Best diet secret yet
Monday, June 15, 2015
So, for many years, most of my 35 years actually, I have been overweight. For at least 15 of those years, I have been obese. For at least 5 years I have been morbidly obese. What's the next step? I had to make choice, obviously it's not a good pattern: either I keep going on this journey and end up dead very soon or I do a U-turn and make some changes. I knew the answer immediately upon asking the rhetorical question but there were many questions that followed?
How do I undo years of bad habits and bad choices? Will my body ever be the way I imagine myself when I have dreams of my perfect self? Do I have the motivation to do this the right way, not to mention the patience? Millions of questions startled me as I stared at the number "358" on my scale and knew that something had to give.
So, I did what many of us do. I determined within myself that I'm going to be perfect, make awesome choices, only eat kale and spinach and occasionally treat myself to a strawberry and I'm going to workout for 20 hours a day and sleep for four. Obviously, I'm a bit of an extremist. I made it to the point of writing down my plan before an oreo fell into my lap and I rescued it from the doomed fate and being thrown away like the other oreos before it (I had just purged my cabinets of all of the devil's food). So, I walked around this way for a few months, extremely dieting and then failing and extremely overeating. Obviously, I was not surprised to see the whopping 5 pounds that I took of (in a month) come right back on. Then I was sitting in church and, as I mentioned in another post, the pastor mentioned that we are all prisoners to something and that Jesus wanted to free us of our prisons. Immediately, l knew that my body was my prison. My mindset, my inability to magically vanquish 200 pounds off my body. I had never, until that moment, thought of asking Jesus for help losing weight. I am a devout Christian and ask for help for many things in my everyday life but I had never cried out to my Saviour for help in this area. I mean, wasn't world hunger more of an issue? Or my sick grandma? How vain is it for me to ask for that in a prayer? But that day, I did. I told Him how sorry I was to have abused the body that He gave to me. I asked Him for guidance, for patience, for perseverance.
So, you know what happened? I'm 30 pounds lighter and I have motivation. I know that I can do it now, not because of me but because of Him. Everyday I get up, I eat breakfast, I work out, I plan my meals. I set my home up for success, only buying healthy things. I know it may seem silly to some, but to me this is my motivation. I'm going to lose this weight and I'm going to do it while praising Him for every pound and for every time that I mess up. I am learning to forgive myself for those days when I am not in my calorie range or for when I decide I just don't want to exercise.
Mainly though, when I am stressed out (I'm a stress eater), I try to quote some of the scriptures that I have memorized. I tell myself that if I can quote 10 verses and still want that candy bar, then I'll eat it, regardless of the consequences. I usually get through 3 and feel better and calmer. Sometimes I still want the candy bar and once I still ate it, but usually... usually I don't. I'm looking forward to the day that I am at the weight HE wants me to be at.
Anyway, sorry if this sounds preachy. To those who know me in real life, you know that I'm not usually like this, but I really wanted to share my revelation (if you can call it that) with you guys!