a good night’s sleep. ((HUGS)) and prayers for all of you.
    60 days ago
    Thank goodness you were able to help out! I've been calling friends that I know are alone, and likely going stir crazy. Everyone is really happy with a phone call from a friend, so I'm not surprised to hear about Lucy's hug. So sweet!

    60 days ago
    It sounds like both families are prudent about limiting or eliminating outside contacts, which means if you guys have each been isolated for that long, you don't have any germs you can even GIVE each other! I'm glad you live close enough that you can provide this kind of support for each other - I know it was great for EVERYONE'S mental health. (And you have beautiful grandkids!)
    60 days ago
    No judgement!! emoticon emoticon
    60 days ago
    It's fine. Patrick and Jean both can use a break which will help them mentally AND physically.
    You've simply made the decision to be a "family group" that lives in two separate houses. Now you need to include their household in your daily consideration of activities.
    I'm grocery shopping for my daughter's family as it's not in anyone's best interest for them to go out. Her negative test was deemed false. She's much improved now but 2 of the kids are slightly ill.
    60 days ago
    Nobody here would EVER judge you ever ever ever.

    You make the decisions for YOU and only you fully understands all the pressures and stresses of your life and the lives of those you hold most dear.

    No need to explain, no need to defend.

    So happy that you were able to spend this utterly necessary time with your lovable grandchildren and give your son and his amazing wife a little breather. . .
    60 days ago
    Good for you! Keeping your son in my prayers. I think when this pandemic ends (please God), there will be a lot of people going craycray. Hoarders, agoraphobics, germophobes, etc.
    60 days ago
  • SWILSON2347
    I feel your pain. I am missing my kids and grandkids too! But they insist that we must stay a part - they tell me that I am at risk because I will be 73 this month....but I am healthy! But since my precious husband died a year ago, they are panicking and are telling me that they don't want to lose me too,,,,,so I am spending a lot of long days alone, but I know that I am loved! emoticon emoticon
    60 days ago
    60 days ago
    60 days ago
    Families stick together no matter what! emoticon
    60 days ago
    60 days ago
    This is the most unimaginably tough time for you and yours. You have to do what you feel best. That's all you can do! Anyone who judges should walk a million miles, ok, maybe just even ONE mile, in your shoes.

    Take care, stay well, stay safe. emoticon
    60 days ago
  • no profile photo ROSSYFLOSSY
    Stay safe!
    60 days ago
  • no profile photo MLR_00
    60 days ago
    My mom (67) and I are having a really hard time staying apart. We’ve been doing it so far but I don’t know how much longer we’ll make it. I feel like you and going over there but struggle with not wanting to get them sick. It’s so hard.
    60 days ago
    60 days ago
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