I am not sure where I am at.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
So after all pondering and thinking. Yes weightloss is simpe. 3 meals 2 snacks. And move your body. I do keep telling myself that. But there is that little voice in my head that wants me to eat all the other things that are bad for me.
Eating has become a hobby, an obsession, my award for everything. I need to change this. I need to eat what fuels my body and not taste great. But I have been eating for pleasure since I was little. I am not sure how not to eat for pleasure.
I was at a Weight watcher meeting and honestly just realized how many people are looking for human connection and companionship. I was a bit disappointed because it all looked a bit like a money making machine. How have everyone lost their empathy for each other? When did we stop caring and just were glad that it wasn't us?
Well, the only good thing she ask me is why I start gaining all the weight?
I started when I was new in the States and food became my only companion and best friend. I still feel lost and lonely in this country. There are so many people all around us but making a honest real connection is so hard. People are so untrusting and downright cruel.
I think after that it just keep piling up and depression on top of that didn't help. And of course I ate more because I felt bad about myself. Vicious cycle.
So enough for today. Just one step at a time and I will keep going.