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Jokes and Holiday party

Sunday, December 24, 2017

For the Aspire & Inspire team we were asked to blog about Holiday party.Do you have any holiday parties or gatherings to attend? Well we have christmas eve dinner at my sis, Christmas at my sis, and another Christmas at my sis, How will you achieve success, what are you goals? My goal is not to overeat, . I will make my goal by the one plate rule. I will only
eat one plate of dinner. What are some of the ways you can incorporate fitness/exercise into the busy holiday season? I find if I do my exercise early in the morning I can get it done.

Ear Muffs
Winters are fierce in Minnesota where he lives, so the owner of a construction project felt he was doing a good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman.
Noticing, however, that the foreman wasn't wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest day, the project manager asked, "Didn't you like the muffs?"
The Foreman said, "They're a thing of beauty."
"Why don't you wear them?" The Project Manager said.
The Foreman explained, "I was wearing them the first day, and somebody offered to buy me lunch, but I didn't hear him! Never again, never again!"

It Was So Cold that
We had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
When I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
The optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
Kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets just to keep them warm!
The squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
People with traffic tickets would plead guilty and beg for the electric chair!
Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!
We had to chop up the piano for firewood - but we only got two chords.
We had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas!
When we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!
Words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!
The dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running!

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