I had been beating myself up, this pregnancy just didn't seem to be going how I wanted or had planned. I was trying to be active, but it wasn't showing like my previous pregnancy. I was trying to be healthy throughout but it just seemed as if the scale and my maternity clothes were stating otherwise. This time around was different, sure.... I'm older, this is my fourth child, my starting weight wasn't the same as it has been for previous pregnancies, battling depression consumed some days and emotional/stress eating had been a real struggle.
I had just finished yet another DR appointment to see how our baby was growing and was making my way out of the building, when I opened the door to the stairwell to head down to the ground floor a lady following made a huge fuss over me, "You're taking the stairs?? good for you!" I didn't really see what the big deal was, it was just one flight of stairs after all. I responded with "thanks... I just want to keep doing it while I can, every little bit helps right?"
She must have sensed that I truly didn't think much of it because she continued, "oh absolutely, but I can tell you must do other stuff too, what do you do?" I explained that running was something I loved but had moved to the Elliptical and bike because of the impact running had on my body at this point. She was not only impressed, she seemed proud of me.... a complete stranger. She praised my healthy lifestyle and assured me it would make delivery easier and recovery faster, then gave her best wishes on our upcoming birth as we parted ways.
That encounter lasted maybe 45 seconds, but it struck me in a huge way. I'm always declaring that being skinny doesn't equal healthy... That the number on the scale and the size of your clothes do not tell the whole story... but apparently that applied to everyone except myself.
She was right. Was I at my best pregnancy weight? No. Was I in the best shape I've been in at this point compared to previous pregnancies? No. but that doesn't mean I'm unhealthy or not fit. When you put in the work, the effort... it does show. The question is, are you looking in the right place to SEE it?
Being fit and healthy looks different on everyone and it changes with the seasons of life. We have to stop comparing ourselves to other people who do what we do, or are the same age as we are, or the same height as us, etc...
we've also got to do more than say that being fit comes in different shapes and sizes, we've got to start believing it as well as give ourselves some credit.
Beating myself up because I'm not where I want or think I should be, instead of acknowledging and being grateful for where I am is just silly. I would want to slap my way of thinking had it been anyone else, but its easier to justify my negative thoughts because somehow it doesn't apply to me. Goodness knows I didn't HAVE to go to the gym, or choose to be active, or take the stairs, but I do and I should be happy about it.
So take a closer look at yourself... change your focus.
Look at your ideas of progress and be kind... to you.
Are you where you were yesterday? a few weeks ago? Months? Years?
If you met YOURSELF could you see a change, a difference? Would you see someone fit? Healthy?
Our focus must change from comparing ourselves to others, to acknowledging the change and success within ourselves.
So lets keep pushing, lets keep moving forward, and for Pete's sake, lets give ourselves some grace.