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Of Course it will get Worse..and Better

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Life is full of things getting worse and better and the worse just makes the better better. Right now it is a gloomy rainy day. Yesterday, was a taste of Spring just tip toeing up to 60 degrees with sunshine. Yesterday, we spent a lot of time getting outdoor movement-walking, shooting baskets and playing tennis. The park was overflowing with people of all ages enjoying this taste of weather bliss. I know after a bout of some rainy days the sun will return again and while not as warm and yesterday, I will enjoy some sunshine while layered up. Things always get better at some point.

I see many gloomy days in the future when I think about dealing with my mother aging and sibling issues. Chances are mom's behavior will get more challenging, though a friend gave me hope when she shared her mother took a sudden turn for the more pleasant. It will likely be heck on earth the day I have to take her car keys, let alone the other things that go along with aging that I already experienced with one parent. If I spend too long thinking about all of that, I get filled with dread and I miss the sunny days. I backed away after one too many tantrums from her and discovered expanding my friendship network, and doing more things I enjoyed.I remind myself the worse days just make the better ones even better, but also having enough "better days" helps us build up the reserves to deal with the worse days.

So I am finding ways to enjoy life to build my strength.There is so much I cannot control in the future and sometimes seeing how difficult my mom can get already and knowing how her mother was, I feel like I have a sword of Damocles dangling over my head. The thing is I must not let fear prevail because it will rob me of sanity. I just have to accept this stressors and make the best of the situation I have and not spend all my time obsessing over the dangling sword.Who knows, when it falls, it may not even hurt much or I may be strong enough that recovery is easier than I thought. Regardless, for today I enjoy all that life has to offer. I plan for fun activities and finally going on vacation this summer. I chose happiness, health, bravery and laughter.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FRABBIT
    Sending you strength!
    49 days ago
  • SPICY23
    emoticon sending you sunny thoughts. Stay strong,
    emoticon

    Peace and Care
    49 days ago
  • _RAMONA
    emoticon
    emoticon
    52 days ago
  • 2BFITKAT
    Hang in there!
    52 days ago
  • 2BDYNAMIC
    I commend you for having such a positive and realistic attitude. Sending good vibes for strength.
    53 days ago
  • FITMARY
    Love the focus on your summer vacation!
    emoticon
    53 days ago
  • KDYLOSE
    I've been realizing lately that my anxiety - worrying about painful things, imaginary or real, to come or dwelling on some physical problem - greatly intensifies any pain that I actually have.

    Also, about that spring-like Saturday, that was amazing. I was out hiking around Greenbrier Lake west of Frederick and it was such a mood lifter!
    53 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    Try to focus on kindness no matter the situation with being kind to yourself at the top of the list. Something that I have just learned in the past few years is that not every situation in life deserves a reaction including direct questions. Wish I had known this when in the midst of something similar to what you are dealing with now -- I would have tuned out the critics who did not have all the facts instead of trying to appease them which was a big waste of my limited time and energy.
    emoticon
    53 days ago
  • MEADSBAY
    YOu are one smart cookie!
    emoticon
    53 days ago
  • SPEDED2
    "I chose happiness, health, bravery and laughter." That's the choice that will keep you safe, even with the sword hanging over your head. Enjoy all those good days. emoticon
    53 days ago
  • RASOCKS
    i love your perspective! thank you!
    53 days ago
  • WARRIORSUE518

    "the dangling sword." I guess everyone has one. I like how you're thinking. We can get so obsessed wanting to "plan" for that unknown future that it will just make us crazy and may not even be truth.

    53 days ago
  • PACEKA1
    Good way of putting it. The worse things do make the good things feel even better. We have been having a string of gloomy days - a lot of rain on top of the snow is making for very icy walkways and roads. We had to drive last night in pretty heavy rain about 40 minutes to attend the 50th birthday party for my niece (my ex-husband's sister's daughter). I did not want to go but my dear husband said he'd be happy to drive in that awful weather. We were both so glad we did!
    53 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Your blog is so full of wisdom, my dear. None of us knows exactly what the future holds, but . . . we can learn from past experiences so that future experiences are a little easier. You certainly have done your share of that!

    The loss of independence that comes w/aging is a huge emotional and physical battle. The stronger we make ourselves, emotionally and physically, the less traumatic these events become. It will never be easy, though. We both know that. Just have to be prepared, and you've been doing that.

    As difficult as it was going thru what you did w/your Dad, it taught you a lot that you can apply to dealing with your Mom. That's definitely a positive.

    Good for you for planning fun things. You all need that!

    HUGS and blessings
    53 days ago
  • THISTIME18
    Focus on what you can control and know that you have the ability to meet whatever challenges that will present themselves when they do. Sufficient unto the day is the trouble thereof.

    One day at a time, my friend.

    emoticon
    53 days ago
  • TERRACOTTAGE
    Hope you have a healthy and happy day. emoticon emoticon
    53 days ago
  • ALEXSGIRL1
    hugs
    53 days ago
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