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The Imposter

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Recently I started a running class at the YMCA to help improve my 5k speed. I am really enjoying running with a small group because up until now I'd always ran alone. In this group I am not the fastest but also not the slowest either. However I realized something interesting other day. Despite being a runner for a few months now (including 3 races under my belt) I sometimes still feel like an imposter.

This group of runners are all women of various ages but in general all very active, fit and normal or athletic weight. Although I'm weighing about the same as some and not a whole lot more than the rest of the group I know none of them have ever been obese. They were shocked when they found out I'd lost 70 lbs just since beginning of 2015. I didn't feel judged when I told them instead I think they were impressed.

So why do I feel like an imposter? I think its because I've never been "fit" before. Here I am working out 5-6 days a week - very happily I might add - and yet I look around and marvel I'm part of a running group. It is almost like being a dog that has spent its life stuck on the porch and finally gets to run with the big dogs. I need to remind myself I've worked hard to get here but I don't have to feel out of place around those who have been fit all their life.

Just because I got to the party late doesn't mean I don't deserve to enjoy being here.
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