The Fat Genie
Wednesday, February 03, 2016
Sometimes when I'm day dreaming about being skinny, I have the genie discussion with myself. You know the one where the fat zapping genie shows up and grants you one wish to zap away the fat from any area of your choosing. I think which area would choose? I'm really not beating myself down but I’m realistic...I think I look pretty good in my clothes but I want to look better naked too! This inevitably leads to the pinch, pull, and suck. Pinch this roll away, pull this piece of skin back (or up or sideways), suck in the 'ol gut. I wonder if my expectations of fit and healthy are what I'll look like when I finally get there. In my mind I think I see my 16 year old self as healthy. 16 was a looooong time ago and that's probably not realistic. I think if I'm honest with myself I’m a little bit afraid that all the hard work & sacrifice won't be worth what I see in the mirror. Is that awful? I certainly know vanity is not an admirable attribute and that the end game here is health/quality of life...BUT I don't want to be a bag of loose skin either. I want to be able to put on a slim fitting dress without having to struggle into spanx first. I want to be able to hold my arms straight out without worrying about my wings. I want to look lump/sag free in a bikini (that's probably asking a bit much).
Anyway, here's to putting it all out there! Being honest about my fears, vanity, and other short comings. I'm going to plow ahead despite being afraid!