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Down 23, Up 18 = Insanity!

Monday, April 13, 2015

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then I must truly be a stark raving lunatic! Despite being fully aware of the consequences, I have gorged on all the junk foods that show up on the "eat infrequently and in moderation list". In record time, I have managed to eat my way from being down 23 lbs to gaining back 18 pounds.

What was I thinking? I wasn't. I was avoiding and rationalizing. I was telling myself lies about what I was consuming. I was looking the other way when I should have been laser focused. I was being the food addict I am.

I want off this train and I want off now! I am beyond frustrated with this vicious cycle. Losing and gaining is self-defeating and exhausting. For all the work I've done since October 6th when I started my "get healthy" plan, there's not a lot to feel good about.

So, its back to the drawing board. What it will take to make a permanent change I don't know. But I do know that at least I haven't lost the will to TRY! But, as Yoda so wisely said, “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” So where does that leave me??? Do!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ALOOGOBI
    I know how you feel because I have absolutely been there. Everyone on Spark has done that same thing, sometimes over and over and over. I don't think there is a magic formula or a secret to making that permanent change. Each of us has to decide for ourselves when they have had enough of the yoyo ride. Personally I don't agree with Yoda, I think that TRY can be a powerful thing. It's a first step, and every journey starts with a first step.
    1764 days ago
  • WHYTEBROWN
    I'm so sorry to hear that you slipped a little because I KNOW soooooooooooo well the vicious cycle of which you speak. I just read a quote though that failure is the mother of success so as tough as it is we have to fall sometimes to succeed. emoticon on deciding to make a U-turn before undoing ALL your efforts. I know you may feel a little or a lot discouraged but look at it this way you've done it before and you can do it again, 1 lb and one day at a time!! I'm cheering you on. emoticon emoticon
    1780 days ago
  • ERIN_POSCH
    i'm right there with you girlfriend... sad but true .... we can do this together!! WE WILL SUCCEED!!!
    1781 days ago
  • SPARKFRAN514
    You’re allowed to scream you're allowed to cry, but never give up.
    Working out and eating healthy makes you beautiful!
    Take a walk. Don’t worry about how long or far you go—just get out there! emoticon thanks for stopping by my page for a visit emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • BLONDEE53
    And DO you will! You know you can. I'm in the seat three rows back on that train and I too, want off...it's stopping now.....Woohoo!

    I've dabbled in the dirt so long I resemble a mud pie...but there is hope and you (we all) have what it takes to do this. Again...is better than not at all! Blessings to you as you shake off the dregs of yesterday and carry on!
    1781 days ago
  • FERRETLOVER1
    Congratulations on catching yourself heading down the wrong track...that is a big part of becoming successful at this lifetime journey we are on. Instead of letting yourself go all the way backwards, you have realized you are in trouble and reached out for help.

    Taking stock of where you are now and where you want to be will really help you get back on track. Keep on looking forward towards your goals - emoticon emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • DAWNWATERWOMAN
    Do!
    1781 days ago
  • JEFFSCOGIRL
    I have been in your shoes so many times!!! The only thing I can tell you is to keep trying! I also did a ton of research about motivation and why we stick with certain things and not with others. In that research, I did a lot of soul searching and realized that my motivation didn't match my actions, which set me up for falling off the wagon (repeatedly). So my suggestion to you is, figure out what your true motivation is. Once you figure that out, you'll be on the right track for sure! GOOD LUCK!!! You can do it!
    1781 days ago
  • EMMAMINNIE
    You've caught yourself going the wrong direction. emoticon Track, be conscious of your choices--all the things you know so well and can begin doing again today. emoticon
    1781 days ago
  • HISAMANDA
    There is at least one thing to feel good about: you caught yourself at 18 instead of 24. You may have backslidden, but you caught yourself before you were back where you started (or worse!)
    1781 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.