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just sayin’ … the day before sittin’ pondering answers

Tuesday, October 01, 2019

I like most Sparkers blog for … ME. To get my thoughts out in front of me and journal my way to healthy while sharing my life with others.

BUT … to be honest … I like the feedback.

The feedback provides support, encouragement, validates and at times … provokes insightful self-questions and offers answers.

This past week I have been looking for Nemo … I mean my true hunger signs.

Sunday's blog asked others to share their hunger signs. I got 4 answers out of the 11 who commented on my blog.

I also asked what would you eat if you ate your favorite food. NO one responded.

So … today … the day before my 43rd wedding anniversary … I ponder.

Do we find these questions too … messy to answer??? Have we overridden our physical messages while trying to find the PERFECT diet to get to that PERFECT weight???

In the book Intuitive Eating page 2 … Feeling like you don’t deserve to eat, because you’re overweight … leapt off the page and it has been echoing in my “fat” brain ever since.

I shared with OneKidsMom … I don’t feel like I am better than anyone … I just know that I am not LESS than anyone.

Now my self-worth … well, that’s another question entirely.

Somehow, I KNEW that I deserved hubby … he treated me with respect, dignity and tenderness. This was very, very foreign to me coming from a dysfunctional, physical and mentally abusive, neglectful childhood household.

I KNEW we would conquer the world and share our love and life together.

I KNEW it. And we have … for 43 years and counting.

I don’t KNOW what my body is telling me coz I have not learned to listen to it. I have not trusted it … like I trust my dear hubby.

A fatherless girl thinks all things are possible and nothing is safe. ~Mary Gordon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SPICY23
    emoticon emoticon "Feeling like you don’t deserve to eat, because you’re overweight … leapt off the page and it has been echoing in my “fat” brain ever since." Now it's echoing in my fat brain.

    I think there's a backlash that happens lightning fast after this thought - I DO SO deserve to eat, and I can eat whatever I want ... and here we are ... again ... ugh

    Peace and Care
    48 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    I'm not sure what a hunger sign is, so I can't truly answer this question.

    But my #1 comfort food is peanut butter, straight out of the jar.

    Like you, I am not better than anyone, but I Am as good as anyone else.

    Great blog!
    64 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    69 days ago
    Great Bog and LOVE the photo!

    69 days ago
    Sweet picture. So '70's!

    I missed the food question being overwhelmed at the shout-out and wanting to reply about fullness!

    Lasagna, of course!
    Or is it ice cream?
    Spicy curry.
    Naw, it's lasagna. I'm sure.
    69 days ago
    Lovely pic of you two...happy anniversary!
    Aren’t we the lucky ones?
    To find such good men to guide us out of our less than ideal early life!

    I’m struggling to name foods I would eat as I eat almost whatever I want...although I have avoided carbs for so many years I done really crave them any more.
    Maybe pasta, warm bread, crepe brûlée...all of which I do eat very occasionally (like for an anniversary).
    69 days ago
    Congrats to 43 years together!
    Lovely picture of you and husband.

    I'm sorry I misunderstood your second question! I focused on the "can stop when full" part, not the 'favorite" part.
    It is tricky. because there are foods I like the taste of but I know I'm never able to stop when I'm fully.
    If that was not the case, I would eat french fries, ice cream, certain cakes, pizza, spaghetti and the like often.
    But, sadly, I know that I cannot stop when I'm full, and they make me feel crap, so I usually avoid them.
    Oh well... I have other favorites that I can enjoy and stop when I'm full, and I can live with that : )

    69 days ago
    OH, as my comment was on your last blog, bread would be my choice of food I'd eat IF I could eat and feel satisfied. But it doesn't agree w/me, so have to avoid it.

    Congratulations on 43 yrs. together! That's an accomplishment in this day and age of seemingly disposable relationships!

    69 days ago
    I have problems coming up with a favorite food, as it varies so much. It's situational. When I was pregnant I craved tacos and spinach. But a lot of foods that were favorites years ago are no longer so... I rarely choose pizza or burgers any more.

    As for physical hunger signs... pretty standard: growling tummy as the juices say "I'm empty"!
    69 days ago
    What a beautiful picture of the two of you.

    My VERY favourite food? Hmmmm. There are so many!! Particularly like fresh raspberries and had a generous serving last evening for supper.

    How do I know when I'm hungry? Hmmmmmm again. Well . . . I feel hungry!! And really for anything -- but not, typically, for the junk food stuff at least not any more. Potato chips have lost their thrill and I hope it stays lost . . . right now I'm looking forward to my lunch salad which is spinach with tomato, carrot, celery, radish, sugar snap peas and some chicken too. Avocado dressing. Planning to take Henry out to the picnic table to enjoy it in the sunshine!!

    So glad to hear from you that you are NOT focusing on weight loss this week . . . but on listening to your body and building trust. YAY!!!!
    69 days ago
    Sorry, I have not been Sparking much recently. Going through a mentally rough patch and haven't felt like blogging or posting.

    I find it difficult to listen to my body since my mind is so freakin loud.

    You are NOT less than anyone. You are worthy!
    69 days ago
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