I'm At It, Again!
Saturday, June 06, 2015
I went to my first general physical in, say, 10 years. As a Woman, I most often make sure that my Plumbing still works. LoL. I have had notes of slight cholesterol issues and a sweet tooth that didn't seem to know when to quit.
Thankfully, my new doctor has confirmed that I am rather successfully pushing Pre-Diabetes, but only so much - same with the Cholesterol. Mind you, the last time I had that checked, I was a Vegetarian. Now, I'm looking at Paleo/Primal lifestyle menus (I try to avoid the word Diet like an Stage professional avoids "Good Luck!")
I've never really had much resistance to changing habits that don't serve me very well, especially in terms of fitness and nutrition. I might slack off and forget and let it lapse, but I would always give a good effort. After an hour-long discourse with my PCP, I find resistance in some strange places - mind and body.
This is weird for me. I think, however, it is also helpful. I can take it as a challenge to myself, a prompt to understand myself better and see what might have been sabotaging me, behind the scenes - subconsciously.
I have a bit of work ahead of me. With a look at my calories and other elements accounted for in the Food Tracker, here on SP, after a meal of three (Rather than my usual, 4) slices of delivery pizza and one (usually 2) Lava cakes, I find I can get motivated to make certain changes rather quickly.
I can certainly learn to release my fears of the Kitchen! Before I ever knew about Gordon Ramsey, the kitchen I grew up with WAS a Nightmare! It was the worst place you'd ever want to be in and not for the cleanliness - that was cool, no worries there. But the sparing matches that would go on between the household line cooks.
Eventually, I seemed to adopt the hostility I've seen of my family in the kitchen and I could NEVER Take the heat. Heat affects me poorly, in general, but being grilled by people around me as I'm roasting something in the oven is not at all a pleasant experience. I need to be the ONLY chef in the kitchen.
In the Building, really, but beggars can't be choosers, so I'm told.
Many people have near meditative experiences in the kitchen. I've dated, lived with and, at one point, married all sorts of great cooks. My current partner is pretty decent, but he finds my pickiness a challenge and has yet to display the suave' or negotiating skills to try to open or change my mind.
I just don't really connect to food like most people. Certainly not a fan of the process of cooking - I gear up to cook something, go out and buy it, get tired, forget about the meal, remember the meal days later and dread not only the heat involved in cooking, but the possibility of spoilage, the clean up, people getting in my way, or trying not to and leaving me alone when I might actually need help.
I have a few things to explore in myself to get to where I want to be.
That being said, I want to get down to the weight I was when I got married, nearly 21 years ago - within the next two years. By the time I round out 40, I will be near or at 185.