Fear - You can't keep me down anymore!
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
Fear is an ugly part of my life. I have lived with it for such a long time, I don't know what I would do without it. That has to change in order for me to succeed.
Most of my fear is based on what I look like or what people think. Or should I say, what I THINK people are thinking. I pride myself on being quite the mind reader sometimes. I can just look at someone and somehow an entire conversation about how fat I look that day is had in a matter of moments, in a glance. HA - stupid brain of mine playing tricks on me! I need to remember that I am my own worst critic and what I perceive as a "mean" look could be so many things. Maybe that person is having a bad day, maybe the sun was in their eyes, maybe they are gassy - who knows. Point is, I don't. So...what is my action plan?
First, I need to take a mental step back and remember the paragraph above. Maybe I could do a few breathing exercises, or count backwards from 10. Next, I have been trying to put myself in situations that make me uncomfortable. Situations like eating lunch by myself, going to the gym, or walking on the beach by myself. I am hoping that if I put myself out there enough, it will begin to be common to me and I won't have a knee jerk reaction of anxiety/fear. Finally, I need to be kinder to myself. I need to look in the mirror every day and remind myself that I am a person of value. I AM beautiful and smart and funny. That people actually do want to be around me. Even typing that was hard for me, so I have a ways to go. But I typed it, and now I am going to post it for anyone to read.
Start of mental overhaul...check. Go me.