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looking in my soul . some of my facts .

Saturday, September 22, 2018

ok we have had a what i would call a good marriage . we did not cheat on each other . we stayed together and lived life . right now its been over 15 years since he retired . work was his thing . he lived for work . He was good at work . He had many work friends . He knew what his job was and did it very well . when he retired he sort of lost that control . and control is something he must have at all times . control . when he was home all the time i guess he looked at my job as one he could do better . so slowly he took over all things . He thought he could do better . soon i was looked at like a unnecessary object . He thought in his head he could do it all . i am waiting i guess to see if he no longer wants to be together . but he treats me well except to act like i am his child to be ordered around like he is big daddy and little old me just can not do it . even though i did it for over 50 odd years .
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon that's so sad. It's psychological abuse.
    438 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/14/2018 9:00:31 AM
    This makes me so sad . My hubby is home with me on disability, first 6 months were hard. We established our jobs and adjusted , you need mutual respect , you need to tell him you’re dying inside , tell him you miss him and want to grow together ...
    472 days ago
    ALL Though our marriage he has taken away stuff . little things i never noticed at the start . plants . i used to have window full of wonderful green plants . they showed off my green thumb . they loved my window sills . then new window came and the plants had to go . water marks on his wooden sills .no dish sat there could help . then used to go to town with my daughter once a week . loved going enjoy being with her . then he complained about many thing so it was cut down . first to three time a month then every other week then twice a month . then once a month . now it no times . he says i spend to much and come home with more then i need . so i do not go . the fights about me leaving to spend time with anyone is not an choice . then other things .Christmas . my favorite time of the year . i used to get two or three names of the local trees and give a christmas to a young child . loved people and the spirit of loving and giving . but he acted like scrooge Magdalena and i could no longer . lhe seems to take the joy out of living . from all things . bitter . and unhappy with everything . so i gave him his way most of our marriage . i love the man the one who used to be . it is hard to explain to others . but feel like i am buried alive and do not want to fight anymore . when he retired he was lost and we butted heads over thing . he knew how to do everything better then i did . and he told me daily . heck hourly how he was better at it all .

    479 days ago
  • LADY51
    "A kind word turneth away wrath". Wish I would have remembered those words. I didn't, I left and four months later he died of a massive heart attack. Ya'll think twice about what is going on. Talk it out!
    479 days ago
  • LINDA!
    My hubby retired 12.5 years ago.Fortunately, he does not miss it at all. I retired when he did. We find different things to do each day. I certainly hope that all remains good in your marriage through the years.
    491 days ago
  • READY201811
    Sorry. My husband retired in April and I have been struggling all summer. We are taking a love and respect class and joined a gym we workout together three days a week. We are together 24/7 and I cannot do anything at his level. So I stopped trying. I no longer cook and clean - he does. I do the laundry and decorate our porch and he gets the,rest of the house. Actions speak louder than words and finding our compromise and balance
    491 days ago
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