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Healthy Armor!

Thursday, December 05, 2019

In so many ways the fat on my body was emotional armor. I ate to stuff feelings and it created a physical layer of protection. That protection actually kept me physically warmer (I now have to wear thermals for my early morning walks!) and it made me invisible to some people, but I was still quite vulnerable emotionally. Now I create emotional armor in healthy ways.

1. Know your safe tried and true friends.
An old friend from childhood wants to become close again. She is a genuinely nice person, but I am figuring out why the friendship faded in childhood. She can be emotionally tone deaf. I give her the benefit of the doubt because my gut tells me her heart is pure. I suspect, it is a struggle with empathy. That said, I now know I need some invisible armor. I will not share where my emotional triggers/buttons are, I will gently test the waters to see if she will truly become a friend again or remain a pleasant acquaintance. I have safe friends and fortunately one of those safe people is my husband. I wear no metaphorical armor with him because he is a tried and true best friend.

2. Work through difficult emotions, don't stuff them.
Thinking, reflecting, exercising, reading self-help articles and writing in my gratitude journal help me work through those emotions I wanted to avoid. I protect myself from letting them destroy me by using healthy coping mechanisms.

3. Fortify the brain and body for life's challenges
Healthy food and exercise strengthen my mind and body so I have the strength for life's battles/obstacles. Blubber from junk just weakened me.

I lost the little I gained from all the pumpkin pie I consumed during and the days after Thanksgiving. No regrets-I look forward to that indulgence each year.

Keeping my armor healthy and knowing when I can safely remove it are so key to this whole process for me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Very positive, insighful blog! You have a lot of good plans and strategies going forward. It's good that you learned that body armor in the form of fat can protect us only in certain ways but not in the most important ones. I hope your renewed relationship with a childhood friend turns out well. But it's great that you have your tried and true husband, no matter what. That must give you great strength.

    Your #3 is so true! Eating the right food and keeping the body strong through exercise really, really helps us deal with hardships so much more easily than when we're carbed out and inflamed from overeating.
    50 days ago
    I love what you have written here. Right now I am working on some really difficult emotions that I have had stuffed for so many years. Apparently, it's not enough to put them away - I need to bring them out into the sunshine and examine where they are coming from. Thanks for always putting into words the thoughts in my head!
    51 days ago
  • SPICY23
    emoticon Your foundations are strong. Your childhood friend ... ... whom you describe as genuinely nice, and her heart as pure ... ... sounds like someone worth a few minutes of your time to reconnect and reassess. 'Emotionally tone deaf' may indicate a deficit in social skills. Caution, of course, but she may need a friend who understands Special Needs.

    Peace and Care
    51 days ago
    Here's to keeping that 'armour' healthy!
    52 days ago
  • PHOENIX1949
    52 days ago
    Wise words!
    I remember losing about 25 lbs one year in my 30’s and all of a sudden a few of the men I had worked with for five years or so were paying a whole lot more attention to me and it was very uncomfortable.
    I was a married mom of two and emotionally not mature enough to deal with that!
    Not sure if that had anything to do with me regaining that weight.
    Or maybe it was just going off whatever the diet-du-jour was that year.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    52 days ago
    great blog Hugs
    52 days ago
    Another lovely blog. And I am glad you enjoyed your indulgence and plan to do it again. We have to enjoy life and good things. Otherwise God would not have invented sugar. It is just trying to find the balance.
    53 days ago
    Many people , usually women, protect themselves with fat. As for your friend, find out what is happening with her before you decide anything. We rarely know what others really are going through. Unless you don’t enjoy her company...
    53 days ago
    I remember years ago.. i lost sixty pounds .. I quickly realized that having that extra weight helped me emotionally like setting boundaries and keeping people at a safe and comfortable distance.. I quickly regained the weight to a comfortable place..that was then and this was now..I look at losing the weight for health and not so much as a way to be accepted by others... I accept myself and love myself..I wish you well on your journey to health..if you need support i am here
    53 days ago
    Detach with love applies to friends as well as family. Trust your instincts. The new healthy armor fits you well. Fight the good fight. May you win the battle. emoticon emoticon
    53 days ago
    What a great blog! It's interesting when someone from the past wants to rekindle a relationship. People do change . . . I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but you are aware of what the behavior was in the past, so you're prepared for it.

    It's such a blessing to have DH's as best friends, for sure!


    53 days ago
    Good thoughts. emoticon
    53 days ago
    It seems to me that you did a great analysis of the problem and the solution. I really like the realization that "Blubber from junk just weakened me".
    53 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Have a great week
    53 days ago
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