A Lesson in Loving Yourself
Sunday, October 05, 2014
I give love unconditionally to everyone I meet but to myself. For whatever reason, I struggle to love myself. I thought it would happen after losing weight and becoming the perfect body media promised me. As I got to my goal weight, it seems the hatred for my stomach grew.
Every morning, I would wake up, stand in front of the mirror and just hate myself. I would look at that flaw and never appreciate the rest of me. I knew I needed to accept my stomach but just couldn't. Maybe it was the fact that it felt so unfair that I worked hard to lose 100 pounds and never got the flat, tight stomach like the media promised me I would have if only I lost weight.
I was so focused on the flaw in me that I never appreciated my greatest features. Every morning I still wake up and check out to see if my stomach have shrunk. When it didn't, it was like I was failure. Hating parts of me needs to stop and I need to love myself.
I have appreciated certain parts of myself like my legs that help me run miles. I have never appreciated my great complexion and feel I always have taken it for granted. In the past few weeks, residents at my work have told me how I have soft skin or a nice complexion. All these residents is they all have Alzheimer's. The thing about this disease is they have no filter so when they tell you have big legs or soft skin. They are typically just observing what they see - they aren't trying to be mean and would be upset if they knew what they were saying was hurtful. Some of these residents have the biggest hearts.
Not only have they shown me the lesson of appreciating rather hating myself everyday, they have shown me that if I don't learn to love my body now I will always struggle with it. I know some residents that still get upset with their big legs or flabby arms. These are individuals that are elderly, lived a full life, have a family that loves them and they still aren't happy with themselves. I don't know about you but I don't want to be in my 80s and not loving myself.