'Tis All Hallow's Eve and I have to admit...the weather is weird.
The wind is howling, the house is rattling and shaking, it's cool in the house no matter how much you turn up the heat.
My youngest daughter is going through the angst of not really knowing what is going on for her. A friend of hers wants to go trick or treating with her, but she keeps changing her plans. Ah to be young and freezing while going out for candy.
Nah, I'll just eat the stuff that I bought for the goofy looking kids that come to my door.
Things haven't changed much here. I'm still not motivated. I'm still talking to my Mom everyday and I'm still a Mom.
You know. The never ending role that I will play for the rest of my life. Referee, wheeler and dealer, maid, nurse, judge, mediator, hugger, joker...especially the joking.
What is a house without laughter?
I wasn't feeling well a few nights ago and laid down while everyone was eating supper. The house was quiet. I slept, which is really all that I needed. When I was up in the morning, my DH said, "Last night was awkward. You are the leader of the house when it comes to the kids. There is no doubt about that. There was no laughter, joking or just a good conversation at the table last night."
Boy did I feel bad. For them and for me.
Did I raise the kids to be awkward around each other? Is my Husband that alienated with the bunch? Could no one just have fun without me?
So many thoughts ran through my mind.
Then it boiled down to one thought.
So, I know I have to boot the depression out the door. I have to make more of an effort to go for a walk. I have to eat better, rest and just be Mom.
Just not today. I have to get in the vehicle and give my darlings a ride from school so they don't freeze to death on the way home.
Take care my buddies.
Stay safe and warm.