Questionable gut feeling
Sunday, March 01, 2015
I just can't put my finger on it yet but I'm feeling miserable and sad. There I said it. Usually, if I feel this way, I fake it til I make it. My 8yr old can detect changes in my attitude like a hawk (don't know if that was the righ idiom but you know what I mean). I refuse to let him see me like this. It is really dreary outside & Sunday---otherwise I'd drop him off and find an EA meeting. Then again, I have an associate there who told me a very distraught man in the midst of a divorce and subsequent poverty, recently committed suicide. I pass no judgment. Attending the mtg just might not be the right place for me tonight. I'll open my bible, see where I am led, I'll complete my Brene Brown book on Kindle "The gifts of imperfection) It is excellent...oh heck, it might be TOM ending and hormonal changes to my body. Will have to discuss with my docs but right now it feels like a sadness in my gut that I just can't reach. I'm on the verge of crying and curling up into bed but what good will that do me.
for the boys isn't cooked but I know my eldest will pull through. At 18, he doesn't understand depression (it comes and goes) but he understands his mother's imperfections. Thank you to my Higher Power for the strength to raise them all with compassion and a loving
I do have a 10 minute
program called Headspace on my phone...I'll begin there, let my mind focus and wander and re-focus as instructed. Something may surface...
Do you ever get to a place where you cant put your finger on it but your gut feels there is something wrong?