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When it's just not working.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Starting over is hard, what's even harder is realizing and embracing the fact that you can't just exercise the weight off.

Ugh.

Despite going through this before already, I apparently developed the idea that if I ran and ran and ate "okay" it would just melt off. I don't know where I came up with this notion, marathon training maybe?
Except for the fact that I'm not running 100+ miles a month right now... regardless, I may not have said it out loud but obviously it was in the back of my mind.
So It's pretty easy to understand why I would be extremely frustrated over an injury that would eliminate running for 6-8 weeks and require that I start at phase 1 when that time expired.

As it would turn out, it was the best thing that could have happened to me, it forced me to re-evaluate everything. My "nutrition" wasn't good, my calorie intake was too high, which I knew and it wasn't good calories either.


So I started over. Literally.
Phase 1, back to the basics... water, water and more water.
Tracking my food.
Eating less.
Eating healthier.
Being active.
And guess what? It's working. I've lost consistently the last 8 weeks!

(This is the difference between trying to work it off only-ups and downs with no real progress-vs. focusing on nutrition and seeing consistency)
I'm able to run again, but I've mostly been walking for now, I want to get some more weight off before I continuously run again because of the strain the extra pounds puts on my body. I can't wait to be out running on a more regular basis again as it brings me great joy and is one of my best antidepressants.

The injury was the wake up call I needed, the heavier I was getting the more down I was too. Is my appearance everything to me? No. But I do need to be able to function without the added discomfort that being overweight causes.


I need to have the energy to run around with my kids, because that is one of the ways I connect with them on a joyful level.


I need to feel a certain amount of self-confidence and better my self esteem or my relationship with my husband suffers, not because he has some ridiculous standard for me, goodness no! Not that guy!
But rather, because I want to feel good FOR him, if I don't then I am more distant and down, therefore hurting our relationship.


Another thing that has struck me because of this injury, is needing to work on my self esteem (because of reasons listed above) for wherever I am WHILE I'm there.


I've said before, I'm a lot harder on myself than I would be if I was just someone I knew.
I'm not there yet, it's a work in progress, but I really am trying.
If you're stuck, it might be time to step back and reevaluate where you are and how you are approaching your goals.

To those with low self esteem:
The ONLY thing wrong with your appearance is the way YOU view it.

Much love,
Em
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