There are three things that I want to do starting now. There will be other goals and achievements that may find there way on to this very small to do list, I’m sure. But for now, three things is about all I can take on. I understand too, being that I’m a little older and little wiser in the ways of mayhem, life will happen. It’s how I’m going to roll with life’s coaster is the true test. It’s all going to depend on me. There will be days when I have to hold on a little tighter and some days I just throw my hands up in fearless abandon. I’ve got this.
In Southern California, where I hail from, we have what we call the “June Gloom” or the “May Gray”, where an offshore marine layer will come in and cover the landscape with a heavy fog. From the early morning to about noon, this fog will loom, making an otherwise perfect morning, into a gloomy one. Then it burns off and it’s sun’s out, gun’s out. Where am I going with this?This scenario has been my life for the last couple of years. With out getting into to much detail, because, hey, we’ve just met, I have been living in this fog and it’s just now starting to burn off. I have an awesome support system and coping mechanisms in place to lift me up when that fog tries to creep back in again.
So, back to the three things. The first thing is to knit a sweater. It’s random, I know, but this a level up for me. One of my coping mechanisms is knitting. I find such zen in working the needles and creating something beautiful. This is a rare talent and one I take pride in. I have gotten quite proficient at it and am ready to take on the sweater. I’m giving myself a year for this one.
My second thing is to take care of myself. I know I can’t set a timeline on this one. It’s on going. But positive changes made everyday, over time can make such a difference. I have already noticed a change in my appearance and attitude in the tiny steps forward that I have taken.
There are things that I still want to do and places to see. I need to take care of me, mind, body, and soul. To be present. My Mama always says, “ if you don’t have your health, you don’t have nothin”.
The third thing I would like to do is to find my passion. What am I passionate about? I don’t know. I haven’t sat down or really contemplated this aspect. How well do I really know myself? I’m a complete stranger to myself and it’s time to get reacquainted with the girl that I wanted to be so many years ago.
These three things, knit a sweater, taking care of myself, and finding my passion is just a jumping off point into a deep pool of possibilities. So, here I am, with nothing to lose (except pounds and crippling self-doubt), ready to take the plunge,
This was the time (last July), when I flew solo to New Zealand (scared af) and ended up having the best trip ever! I like this girl! We need to hang out more often.