The Sound of Silence
Friday, October 06, 2017
I began my 8 years at Spark in silence and although I am still here, I have fallen silent again.
Thank you to all who have inquired about my situation. I apologize for my lack of response.
You do deserve an explanation.
Since the tragedy at Charlottesville, I’ve been incredibly sad.
My sadness and disbelief has increased day by day.
I’ve always tried to be supportive and encouraging in my writing here.
However, the situation in my country right now limits my spirit to write encouraging words.
So I have fallen silent.
There have been a few times in my life when I have been overcome by similar “situational” depression.
The year I spent with a new baby while my husband was being shot at in an Asian jungle was my first experience.
Perhaps it’s watching the documentary on The Viet Nam War which also coincided with the struggle for civil rights adding to my sadness. I remember flag waving “patriots” sending young men off to die while they stayed safely home. It’s now clear to me that we can coexist with any Communist government or other dictatorship as long as there is profit to be made and exporting our jobs there. I wish we could have figured that out 58,000 lives ago.
Joe and I are going through all our letters from what was the worst year of our lives. We’re reading them and burning them. I can’t shake the feeling that it’s all happening again.
Last year at this time Joe was recovering from emergency brain surgery. He received excellent care is thankfully is 100% fine. For that result I am extremely grateful.
However, the medical bills were astronomical. Because of Medicare and our supplemental policy, we paid zero out of pocket. For this I’m also grateful.
However, I’m also aware of medical bills as the leading cause of bankruptcy.
It pains me to see families facing medical disaster facing financial disaster as well and having to beg for charity. I have never been in the “I’ve got mine, the heck with everyone else” group.
Worst of all, I am saddened by all the comments in social media from those who have whole categories of those who do not deserve the “privilege” of healthcare.
The list of the “undeserving” varies.
The final straw for me was being told
“I do not want to pay for the healthcare of all those lazy, FAT people who destroy their health by eating junk and sitting on their butts all day.”
This was not a disembodied Internet troll, but someone I know, or thought I knew. He is not alone. There is a huge group that really feels there are people who deserve to be sick and die from lack of care!
Obese people are on the top of their list.
I volunteer in a nursing home. I know that after 6 months to 1 year of residence, most have exhausted their life savings and are supported by Medicaid (not Medicare which was not designed for this).
Medicaid is under attack for supporting all those “FAT, LAZY people...”
Personally, I’m fine. I believe in Spark principles and continue to follow them.
Yes, I’m still in maintenance. I still login each morning, spin the wheel and renew my determination, but that’s as far as it goes.
For 3 years I was a “Spark Hermit” – successful but existing alone in my little corner of the spark world.
I enjoyed 5 years of Spark activity interacting with like-minded people.
Now I’m back in my hermitage, silent once more.
I have only one encouraging thought to leave for you.
Remember that no matter what the life or world situation, overeating, eating junk food and neglecting exercise will not make it better.
Perhaps I can help make things better by finding my voice in a different venue.
Edit: December 23, 2017
Thank you Sparkers for your concern. I am fine.
There are many who need help and sadly many who are blaming the most vulnerable among us. It's those people who need our help and it's my goal to do that.
I am using my time, talent, voice and energy helping others in different venues other than Spark.
Thank you, again and I hope that your time on Spark is as valuable as mine has been.