I’d been praying at the shrine of chronic pain for over a decade now. Ignoring the warning signs for several months that my spine was sending me. Blaming them on the other health ailments that seem to have piled up before me like an adventure rock wall, greased with olive oil. And hey look, the rope above me just broke. What?
The doctors I saw last week at the Pain Clinic kept asking me what physical activity I was doing to bring on this back injury, but really all I did was wake up. No wily Bruce Lee Kung-Fu awesomeness burst forth from my body (darn it).
Worried about potential nerve damage, those docs sent me to the Emergency Room - AKA the People Zoo (right??). When I think about it, you need the same supplies for the ER as you would the Zoo: snacks, tissues, antibac, bandages and a tremendous amount of patience.
I’m not complaining. People who work in the ER have hearts of gold as far as I’m concerned. We are not easy.
Add in the detail of telling them, “I have to inform you I am a chronic pain patient”, places me in a different category for everyone’s safety (and refers them to my monster-sized file). My treatment often takes longer since I need a pain specialist. Breathe breathe breathe. Leaves in a stream and all that meditation stuff.
I had the MRI and we got home after 4:00AM the next day. Somehow I injured my already bulging discs in my lower back from a 15 year old injury that decided to wake up again. Well hello there old injury. I certainly hear ya now.
Behind the scenes a medical procedure coordinator pulled necessary levers and pushed buttons to schedule the back procedure that I have scheduled for today. It’s been several sleepless days now. I am amazed at how difficult it has been to meet my basic needs + my chronic pain ridiculousness. I found myself reciting that line, ‘send in the monkeys!’ more than once to get through this.
Still, it could be worse. The discs have not ruptured. Very happy about that. Just need to tell my inner 3 year old to stop whining: ‘hurry up! Hurry up! Me! Me! MEEEEE!’. Be patient. Sheesh!
Breathe. Leaves in a stream. Breathe.
Hey look. Sparkly ball!!
Yeah, I need to find a different method of meditation, ha!
I am grateful, regardless of what happens today : )