Happy New Year! Welcome to 2018!
I know a lot of people this year who are talking down the idea of New Year's Resolutions. They say that their resolutions always fail throughout the year so they've given up on the idea of setting them in the first place. Many have replaced it with other ideas/thoughts - like a "word" for the year. But...isn't that actually just the same thing? Look, I get it. People shy away from setting goals because they fear the failure of never hitting those goals...but what course are you on if you never set a destination? I just don't understand that thinking. No offense to anyone who doesn't do the whole resolution thing. If you can do that and it works with your mindset - That's AWESOME for you! Seriously! But my brain doesn't work that way. I need goals. I have to have them. I have to have something to focus on or I feel completely 100% lost and aimless and worthless in my life. And Lord knows I'm getting over that fear of failure after so many years of not hitting the same goal over and over! Honestly, I think Trevor Noah said it best in his book Born a Crime -
It's not the fear of failure we should worry about. It's the fear of regret. Failure is an answer. Regret is a question that can NEVER be answered.
So I set resolutions and focus words and I'm okay with them changing throughout the year. For me, the resolution/goal/word has to be vague and general enough for me to be able to shift my focus throughout the year. So this year's word is...
I picked this word for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it can be used a lot of ways for a lot of various goals I have in my life.
DOWNSIZE my waist, my fat, my body!
DOWNSIZE the crap I own!
DOWNSIZE my debt!
DOWNSIZE my fears that hold me back!
DOWNSIZE my reading list!
Last year's words had a lot to do with LOVE - and that worked for me! It was about loving myself, feeling love, appreciating love, loving my friends, loving my family and surrounding myself with the kind of sustainable love that makes you happy to wake up in the morning - even if I'm the ONLY one giving myself that love.
This year my focus is DOWNSIZE. Less is more. The less I have, the more I appreciate what I have. The less weight I have, the more I will be able to appreciate my life. The less I buy and seek and obtain, the more my focus will be on what is here, what is available, what it ready for me now. I know it's not going to be easy, but I know 100% it will be worth it!
DOWNSIZE my body
The picture on the left is a comparison of my day of surgery vs. my mother and I in the very same shirt we wore BEFORE our weight loss surgery success. We can now BOTH fit into that shirt! CRAZY! The second image is of one year's progress. The before and afters of one year are going to start looking less OMG because the weight I have to lose still is much, much smaller. Last year, I continued my success post-VSG and lost another 45 pounds. Significantly smaller than the 118 pounds I lost in 2016! This year, my goal is around 30 pounds. The last 30. The final 30. The THIS IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL WEIGHT 30! The fact that I'm here at all....It's amazing to me! So I'm going to keep focusing on how far I've come, the fact that I know I can because I've already done it, and keep going until I'm 100% sure that I can no longer improve my body on my own and MUST get surgical assistance.
So this is my Day 1 - January 1, 2018 BEFORE picture. While I think the weight loss will slow down considerably, I think the body changes will really show the hard work I'm going to be putting in. This picture was taken right before I went downstairs at my mother's house to use her treadmill to do a one mile run. I wasn't able the run the whole thing. I ran about 3/4 of it. I felt sore and tired and sluggish. But while everyone else was watching TV and eating, I was downstairs putting in the time I needed to put in to start the year off right. Tonight, I'm scheduled for another 1 mile run. Whether I am able to run the whole thing or not, I'll be clocking in FOR SURE.
Helping me focus on my goal of DOWNSIZING are these two amazing men. While 2017 was incredibly hard for me - I had a falling out with my oldest son and I thought for sure we wouldn't be speaking again for years the way he chose to freeze me out - I had to go to court several times over custody, filing a DVP to get my ex to let go...it wasn't pretty. It was a year of a LOT of tears and disappointments. But as I reflected back on the year at midnight on NYE, I realized it was more GOOD than BAD. My oldest son came over for Christmas Eve dinner. It's a start! My ex is finally OUT of the picture. I stood up for my youngest son during the custody battle and he got what he wanted/needed from our arrangement. And these two men rallied around me, bonded and provided the shelter I needed to weather the storm that was 2017. It's crazy that during such turmoil in my life, I felt MORE LOVE than I have in my entire life thanks to these two!
And the LOVE isn't going to stop! My family did something they never do...they actually sang Happy Birthday to me and gave me the greatest gift of all - feeling LOVED and APPRECIATED a week before my birthday. My birthday is exactly ONE WEEK after New Year's Day. Typically people are too tired, worn out, broke and deep into their no spending and no eating out goals to celebrate with me. I've struggled with it my entire life. In 2017 I kinda let go of any expectations and really had an incredible day! This year, acting goofy and lighthearted, I made myself a little treat out of a chocolate chip pancake my mother had made for everyone for our New Year's Day breakfast...and they seized the opportunity, stuck a candle in it, and sang me the birthday song. It was simple and silly and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT! What's more - this year is the first year I don't have to plan my own birthday! I've been planning my own for about 20 years now, but this year my boyfriend has taken it upon himself to make all the plans, send out invites, etc. All I have to do is drive in the direction he points and enjoy myself! I honestly don't care if it's just me and him at dinner - I'm so absolutely happy to feel so loved and taken care of! I can't tell you how much I appreciate the fact that he noticed that TAKING TIME OUT TO PLAN FOR ME is what I always really wanted. And it doesn't cost anyone a dime.
So here we go! Off to 2018! I started it off the right way! I'm working at chipping away at my goals. I expect to stumble and fall along the way. I expect failure - that's how we learn what doesn't work. But I also expect to know at the end of this year what it looks like to give it my all and try. No regrets from not knowing. HERE WE GO!
This week's training schedule:
Mon - 1 mile
Tue - 1 mile
Wed - Strength Training
Thurs - OFF
Fri - 1 mile
Sat - 1.5 miles
Sun - OFF
Eat under 1500 calories.
Try to get to 70g protein.
Take your vitamins.
Keep up on your decluttering goals.
Save, don't spend!
Drink plenty of water!
AND HAVE SOME FRIGGIN' FUN IF YOU CAN!