Progress. Finally!

I did make it a point to leave early today so I could stop by my doctor's office and weigh in. It's been a couple weeks since I've checked in. My last doctor's appointment was actually April 22nd. At that appointment I was back up to 458.2 and trying to move on. I set a goal to be back down 8 pounds by my next weigh in on the 21st of this month. Another week and a couple days away. I have struggled a lot since then, but I've been making as many slow, deliberate steps as I possibly can along the way. Today I weighed in back down to 452.6! Progress! Finally!! And if I focus, I really do think I could get those last 2 pounds I was looking for when I set that 8 pound goal for this month!

Some of the most important things I have learned (and some of you have helped point out) along the way:

- Don't even TRY to be perfect. It's unattainable and you don't need any more thoughts of failure in your life. Do the best you can do at each turn and be okay with that.

- Argue the positive. I've been listening to a podcast nearly every morning on my way to work lately called Happier. Gretchen Rubin and her sister, Elizabeth Craft, use the time to discuss steps you can take to make yourself happier - super simple things like setting an alarm for yourself to go to bed or doing anything that will only take ONE MINUTE the minute you think about it instead of putting it off until later. The discussion on this morning's podcast was to argue the positive. When you hear that voice inside your head arguing about how you aren't doing enough, argue the positive side. No, I AM doing enough. Because, believe it or not, we can actually successfully argue both sides of just about any argument with ourselves and if we try to argue the positive, we start to be flooded with examples of what we're doing RIGHT so we're not constantly getting down on ourselves. I'm really going to work on this one moving forward.

- Listen to your body. This is something I wasn't so great at last time. I told myself I wasn't doing enough because I put too much emphasis on the scale and not enough on my body. This time, with the troubles I've had with my feet, hips and back, I know I want more than anything to get through this as healthy as possible. So I'm listening to my body. Today it told me that it was overworked. Last night I went home early so that my car could be fixed and I accidentally fell asleep for 4 hours or more. I got up and apologized to the kids for missing my alarm that was to wake me up to cook them dinner. My body was done. So this morning, I listened. I walked slow. I took my time. And I paid the extra $6.50 to park right next to my work so I didn't need to do the 1/2 mile hike to/from the parking garage today. It feels RIDICULOUS to need rest days when it already feels like I'm not doing ANYTHING, but I have to remember that I went from doctor enforced NOTHING to walking every day...no matter how little it is to my runner brain, it's way more than it was just a few weeks ago and I need to treat my "workouts" with the respect they deserve. Today I needed a rest day. Today I will take a rest day.

- LOG EVERYTHING! Whether it's good or not, the habit of logging is super good for me moving forward. I need to make sure I'm doing everything I can to move ahead. That includes logging and drinking my water.

- WATER! Okay, so I work in Charleston, WV. For those not paying attention, we've had some past troubles with water contamination in the past couple years. We even attracted the attention of Miss Brockovich herself after our last water crisis. Yesterday we noticed that the water in the toilets was brown. I immediately became suspicious, which was a very good thing. We were later warned to stay away from the water since there had been some leakage compromise and sediment had entered the water supply. My coworker went and got us all bottled water and we got through yesterday on the minimum. Working here has taught me how VALUABLE water is and how much I miss it when my supply is cut off. This morning I dumped my contaminated water and got two water cups/bottles full of clean water. I plan on finishing both of those today (one is a 16 oz cup, the other a 32 oz bottle) and trying to refill my water bottle before I leave work today. I WILL DRINK MY WATER! (I also know how important this will be to my aching muscles right now!! Rest and water will mean I'll probably be able to walk again tomorrow.)

So, I'm pretty much back on track. I felt reenergized this morning. My small good decisions are paying off and I can build upon them to see continued success. I'm getting better at dealing with the ex. I had to see him twice yesterday and the second time didn't hurt as much as the first. Every time I'm reminded that I'm doing the right thing by myself and my kids. I know that I'm not the person I know I can be yet, but I will get there again...sometimes you just have to give yourself time to heal before you can rebuild yourself better. I know that. You guys keep reminding me of that (and thank you!). This isn't supposed to be easy and I'm doing a really great job dealing after fighting for so long to keep this together and finally accepting that it was a lost cause.

Here's to moving forward.

Two more pounds to slay in 9 days! That's doable...