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What day is this again?

Thursday, April 02, 2020

Lose track of what day it is and what time! Feels a bit like I am in limbo! Yesterday I had a great adventure that reminded me that I am still alive and that despite the news and challenges we face, this too will pass and the world is just in a temporary re-setting period!

Right after lunch, I got a call I had been waiting for . . . My car was ready - late in January of early in February I had a run in with a deer. The only local shop did the estimate and dealt with the insurance, but since it is our only local shop, they couldn't get it in to be repaired until March 23. There was a LOT of damage but it was still driveable and now I was FINALLY able to pick it up. My son and I drove in the rental and picked up the car - I walked over to my car but did not interact with anyone (Ed signed the papers and got the key). From there we drove about an hour to drop of the rental. I drove my car and Ed drove the rental. When we got there, I stayed in the car, Ed signed the papers and returned the key by leaving it in the car. We then went grocery shopping because the rental agency is in the "BIG" city and there are more stress etc. I stayed in the car and listened to music on the radio while Ed donned mask and gloves. He got veggies and fruit and meat and the essentials we needed before we headed home.

As we were driving home, I realized I was feeling more alive! I had no interaction with any humas, but I enjoyed the ride. I noticed all the signs of Spring. There were flowers, trees both getting their leaves and filled with blossoms. I saw the redbud trees and forsythia starting to display their glory. There were tulips and daffodils and all the other colorful flowers. There were dozens of baby animals in the fields. I like all the calves to little black blossoms in the grass. Saw deer, groundhogs, bunnies, squirrels, birds, etc. I enjoyed the beauty of the mountains and both the wonderful warm sunshine to the occasional April showers that came on and off as we drove.

It felt good to be out and about and I didn't come within six (probably closer to twenty) feet of anyone else, but it was a nice afternoon. I get grounded and less adrift than I have been feeling the past couple of weeks. It was nice.

In addition to the isolation, I realized yesterday that I have also been suffering from a brief reaction that comes a few times a year, especially this week. My younger son's birthday is Monday and as it approaches each year, my body and my emotions both react weirdly. Once I recognize that it is happening, I can process it better and a sense of relief/peace settles in. This year he would have turned 50. He has a cousin who turned 50 yesterday and often Brett's birthday is a trigger because Brett and my Michael were twin cousins - born so close together and raised close together and each other's best friends. It affects me more when I am under stress of am busy so I don't notice the date until it catches me by surprise.

Anyhow the adventure combined with the recognition of the date left me feeling more peaceful and in control for the moment.

Everyone have a wonderful, safe and healthy day! Take time to show others your sunny side. It can save lives by offering a bright light for others struggling to find hope!
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