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KATESCAPE
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My Inner Struggle

Saturday, February 06, 2016

My inner struggle is so real today. I am too ashamed to share the details (nothing immoral or illegal- more of an anxiety related character flaw) I'm Irish Catholic and I carry guilt with me harshly and have a ridiculously tough time of letting go. So once guilt creeps into my psyche it takes a hold for days and leaves me in a funk. I went to bed that way last night and it has a hold of me still this morning. I see the beauty of the glorious sun glistening snow and all the solace and peace that scene outside my window presents. Yet, it will not allow me to shake my negative self talk.

It took a lot of self encouraging to sign in to SP this morning. I am glad I did. I just so happened to be on my goodie page and saw I had some 6+ months ago sent myself a bouquet of flowers. The note read; " You are loved~ You are enough~ You are deserving" I am so glad I wrote myself that note, because today I really needed to read it, say it and feel it. I'm working on feeling that way today, but I know that statement to be true( on the positive side of my self talk) I am optimistic I can get there again.

I would like to encourage anyone who maybe reading this blog to send yourself a goodie & a note...your future self might just need it! Have a wonderful day Sparkers emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CATE195
    So sorry I missed this blog, I hope you are in a better place today. I love the idea of sending yourself a goodie, So glad to have you as a friend here on SP. Although my name is Catherine and my nickname Cathy, I have always wanted to be Cate, so therefore chose this as my SP name. Your name is Katescape, do you live on the Cape?
    1384 days ago
  • LEARNASIGROW
    I think I fixed my Sparkpage to accept comments and so that people can friend me.

    LOL! I have been away so long that the site seems more complicated.
    1395 days ago
  • SALAM4545
    I am glad you were able to get that reminder when you needed it. You really are worth it, and I hope you know that somewhere out in cyberspace is someone who believes that truly and deeply (me).
    1397 days ago
  • LEARNASIGROW
    I have struggled with shame and guilt, too. Easy to do, because none of us are perfect. Congratulations on pushing through. Congratulations on giving yourself grace and love.

    The Bible says that God's people will never be ashamed and that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

    I hold onto those words more than any other Bible verse. Jesus took my shame on the cross, because He knew I felt short of the glory of God and that I could only come to Him just as I am.

    Thank you for being open and honest. God bless you!
    1400 days ago
  • MAMABEAR372
    Some of these days may be hard days, but without them you wouldn't be able to appreciate the good days. And tomorrow may be the best day of your life. Hang in there and keep fighting. emoticon emoticon
    1406 days ago
  • APRIL_V_2
    Love that you sent yourself the flowers and especially the encouraging words. You are loved! You are enough! You are deserving! emoticon
    1407 days ago
  • PENNYSAVER2
    emoticon
    1407 days ago
  • CAMETHANMOM
    You can do this!!!!!!
    1407 days ago
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