SP Premium
PERSISTENTTIM

SparkPoints
 

April2, 2017

Sunday, April 02, 2017

Youtu.be/pT9UpK0I72I My name is Tim Cogdill, I live in Olathe, KS, I'm 41 and weigh 638lbs, down from 800lbs on January 1st. I have a mass (called a pannus) on my lower body that weighs 100-200lbs. I have been bed bound since entering the hospital. We've found a surgeon and the surgery is scheduled for April 20th. Until then I am working to lose weight and working with physical therapy to try stand and eventually walk. I can be reached at persistenttim@gmail.com or Www.facebook.com/cogdill
76
First off thanks to everyone who has shared the fund page www.gofundme.com/800lbs it'll buy some things that will help for sure, and those that donated thank you too, I feel terrible having to ask for it but I have no choice. This week I've been a bit down but not really depressed. I've had a cough that won't go away, they did an X-ray and said it's viral and I can just take cough medicine and try to cough up what's in my lungs. I've also had 2 more units of blood transfused as my hemoglobin is low which explains part of my feeling so weak. They want me to increase my protein so I'm on shakes now so I can still stay under the calorie count. The main thing is I just feel blah or you might call it nothing. I'm no really down but I also can't get happy, all these medications are messing me up, I need out of here. I'm not being dramatic when I say I'm not so sure I'll ever leave here alive. I'm sorry to end on that note but I don't feel well. Thank you all for the support, love, prayers, and encouragement, you know without you guys I couldn't have made it this far! Have a great week friends!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SWEETENUFGILL
    I'd be amazed if you weren't feeling a bit 'empty' - the body and mind can only take so much. Being in a 'neutral' space seems understandable to me. Now that you have a date, and are being looked after by professionals, it's like almost all your power has been taken away. It's very hard to stay self-motivated and independent, if your condition necessitates being dependent on others. I don't know how you, personally, direct your prayers - but I really hope that your faith gives you strength and hope. I practice a different religion, but when we are unwell, we focus on directing our prayer to kind of flood every cell of our body with healing. Perhaps you are already doing this - or perhaps this might give you an idea of how you could direct your prayers to kind of 'fill' your body with a healing energy. I guess for you that might be Jesus' love for you, or the Holy Spirit - whatever words you choose to use, the idea is the same - allow yourself to be completely bathed in healing energy.
    emoticon
    1328 days ago
  • LEANJEAN6
    Tim--just keep on--because yu are down a lot in weight Don't give up!-- I am rooting for yu! Lynda
    1328 days ago
  • MSLZZY
    emoticon Hope all is well with you.
    I know this has been a real struggle.
    Good luck on your upcoming surgery!
    1332 days ago
  • CHELLEG10FIT2DA
    prayers for you Tim. things are going to get better:) you're going through a very dark time in your life right now but that sunshine will start peeking through the clouds and after your surgery eventually you will be walking again and eventually you will be able to walk outside and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not going through it but stay strong and be encouraged that this will be over soon and you will be in a better place soon. Hugs:) Take care
    1336 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    Tim, I'm very happy to hear that you will get the help you need. Continuing to keep you in my prayers.
    1336 days ago
  • IGNITEME101
    Tim, God knows the struggle is real. None enjoy the hospital. He's with you, son. I found that diet chances sometimes leave me feeling glad, at first. None of the feelings you're going through will separate you from the Love of God. He loves you!
    1337 days ago
  • TRINASFITLIFE
    I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I can say that I have my own health challenges. This has got to be incredibly difficult for you, but you have got to keep in going. Now with the surgery in place, brighter days are ahead. You'll make it and you're doing so wonderful and are such an inspiration to us!! Glad you got some money for your expenses for this! Your life is important, and can't wait to see how excited you'll be that you toughed this all out!!
    emoticon emoticon
    1337 days ago
  • SASSYGIRL173
    Tim,

    I'm so glad that you found a surgeon to do the procedure. I pray for you everyday and will continue to do so, please keep us posted. I know that once you have the surgery, you may be away for a while, but know that I will be thinking of you!

    Donna
    1338 days ago
  • PURPLE0906
    So glad you posted here as I am sure everyone was wondering. Hope you start feeling better, so many here are getting sick, coughing, strep, etc. Praying every night for you. I keep checking facebook and here and also share on twitter.
    Was just wondering if your parents received the package I sent.

