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Broken

Sunday, February 05, 2017

Feeling broken and defeated today. Despite knowing all of what I need to do to get my health back I have still been using food to cope with the stress of a new job. I feel like there must be something seriously wrong with me Why do I continue to sabotage all my hard work for food that really only comforts me for minutes. I feel defective, defeated and broken However, at the same time I am trying desperately to cling to the fact that I do have the tools to do this again. Boy do I hate that word again I feel like if I didn't screw up before I wouldn't have to keep doing this over and over again. The reality is I am no different than the late great Robin Williams w ho struggled with his demons and relapsed as well. Somehow it is more shameful when I have created this mess I call my life and cant seem to forgive myself for my relapse. To quote Robin Williams:

“Good people end up in Hell because they can’t forgive themselves.”
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KOBER9999
    I love Maverick's comments! I think she said it all.
    WE Believe in you Sarah!
    (((HUGS)))

    1111 days ago
  • _BELINDA
    I think the truth is that we are addicted to food and what it does to our brain chemistry. Viewing it the same as we would diabetes makes it easier to say it is not our fault we have the disease/addiction, but we are responsible for how we treat our bodies knowing what the wrong foods can do to us, the same as a diabetic or an alcoholic.
    Fighting the urge to eat the wrong foods or to eat huge portions is part of the brain chemistry we have to deal with. It sucks. But we both did this once before without drugs or surgery. We can do it again. We have to.
    I believe in you Sarah. emoticon
    1118 days ago
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