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jokes and family Christmas tradition

Saturday, December 22, 2018

We was told to write about anything this week so I am writing about
my Christmas tradition.
1. We used to always decorate the Christmas tree on Dec. 23 my
grandfather birthday.
2. We always have a live tree.
3. We always go to midnight mass what now start at 10 pm.

4. We always eat Christmas eve dinner next door at my sister what always
include mushroom soup , Pierogies, Kielbasa and Oplatky. Oplatky are wafer,. The wafers, which are 5 1/2in. x 2 3/4in., come with 4 beautiful Christmas images, such as the Nativity or the Star of Bethlehem stamped on the wafer. It a Catholic tradition.

5 After mass we give out 1 Christmas gift.
6. After the gift giving we have wine and go to bed.
7. We wake up early and give out the rest of the gift.
8 we eat a breakfast of pierogies and bread.
9. We then cook the ham and turkey for Christmas dinner
what include most of the family coming over.
10. We then give out Christmas gifts. On Thanksgiving we
pick name to buy a gift for 1 person,
11. We then play games .

We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.
One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.
"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman
It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.

Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

Wearing white is always appropriate.

Winter is the best of the four seasons.

It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.

There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.

The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.

We're all made up of mostly water.

You know you've made it when they write a song about you.

Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

Avoid yellow snow. Don't get too much sun.

It's fun to hang out in your front yard.

Always put your best foot forward.

There's no stopping you once you're on a row.

Actual Church Bulletins

The 1991 Spring Council retreat will be hell May 10 & 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.

The ladies of the church have cast-off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.

The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."

A new loud speaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She is numb from her toes down.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Have a great Christmas

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