Confused!

So,I am back again and making a pledge to myself to stay on Spark until the summer when I go off the grid for two months. I'm working hard, but am struggling and confused about the "numbers". So, what I know from years of worrying about my weight is this...it supposedly comes down to calories in and calories out. But...what if that doesn't work? I am diligently tracking everything. I can see I burn a healthy amount of calories in comparison to what I eat. Most days I burn, according to the numbers, more calories than I eat if you account for basic calorie use. I decided to go to an endocrinologist to see if there is something I need to consider. I do have a managed thyroid condition. I have had a lot of stress in my life (both parents dying in the last three years from terminal illnesses and an ill but now recovered child). So I know cortisol can be an issue from stress and poor sleep, and I thought maybe a specialist could help me figure things out. What did I hear from her? "Have you considered bariatric surgery?" I lost faith in her at that moment. So, I went to the library this week and started doing some research. I learned that going up and down in weight can mess with your metabolism, as can aging. So I have 4 pregnancies where I gained a high amount of weight and then lost it for the first two, but not the last two, plus one stressful time period where I gained weight and didn't lose it. I have decided to keep reading and researching as well as continuing to increase activity and decrease calories, but I want to know if anyone else has dealt with something like this and whether you have any advice. I know I can't be the only person in this position. I exercise 7-9 hours every week and eat a healthy amount of good food with the occasional indulgence. I'm trying to up my activity and lessen the occasional indulgences. Please let me know whatever thoughts you have about this! Thank you!!!