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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Got these from an old online post by countryliving.com If you have a very functional and harmonious family, you may want to skip these for risk of not getting the joke or not finding it remotely funny. If you have some dysfunction, enjoy!

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"For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag."
Andy Borowitz

"If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'"
Mitch Hedberg

“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”
Erma Bombeck

“Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1863.”

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."
Johnny Carson

“Thanksgiving—when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook."
Melanie White

"There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey."

"It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring."
Friends TV show

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