Ready for the Gym?
Monday, June 08, 2015
This weekend was a crazy mess. One more week and then things should calm down just a bit. Actually...a LOT. I'm looking forward to it and to getting super serious about my weight loss and my own journey of self-discovery.
Update from last post. I did tell the ex that I would not file for divorce yet. I told him I am also not getting back together with him right now. I did tell him that I would try to spend some time with him now and again and give him the opportunity to listen to him...but I explained to him that not only am I confused - I'm very angry and bitter right now...and that's not just going to go away because he wants it to. I told him that I need to work on me right now. That this is the number one important thing in my life. That I make ZERO promises to him and that I will reserve my final judgement until April of next year when we have been separated a full 12 months OR if/when I decide before that for or against trying again.
I give him credit...this is the longest he's ever been consistent. This is the longest he's ever gone without turning on me. This is the longest he's contended that he gets it and then has tried to continue to explain HOW he gets it. It's what I said I wanted for 20 years and finally gave up hoping for...and now he seems to be trying to grow up and get his act together. (He even said just that.)
Still, I don't trust him.
And I don't trust me with him.
So, yes, I will open myself up to listening and to allowing myself to be around him. This will either hurt or harm him in the long run because if I find myself spending entire hours and days with him and not coming around, never really attracted to him again...I'm going to have my answer. And I'm going to be honest with him about that.
More than anything else, I've vowed to be honest with myself and take care of ME. It's way past time for that. I've been neglected for years...it's time someone looks out for my best interest.
So that's where we are right now.
Honestly, I'm in no hurry to move on to another relationship. There is one guy talking to me and he gets a little pushy from time to time, but I have been very blunt with him that I'm not ready to date. Friendly conversation? Fine. Dating? Nope. Not doing it. Not ready yet. But I'm not going to close myself down completely if people want to be nice to me and be a new friend and explore interests and ideas.
Now, as far as my eating...well, like I said, this weekend was a bit of a mess. I ran around all day Saturday with the kids from 7am to about 11pm. It was EXHAUSTING. Sunday I vowed to do nothing, and did basically that, but found myself hungry ALL DAY and eating way too much.
Today I'm back on track again. Regular breakfast and snack. Regular lunch in a few. Tacos for dinner - already recorded in my calorie tracker. I walked down the steps of my parking garage today 3 flights! Yes, this is a big deal...since I'm pretty sure the tendon tear happened while going down a flight of stairs and I'm actually quite terrified of them now. Walked to work. Will walk back and up the stairs later. I've vowed to do that every day this week - even if I'm slow as hell and it's embarassing. Then I need to go home tonight and help mow the lawn. I think if I do about 25 minutes with my brace on I'll be alright. I think I can get the front and side done in that time. Maybe I'll pick up dog poop the rest of the time, since that is bending and not so hard on my feet and ankles. That's the plan.
Today I was looking at possible gym opportunities. When summer hits, I think I want a place inside to get my workouts done. The ex has stated he would like to join me in working out, so maybe that's something I will consider. Again, if this just makes us friend or drives us apart more or puts us together - I have no expectataions at all either way...I just know I'm not about to settle ever again. I need to fall in love with him as a 34 year old single mother, as an adult, if this is ever going to have a chance of working in some fashion.
So, I'm wondering...how BAD are people's experiences at places like Planet Fitness and Anytime Fitness? I honestly don't much care about free pizza or whatever, I'm looking for an air conditioned place to work out that I can afford...and these places are likely to fit that bill. I have always loved the concept of Anytime Fitness being available ANY TIME. I love to do things on my own terms and always hated gym hours. But I don't know that I'll need the early/late access unless they put one in closer to my home. Planet Fitness ...I would figure the equipment is plenty sufficient for what I need to do. Do these places charge yearly or monthly? I guess I'm going to have to go down and check them out myself in person.
The other option here is more pricey (I think), but would probably be better for me. It's a Community Center in a town near my work. They have a pool with aerobic classes, which would be really good for me. They also have a weight room and regular gym equipment, plus basketball courts and racquetball (which I actually like to do).
Other than that...I have my heavy bag at home, so I can fill some boxing time into my routines.
I'm basically looking for:
- a comfortable bike with a TV (b/c I friggin' HATE stationary bikes!)
- a rowing machine (my one machine of choice!)
- an eliptical (again, prefer that TV or something...UGH!)
Everything else is just gravy. Workout machines I can rock. Free weights I can rock. I know what I'm doing, I just have to get back to doing it.
The pool would be nice.
Classes would be nice eventually.