Monday, March 14, 2016
These little yellow flowers bloom all over my yard every spring. They make me so happy. Yellow was my mother's favorite color, and just seeing those bright little flowers remindS me of her. I miss her so much sometimes. Yet there are times I can hardly remember her. I guess that is what they mean when they say time heals all wounds...
I've inherited so much from her. I look so much like her that it is scary. I've got her bad teeth, her love of sewing and her mental illnesses-though she was never, to my knowledge diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I can see the traits with in my memories of her.
I also inherited her body shape, and difficulty losing weight. She fought so hard to stay slim, with various amounts of success, but she always ate healthier than I do now. I'm trying to do better, but in the 15 years since she has passed, I have had a very difficult time doing what is best for me. Including eating right and exercising.
But one other thing I learned from her is that every dawn marks a new beginning. A new day where I can either choose to wallow in self pity, drench myself in anger or greet the day smiling. I won't lie, there are days I choose one of the first two. There are also days when no matter what I choose, it seems the universe has other plans for me. But the important thing is to make the choice and to fight for that choice.
And today I chose to make it a good day, and a productive one to boot.