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Struggling but here

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

I'm going to try to make this a quick one.

Not too much exciting stuff going on at the moment other than the daily grind.

I've been in Lupus Flare that I believe was brought on by a really bad sinus/respiratory infection that took almost 3 months to get rid of. Actually, I'm still fighting the tail end of it.

Flares suck because they cause lots of inflammation (translation - water retention) and they make my joints feel like I am trying to use them with via a Nintendo game controller (did I just date myself, lol). And I am just so tired. I feel like I am waking up from anesthesia or after a night of heavy drinking and might still be buzzed. Every. Single. Day. It definitely makes getting up to exercise more of a challenge than normal for me since I am not a morning person anyway.

I am also frustrated because I hate that I have to use the spoons* I do have to go to work, so I am missing out on things I want to do.

The treatment is a heavy round of steroids which can also cause bloating and weight gain. Thus I have gained 20 pounds in 3 weeks. I know it's not real, but still frustrating.

Anyway, I am here, reading blogs, tracking when I can, trying to be happy with 5000 steps a day rather than 10,000.

I have another race this weekend and am spending Saturday night and Sunday with my 2 childhood besties, so that will be a nice treat.

I hope you are all well. I'll try to check back in after the race on Sunday :).

Be good!

*If you aren't familiar with the spoon concept, here's a link:


The overall feel is a bit more woe-is-me than I tend to be, but it gives a good general idea of the choices you have to make when pushing through/burning the candle at both ends/etc. isn't an option. I think it also applies to anyone with any kind of chronic illness - physical or mental.
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  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1308 days ago
    I had to educate my hubs about the spoons- I get 12 a day and sometimes it takes 6 to get out of bed. I don't have Lupus, but do have Fibro. Self care is absolutely necessary! Even a flu shot can be a trigger for a flare up. Be well and good job on staying so upbeat! It is hard sometimes!

    emoticon Gentle Hugs!
    1394 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5683445
    Thank you for sharing the link about the spoons. I never knew what Lupus was until I read that!
    Have a great race. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1395 days ago
    emoticon My SIL has Lupus. Very hard for her at times.
    Glad you have your friends with you this weekend.
    Good luck with your race.
    1395 days ago
    Sounds tough and I'm sorry you've been dealing with that! The retention is definitely frustrating, I understand.
    1395 days ago
    It is an excellent analogy! Thank you for sharing, and sorry you're counting spoons, too. NOT EASY.

    I don't have lupus but have other issues which require spoon counting. NOT easy, but we adjust as best we can.
    1395 days ago
    I am going to Spark Mail you. Hang in there! Inflammatory flares are no laughing matter. They're serious. Not that I'm insinuating that you're laughing. I can see that you CLEARLY get that!

    1395 days ago
  • GLORYB83
    Thank you for sharing the link about the spoons. I never knew what Lupus was until I read that! My niece's daughter has this and now I can be more understanding when my niece tells me about her days.
    Thank you! I hope you have enough spoons always, to get through your days.
    emoticon emoticon
    1395 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13354694
    emoticon emoticon
    1395 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15597073
    Hugs! The Spoon Theory doesn't quite describe it for me, but yes, it's as close as I can find to explain how I feel to someone who doesn't understand. Keep doing what you're doing to take care of yourself.

    1395 days ago
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