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Jokes and yearly goals

Sunday, December 22, 2019

The topic for the past week is: Review and reflect on how you did with achieving your goals this year. Did you accomplish all or most of your goals? What could you do better this year?

My goals for last year was to lost weight I didn't make the 150 . But I lost
some weight. My biggest goal for last year was my and CJ 10 min a day
exercises streak. . We are now on our 927 day. This year I am working on both goals. But also working on not eating through the night and not eating in bed. I am getting good at not eating during the night, But breaking the habit of not eating in bed is hard/. I am also trying to eat more freggie especially veggie.

jokes
ACTUAL STATEMENTS FROM INSURANCE CLAIMS
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest
possible words.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't
have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head
through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.


I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did
not see the other car.

DEADBEAT IN A BAR
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."

HUGE PAUSE
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"
The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"
The bear says, "I've had them all my life.
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