    Take care

    emoticon emoticon
    1338 days ago
  • TERRIJ7
    Tim, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging your feelings. You're going through a difficult time and , as much as you want to stay positive and look forward to better health, it isn't going to be easy. I'm glad you finally have a surgeon and a date set. Getting rid of the pannus is the first step toward full recovery, and I'm exciting that you are getting another chance to live the life you want.
    1338 days ago
  • JANIEWWJD
    Got to keep your spirits up Tim. April 20th is not too far away!!! I know it's scary, but you can do it; you're strong, you've proven that!!! Will continue praying for you, my friend!!! God bless you!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1338 days ago
  • HARROWJET
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1338 days ago
  • BARBIEE52
    That's so encouraging..April 20th is not far away. I continue with prayers being sent to you!
    Many, many loving thoughts to you!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1338 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/3/2017 2:46:49 PM
  • JPPERSELL
    Hi Tim! I am so happy that you found a surgeon that is going to do the procedure. April 20th is right around the corner. I pray that after the pannus is removed that it will help you to get to walking. You lost so much weight and you should feel proud of yourself. I am sure that being in a hospital for as long as you have been is very difficult and could be depressing for you but I am sure that the medical staff is being very kind to you or I am praying that they are because you deserve love and kindness. Who doesn't, right? I pray that you feel better soon and that you are healed from the problems that you are having. God bless you and keep you in his care. Love, Janel
    1338 days ago
  • ASH1784
    So glad your surgery is becoming a reality! You are on my prayer list! I totally get the blah not feeling anything! I changed from my "happy pill" that worked just fine to a different one that was advertised to also help with fibromyalgia. I almost felt zombie-like. I guess you could say emotionless or flat. It really became noticeable after my husband's grandfather passed away and I was just numb. I was really close to him and I couldn't cry! So, I went back to my go to medicine and was back to myself in short order. Everyone is different. My mom loves the one I can't take. See if the doctors will change your medicine. Sure, blah beats depressed, but it sure isn't how you want to live! There are lots of different options out there. It's hard to advocate for yourself, especially when you don't feel well. Add to that the blahs and you've got a real struggle. I'm amazed at your determination and your openness! God will use that to bless and motivate others. I know He has used you to motivate me and to get me praying for my friends more and to open up more too. May He give you physical comfort, patience while you wait, peace with yourself and your circumstances and inner joy that only He can give even if you don't feel happy! ...Amy
    1339 days ago
  • OKBACK2MEAGAIN
    Hugs Tim, hang in there April 20th will come fast!
    1339 days ago
  • JACKIEWALKS4FUN
    emoticon emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • SDEHNKE
    It sounds like you're making progress. Sometimes you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other until things get better. Having a cough can certainly wear on you and I'm sure a change of scenery would help. Let's get this surgery out of the way and then it's onward and upward or in our case hopefully downward emoticon .

    Keeping you in my prayers Tim.

    Suellen
    1339 days ago
  • BUTTONPOPPER1
    Tim, I am so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well and that you've been a little down. I pray for you every day. The surgery date will be here soon, and then you can embark on a new life, hopefully with much less pain and much more hope.

    Please know that so many of us are strongly wishing for your speedy recovery. It will be so wonderful when you regain your mobility! Hang in there! I wish we could all go over there in person and entertain you--maybe sing you some songs and play quiz games to pass the time. I know the wait must be tedious, but the reward will be great!
    emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • NILLAPEPSI
    Great news!!!! God's timing is always perfect. He's usually never early, but He is never, ever late.

