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Sometimes when realization hits, it's not always nice..

Monday, August 17, 2015

I was at a cousins birthday party yesterday. She turned 11. Seems like just yesterday she was a lil chunkamonk lol :) And now shes 11 going on 25 and bossy lol

Anyways, she had a bouncy house waterslide... yes they make those. Wish my daughters birthday was in the summer, then she could totally do that for hers. lol

Anyways, so all the kids got off the waterslide to let adults get on and have a go. Climbing those wet "stairs" (more like foot grips of another kind) was the most difficult thing i have had to do in a long time. I could not grip the staits, and could not pull myself up and use my feet athe same time. I had to kneel, and use my knees to climb and pull. I am damned heavy, and my arms are not used to having to lug my weight around. My shoulders are sore today, but damn it, I made it up and down the slide at least once.

I will be fit again. I will be athletic and enjoy working out again. I will participate in team sports and enjoy them without being overly exhausted again. I'm tired of being this way. I will be able to run and feel like the wind is under me pushing me. i will have more energy again and do fun t hings more with my daughter.

If i were put in a survival situation, sure, I might live because I can grow things, and catch food, know how to make a fore from nothing, and make shelter. BUt If a predator attacked, I would be slow, and weaker than other potential people with me. I would be the first to die. I don't want to be that. I want to be strong, and I will be damn it.

Maurice did not die for nothing. His death is what kickstarted me to do the right thing; the surgery. I may be nervous, but this is the right thing to do for my health.
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