Being Kind (girly stuff, guys beware)
Saturday, January 11, 2020
January in its short 11 days has been just as bipolar as this year's Michigan Winter. I have PCOS, for my entire 28 years of life I can count on one hand how many periods I've had. All of them because of medication induced it. Even with PCOS the chance of becoming pregnant is still there so I got an IUD. I've had one before and loved it. This round, however, sucks. Non-stop period.
I never went through this when I was younger and could complain about it with my friends who were going through the same thing. In fact, I was so out of the loop, I asked my mom one day while heading to the book store what was a period my friends kept talking about.
For the past 30 + days I have felt the gauntlet of mother nature. Drained, fatigue, freezing, starving, craving chocolate non-stop, and fibro fog like no other. On top of all of this, I'm hitting red tap after red tape for some of the projects I'm building for my job. Then I want to be healthier (and thinner would be great) but just those beginning stages of being healthy.
I was so hard on myself for eating over my calorie goals, for being too cold to go on a walk, for supplying and eating that supply twice of chocolates in my desk. Then letting get my anxiety get the best of me for anemic symptoms (My doctor already did a blood test yesterday). I felt this 2020 new year, new me, new whatever already fail even though it's only day 11.
But I weighed myself, my start over I know I just gained 20 pounds in a week, new weight. And I saw the number and about fell over, and not from the freezing, dizzy, anemic symptom fall over. I lost 8 pounds. Through eating fast food every day, eating chocolate, not walking, going home and crashing for 12 hours; I still did ok. More than ok.
It hit me this morning as I was anxious about this ice storm heading our way, going to work and driving back in this crazy Michigan winter. I need to be kind. Maybe this isn't my year of losing the weight or being 100% healthy. Maybe this isn't the year I can turn the shelter from almost bankrupt to a thriving community center. But this can be the day that I know I'm giving myself the 100% chance of just being in the moment.
Enjoying the trip, enjoying the ride, enjoying the moments and being kind.