jokes and 2018 goals review
Saturday, December 15, 2018
This is my assignment for the Aspire and Inspire weekly challenge. This week we were asked to review and reflect on how you did with achieving your goals this year. Did you accomplish all or most of your goals? goals for 2018.
1. weigh in the 150 no where near it
2. do my exercise streak until at least I make it to a year - I did this
3. strength exercises at least twice a week - didn't do this
4 eat more healthier - working on this
5. tried to cut down on my meds - did this
6. I got a goal it might be silly but I want to hear my wii say I am at normal weight- no where near it
What could you do better with next year?
I need to work more on losing weight. I need to work on doing more
strength training. Also I need to drink more water.
OKAY NOW FOR THE JOKES hopefully they funny
Okay ACTUAL STATEMENTS FROM INSURANCE CLAIMS
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
BUY ME OUT
A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate office. I can't stand agents."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperworks."
"I hate paperworks," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my real estate office, but you don't like office and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"
The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"
The bear says, "I've had them all my life."