    Praying that you feel better soon. Hang in there!!!
    1339 days ago
  • CBRINKLEY401
    Tim,
    I'm sorry you are still struggling. It's encouraging that they have now set a new date for the surgery, and it sounds like this is less likely to be cancelled.
    As to feeling blah, unfortunately the meds they give for depression can do that. Instead of trying to make you feel artificially happy, they work by keeping your emotions on a more even keel. You don't feel the deep despair, but unfortunately also don't feel the highs either. Your depression was so severe that I'm sure the doctors felt that you needed such a strong dose. Hopefully as things progress, your depression will also start to lift and the doctors will then feel safe in lowering the dose of your meds, which should help you feel more like your old self again.
    We're all here rooting for you, and we're excited for you that this long awaited surgery is finally going to happen. Instead of looking at how long it is going to take before you can walk again, maybe approach it as each day means you are one day CLOSER to walking.
    Thank you for keeping us updated and I look forward to your next update. Never give up, my friend.
    1339 days ago
  • _CARPEDIEM_
    I'm sorry you're not feeling well! It sucks being sick on top of everything else that's making life hard right now. I'm glad you have a surgery date set though! That's awesome! I'm so excited for you and how good you'll feel once that's behind you! I'm so sorry you're feeling down though. :( I totally get it. I hope you find something to bring you happiness soon. How is the standing going? I reckon it's hard to keep trying at that when you're feeling sick and blue. Hoping you have a much better week this week, Tim! :)
    emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • RAMONA1954
    Big hugs Tim. I know things are really depressing right now. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
    1339 days ago
  • NEVERORNOW
    emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • 4RASCALS
    Tim that's great news. I continue to pray & send healing thoughts your way. So happy for you that your surgery date has been set. Your new life awaits you so stay positive & know that everything will be okay.
    A whole new world will open up to you. Stay strong & patient, changes take time. Hope your cough gets better. I've marked my calendar & will ask the angels to watch over you now & during your surgery. I know it's hard you your feeling down, just remember nothing stays the same. Better days are ahead of you. Good luck. Have a great week.
    1339 days ago
  • OSHEONA
    I'm sorry to hear how depressed you are. Maybe the medication will kick in soon, since you are taking a higher dose. It takes a while for it to build up in your system. Once you are able to walk again, it will help your moods, because not only are you more independent, but you'll also be making these "feel good" hormones that exercise produces. You have a long while to wait, but try to be patient, because things really are looking up for you. You're getting good care, and the anemia is being addressed as well as needing protein. Iron needs protein to be used, to make hemoglobin, so it's so good that they've added more to your diet. Do you like your shakes? What kind are they giving you? I hope your cough goes away soon, that's no fun!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • EDWARDS1411
    You have a goal and you have focus - keep your eye on the prize. Come April 21st you'll be on the road to recovery and off to a new start and becoming more mobile. You CAN and WILL do this because you remember why you started this journey in the first place. You want to start living the life you deserve and you're getting closer!!! Keep up the great work!!!
    emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • SQUIRRELMOMMA1
    Tim, I read your blog out loud to my family each time you post. We are all behind you cheering and sending good thoughts. So excited about the new surgery date! Keeping my fingers crossed that it happens for you this time. I know it is hard but try to stay positive. Think of all you have gone thru already. You have come so far already and everyone is extremely proud of you.
    1339 days ago
  • ICECUB
    TIM I AM STILL PRAYING FOR YOU. YOU HAVE VERY GOOD NEWS. SOME MES DO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. YOU ARE A VERY STRONG PERSON. DON'T FORGET THAT.
    1339 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10895053
    Oh Tim, so sorry you're not feeling so great these days. You must keep your chin up because we need you here and everyone needs you. Just think of that much-needed surgery that's just around the corner, for you and you alone. You'll be a new you and will go leaps and bounds from then on out!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1339 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17742319
    Praying for you. You have come far and even though you aren't feeling well, please try to believe you will get better. Sometimes believing something good can help make you feel better. Good luck.
    1339 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14402600
    I am so thrilled to hear your news!!! Finally surgery! You will be a new man when that is done. Being able to walk again won't be as hard. It will all take time, but this is a major step in the right direction. Sorry you are dealing with that cough. Always something to irritate, but hopefully it will go fast. Just keep the future in mind. God has plans for you!! You are open and willing to be used to help others so He isn't going to say no. Just rest in His strength and take each day as it comes. You are one amazing guy. Most people would have given up and just died. You are an inspiration to many on here and I'm sure will continue to be as you progress on your journey.
    Hope you can get out of the low place you are in. I get like that now and then. I think we all do. You sure have the right to feel bad with all you have been through and are going through. Just concentrate on getting back on your feet. Good days are coming!! Take care my friend. Thanks for letting us all know your good news. Will keep you in my prayers. Eileen
    1339 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.