So what else is new?
Monday, March 02, 2015
Usually when people say that, it's in response to some announcement that they've heard a hundred times before ("It's going to snow tomorrow!" "So what else is new?") but this time I really feel some new stuff coming on.
I'm not losing weight as fast as I hoped (do we ever? - except for FLORIDASUN and her cooking-happy FMD, which I'm trying but so far not following very closely.) I haven't been exercising as much as I should - surprise! Seriously, I'm a walker and a very busy landscaper in nice weather, so it's hard for me to switch to indoor exercise when the world is sub-zero (F), thigh deep in snow and I'm stuck inside. But instead of buying that excuse, I'm actually getting down on the floor with some of the DVDs I've bought over the years. I'm way too far from civilization for a gym membership, so that's out. And if anyone has any tips on how to claim what the four-leggers feel is *their* turf and be able to exercise without cat or dog "help", please share!
When the larder starts to run a little thin, as it does by late winter (I belong to a CSA the rest of the year), instead of falling back on fattening, not very healthy dishes, I'm sticking to low-fat proteins, complex carbs and as much greenery as I can afford. I've discovered that my body is so happy with my brain for doing this that it's actually willing to forgo the usual weight gain and depression.
I'm in a worse financial bind than I've ever been in before, and believe me, I've been in some pips. The new thing is that I'm not panicky. I don't know whether it's because, in the back of my mind, I know there will be a good outcome, whether I've just lost interest in panicking over money, or whether I'm just in some alternate reality where truly bad stuff doesn't happen ( let's hope it's the first option!) Nevertheless, I've spent today going over ideas and sources instead of pacing, whining and drinking. I'm honestly not that concerned. I put on my grown-up hat, made all the necessary phone calls, and climbed back onto my warm couch with one dog and two cats. (The other cats are busy blocking the heat outlets.)
Writing...writing. You know, it's like any other task that you dread - once you start it, you see how much less painful it was than you were expecting. Believe it or not, I honestly do love writing, almost as much as I love glass work and mixed media collage. I took a day to follow a bunch of new Twitter folks and started digging around for free-lance publishers - once again, for the first time, not pacing, whining and drinking but actually taking action in a positive manner.
After several years of on-again off-again major depression resulting in a house that looks like some Hoarder nightmare, I've turned a corner and gotten half the downstairs cleaned up and am working on the rest. Not every day, as I seem to have developed some sort of chest Thing ( I really *am* allergic to cleaning!) but more days than not. Given that it's a 4000 sq ft, 200 year old farmhouse, "tidying up" involves sorting through literally centuries of Things. This is a Big Deal - probably something concerning self-worth that I'll think about later.
And you know what has helped me in all these endeavors more than anything? (No, not drink and drugs, wise guys.) Spark People. I find if I start my day off here, it sets me on the right track. Not that derailment isn't still a possibility, but I feel like you all are fighting the good fight and cheering me on from the sidelines, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let us down again.
You guys are my Tribe.